I did not see this coming

So you won't believe, but I am recovering from acute bronchitis for the second time in three months.

Yes. And no, I don't smoke.

I read on the Internet that smoking is the primary cause of bronchitis.

In my case there is another reason. Probably that I picked up a germ while out on Saturday and it gave me a cold on Monday, and then I got bronchitis on Wednesday.

At any rate I was asleep in my bed all day on Thursday.

With a fever. And chills.

I could not even drink my coffee yesterday morning. On the how-sick-is-she meter, one being fit as a fiddle and ten being one foot in the grave, the other on a greased roller skate, me not wanting my coffee is a twelve.

I do feel better today. Not great, but better. I could not finish my coffee, but I drank some.

Thank you for asking.

However, in my weakened condition I cannot think of a thing to write about so I guess I'll give you another joke.

Debbie asked me to tell my favorite joke in a meme, and I did -- the one about the talking dog -- but this is my second favorite:

Q: What do you call a midget psychic who has escaped from prison?

A: A small medium at large.

And if you take umbrage at the use of the word midget, you are in the wrong blog.

Here is hoping that you enjoy a lovely and illness-free weekend.

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Happy Friday

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This time I meme it

So yes, it has been a week since I updated my blog, and I apologize. I know thousands are perishing for the next word that emanates from my keyboard.

Normally I post three times a week but last week is a blur. I cannot explain it any better than that.

A number of things transpired and I was swept away in the current of events.

At one point I went so far as to Google "early onset Alzheimer's symptoms" -- and no, I'm not kidding or trying to be cute or making fun of anyone.

But, in reading an online article which purported to divulge that information, I did not recognize the symptoms listed as being any of those that plague me at present.

Erica sweetly suggested that perhaps the primary symptom is not recognizing any of the symptoms.

But let's continue as though I don't have it.

My dear blogging buddy Debbie at Right Truth very kindly tagged me in a meme several days ago, and that's what we're going to do today.

First let me say, the last thing I consider myself to be is influential. But maybe that's a symptom of early onset Alzheimer's they don't mention in the articles.

What I do know is that Debbie is a stand-up conservative and a pretty neat lady. She has blogged tirelessly for the sake of conservative principles and ideals for a long time.

I admire her.

So for Debbie to consider me influential is huge. Turns out she is a bigger fan of my photography than of my writing, but that's okay. I'll take whatever I can get.

Thank you, Debbie. You're a diamond.

There are rules for the meme, and they are thus:

Display the award logo on your blog.

Link back to the person who nominated you.

Answer seven questions decided by your nominator.

Nominate (any number of) other bloggers for this award and link back to them.

Notify those bloggers of the award requirements.

The seven questions Debbie devised, and my answers:

Q: Should the United States pass a law forbidding a Muslim from running for and being elected as President of the United States? Why? 

A: Well, since we have a Muslim president now, I don't know how we can put the cat back into the bag. Once set free, cats don't like to go back into bags.

Something about passing a law forbidding someone from running for president based on their religion bothers me.

At the same time, Muslim beliefs are inimical to the survival of our beloved republic. And in a contest for a religious group versus America -- or anything versus America -- I'll come out swinging for America.

So yes; once we rid ourselves of the Muslim president now in office, I think it would be a good idea to make sure it never happens again.

But then, we all want things we know we can't have.

Q. What is your favorite joke to tell others?

A. If we don't count the one about Napoleon keeping his armies up his sleevies -- which technically is more a play on words than a joke, but which nevertheless always makes me laugh -- it would be the one about the talking dog:

A man was taking a walk one day, just going down the sidewalk, whistling or what have you, when he noticed a sign in the yard of a small, unimpressive house. The sign held only three words and one digit, but its message stopped the man in his tracks:

Talking Dog 4 Sale

He stared at the sign for a while, then, although he had no need for a dog, talking or otherwise, the man decided to investigate. He approached the house and knocked on the door. Presently he heard steps, and what sounded like a muted bark. The door opened. There before him stood a heavyset man wearing blue jeans, a t-shirt, and a Chicago Cubs baseball cap. A medium-sized, nondescript hound sat beside him.

The visitor stared, then stammered. "Uhm ... I was just wondering about your sign out front?"

"Yeah," said the homeowner.

"Uhm ... is this the dog that's for sale?" He pointed to the hound dog, who yawned.

The owner did not answer, but the dog struggled tiredly to his feet.

"Yeah, that would be me," he said in plain English with a slight British accent. "I'm a little jet-lagged because I just got home from the UK where I've been for the past six months, helping out with an important investigation at the Yard. Before that I was with Interpol for about a year, helping bring down a South American drug cartel. I'm due to be shipped out to Afghanistan in a few days, to lend my considerable expertise to the US and its allies in the war on terror. And then there's the lecture circuit, which keeps me worn out more or less twenty-four seven, three sixty-five, don't ya know."

The man was dumbfounded; could this be a trick? But no; he had heard the dog speak. Clearly. Visions of fame and fortune whirled in his head. Could he possibly afford to buy this animal? Why would the dog's owner sell him? He must want a great deal of money! Would he consider layaway? It wouldn't hurt to ask.

So he asked. "Uhm, say ... h-how much are you hoping to get for this dog?"

The homeowner removed his baseball cap, scratched his head, and put the cap back on. "He ain't nothin' but a mutt; I figure five bucks'll do it."

"Uhm ... F-F-FIVE DOLLARS? But he can TALK! Why only five dollars?"

The dog's owner scoffed: "Because he's nothin' but a great big liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Q. What do you see as the most dangerous thing the Obama administration has done while in office?

A. Display relentless contempt for America and our way of life as established by our Constitution and our laws, and as envisioned by our Founding Fathers.

Q. What advice would you give the Republican National leadership, assuming they might actually listen?

A. I would advise them to disband. They are worthless. Past that I don't know, except I want to point out that I am not a libertarian.

I am a rock-ribbed, dyed-in-the-wool, card-carrying conservative. A rightwing nutjob, as it were. A bitter clinger with all the term implies. An unapologetic believer in limited government, a strong military, an armed citizenry, free market capitalism, and American exceptionalism.

The only leadership that will truly help America is old-fashioned conservative leadership. That would mean people who embrace and promote morality as well as all other tenets of the traditional Judeo-Christian ethic.

I know, right? Pipe dream.

Q. Should toilet paper be hanging forward or backward?

A. I recoil from this type of question but I will simply say: forward.

Q. Rock-N-Roll or Blues and why?

A. Neither, but if I had to pick one, it would be Blues. As I opined live on a radio station on the night John Lennon was killed in December of 1980, rock and roll music has never helped anyone. The lifestyle it advocates and perpetuates is one of immorality, humanism, carnality, godlessness, alcohol consumption, and substance abuse.

Wait. That sounds just like the Obama Administration and the Democratic Party at small.

However I will say, there is some gentler rock and roll music that I like and always have liked. The more innocent kind, like from the early '60s before the drug culture got underway.

When I was a little kid far, far away in a distant galaxy.

For example, I think this is cute. I was on the couch in my pajamas watching Ed Sullivan on February 9, 1964, when it happened live:

But it was all downhill from there.

Q. Where do you see race relations and religious freedom headed in the next few years in the United States? 

A. Further into koo-koo land where we have been led by the current regime. Religious freedoms -- along with the rest of our freedoms -- will be removed piecemeal until there are none left.

Minorities will play the victim as long as there is a race hustler to whip them into a frenzy with half-truths and outright lies and promises of free stuff in the name of reparations for imagined wrongs.

White guilt -- promoted most zealously by white liberals -- is already de rigueur. They won't stop until it's basically illegal to be white. 

Oh wait. It will be illegal to be white and conservative. Throw in Christian and you're not only going to be toast, but toast burnt black.

None of it will make us happy, happy, happy crackas.

The only good news is, the Lord offers eternal life as a free gift, and He is returning for His bride: those of every color, race, creed, and nationality who have trusted Him and Him alone for the salvation of their soul.

As the song says: Only the redeemed will hear His voice on that day.

There is hope but it will require humility and faith, and rejection of the God-hating world system. As to that last part, having Alzheimer's may actually help.

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I follow several bloggers and they have all influenced me as well as, I am sure, many others.

While I would like to nominate them all for this award because each one deserves it, I firmly believe that to honor all is to honor none.

Therefore I am nominating a single blogger to receive this award from me: Irene of Irene's Desk.

She is a delightfully original blogger and a many-talented lady who has been a precious friend to me although we have never met.

Here are my questions for dear Irene:

1. What is the first book you remember reading that had a life-changing impact on you?

2. If your house were on fire and your family were safe and you had time to leave behind only one thing, what would that one thing be?

3. Dogs or cats, and why? Or if it's ferrets, tell us about it.

4. If you had to lose either your sight or your hearing, which one would you rather do without, and why?

5. What is your most vivid memory from when you were a child of five or younger?

6. For you as an artist, what is the most frustrating aspect of the creative process? 

7. If you had a choice between being twenty-five again (but not knowing all you know now) or an afternoon of tea, cake, and conversation with me, which would you pick? This is not a trick question. The kind of cake would be up to you.

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If you are able to spot the sarcasm in this blog post, you get extra points.

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Happy Monday ~ Happy Week

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