I'll fly away ... again

This grave is no longer marked; like Bird himself, it was temporary

I owe you a post about the continuing saga of our Oklahoma trip, but I'm saving it for later in the week. 

While looking for something else on my blog today, I found this post from March of 2015 and made an executive decision to play a rerun.

It's not so much that I think it's such a great post, as that I thought you who were not familiar with my blog all those years ago, might enjoy reading it.

It sort of ties in with our current theme of flying: as in, I will never fly again and neither will Bird. We'll leave all of that to Andrew and his fellow pilots, and others who enjoy availing themselves of both private and commercial aviation.

(TBH I had forgotten all about Bird. I'm glad I was reminded, on this rainy almost-spring day, of his brief but beautiful existence.)

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I'll Fly Away :: March 2, 2015

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I have another bird story for you. More recent and just as poignant as the last. Knock on wood.

It all started on Friday when Erica dropped by for a short visit. As she was leaving, we noticed a bird flapping around near the ceiling of the garage.

It looks like a woodpecker, I said. Not your classic Woody look, but although I'm no stripe of an ornithologist -- I can barely spell that -- something about him spoke woodpecker to me.

And recently, we have heard the rapid drilling sound of woodpeckers in our neighborhood which is replete with thousands of the longleaf pines favored by the species.

(I even mentioned it to Dagny as we strolled outside one day: A woodpecker's loud activity sounded in the distance and I asked her if she heard it. Pre-verbal as Dagny may be, I believe she did.)

This happens from time to time: A bird flies into our two-car garage and, despite the single massive door being open, wide open, the outdoors beckoning only feet away, the bird cannot figure out how to escape.

They fly frantically from high shelves to a windowsill to the door opener, refusing to go down a few inches and out to freedom.

You can't talk reason into them either. Believe me; I have tried. They do not listen. Catching them is also out of the question. You can't get close enough to salt the tail.

A sweeter, braver bird you never saw

So it was that on Friday, after Erica left, I closed and opened the garage door a few times, hoping that Bird would pay attention, read the memo, and fly out.

He didn't.

Then I decided to open the back door to the garage, which pass-through leads to our pool area.

My thinking was, there will be a cross draft and he will sense that, and he will see that there is not one, but two routes of egress to his sky and his trees, his nest and his loved ones, food and water.

I got busy then, with supper and whatnot, and TG came home, and I don't know why -- because I routinely begin spinning yarns the moment I see TG at the end of the day -- but I did not mention Bird.

Later I noticed that both the garage door and the back entrance were closed. I opened the door from the kitchen into the garage and looked all around for Bird.

Not seeing him, I assumed he'd seen the light and resumed his normal avian lifestyle. Checked out with as little fuss as he'd checked in.

On Saturday morning I was home alone and in a different part of the house than the kitchen, when I heard a scratching noise coming from that direction.

He'd fallen on hard times

I knew it wasn't Javier because he was spending the weekend with Erica.

The noise was loud enough that I went looking for what might have been the source. I found nothing to explain it.

In the early afternoon Audrey and Dagny dropped by. Having opened the garage door using the outdoor keypad and entered the house through the kitchen, Audrey said: There's something out here that you need to see.

I trotted up there and what do you think I saw? Bird.

He had wedged himself into the corner of the threshold at the kitchen door, and had fluffed his lovely shining white-speckled black feathers all out and hidden his beautiful little red-tufted head in their depths.

Audrey thought he was being cute but she didn't know the story. I knew he was in trouble. Listing near to the scuppers, as it were.

I ran for my kitchen gloves and put them on my hands. I lifted Bird from the cold drafty threshold. He was still alive but he did not resist.

Out in the sunshine, Bird perched on my gloved fingers and became very alert. He seemed to enjoy the cool breeze in his feathers. I sent Audrey back inside for my camera.

Baptized with love and care

Dagny, secure in her mother's arms, was speechless the whole time. All eyes.

Speaking of eyes, Bird's were bright. He looked all around, like he truly cared.

A hope sprang up in me that Bird would be okay; that he would take a breather then recover, spread his wings and fly from the gloves, merge onto the sunshine road, find a fast food joint, have a meal, resume his Bird Life.

But he didn't. Eventually I set him down gently onto the driveway. Once there, he appeared disheveled, despondent, listless.

I picked him back up again. Don't judge. Do not judge me. I was doing the best I could. In college I studied not birds, but English and History. And that was a long time ago.

We toted Bird out by the pool where there is a pan of water that's kept fresh for Javier.

I put Bird on the edge of the pan so maybe he could drink, because surely he was dehydrated. He clung there, stiff and awkward, striving unsuccessfully to gain is bearings. Then he flopped off.

I picked him up again and my plan was to carry him out to the part of the yard beyond a low retaining wall, where there was foliage and maybe he would have the strength to eat an insect which I hoped would be available.

All good things must come to an end

But by the time I reached the wall and was looking for an appropriate spot to set Bird down, he expired.

He up and died! His feet curled like spidery fists and his eyes went dim and he was so still, I just knew.

I laid him out carefully on the retaining wall and although the sun shone bright on his still wings, it was cold.

Audrey and I talked about how we were glad to have been with Bird when he passed.

At least he wasn't alone, she said. Then: I have to put this kid down; my arms are breaking.

We all went inside. I got online and in no time had pegged the departed Bird as a red-cockaded woodpecker.

Later I fixed Bird up in a coffin lined with cotton. The black and silver box, which once held jewelry less pretty than Bird, had a hinged lid just like a real coffin.

I propped it open with a stick from one of the longleaf pines favored by the likes of Bird.

A coffin worthy of a splendid bird

I viewed him briefly, admiring all he'd once been, and paid my respects.

Then, using an old serving spoon from the kitchen drawer, I dug him a grave in the soft reddish earth just beyond the retaining wall.

The stick was removed, the coffin lid closed. I placed it just so in the grave, then spooned the dirt back over Bird.

Using two more pine sticks and some green duct tape, I fashioned him a clumsy cross and made a sign: Bird.

I marked his spot and if you are still reading I am going to confess to you, I mourned Bird's passing.

The late winter sunset flamed the sky by then, glowing with the urgency befitting something with so little time to exist before the final fade.

I took a picture of that as I turned to go inside.

Another February was dying.

The sky offered its own condolences

Later, a cold dismal rain fell on Bird's grave and I thought about that a lot, wishing things could have been different for Bird.

He was a good bird, a perfect and wonderful bird. I'm sorry he got trapped in our garage.

But: Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. (Matthew 10:29)

God knew. He cared about Bird, His own creation, even more than I ever could.

His is a perfect plan, for all of creation.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Wednesday

Comments

[Lori]

Even though I've been patiently waiting to hear about the rest of your trip this post was amazing. What a beautiful bird. I'm so sorry that he got himself caught in your garage but yes I totally agree at least he didn't die alone.
How wonderful of you to give him a proper burial. It's nice to hear someone that cares so much about wildlife and nature.
Have a wonderful day!!

[NanaDiana]

Awww...that makes my heart hurt. So sad to lose such a beautiful little bird. You did him proud though and I am glad you were there when he passed. Poor thing. I would have shed a tear or two, I'm sure. xo Diana

[Donna in Texas]

Oh my word!! Tears here!! How sad for you…and Bird.
But I’m glad he went to fly around the halls of God’s House…as I pray, we all do…
A sweet post Miss Jenny…
Hughugs
Donna

[Mari-Nanci]

Lovely...... And heart breaking.......

Gentle hugs,
Mari-Nanci

[Carla TePaske]

I am new to your blog Jenny, and I must say I am so happy you made the executive decision to share this post again with us.
As always your writing makes me smile. I love how you share a story.

Thank you for the prayers for Sam. His heart is broke about society in general, the theft did not help.

Trusting the wisdom of our Captain.. who remains at the helm. Amen!!

[Jennifer]

@Lori ... I can't stand to see them die -- not a bird nor a squirrel or anything little! The only thing I hate is insects, haaahaha! I have no compassion for them, although TG says I should because many of them eat other insects ... but that's just too slow for me.. xoxo

@Diana ... I know that you would have shed those tears with me! xoxo

@Donna ... Amen my sister! xoxo

@Mari-Nanci ... Funny but it was just as heartbreaking to me to read again after all these years, as it was when it happened. Birds don't live very long in the best of circumstances! It's good that there are so many of them. xoxo

@Carla ... Awww, thank you my friend. That means a lot to me. And yes I have prayed for Sam, who has been wronged and whom God will avenge! In His own way, and in His own time. I am so glad that there are young men like your Sam and my Andrew, who care enough to want to make a difference. God bless them ... and their mothers, haaha xoxo

[Bijoux]

You are so clever with the never flying again theme! Haha…..but yes, it’s sad to see a dead bird. We’ve had issues with birds building nests on top of our garage door opener when we’ve left the door up.I think they like the heat of the lightbulb. And there are always the ones who fly into the windows, despite us putting various props inside to scare them away. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve used! Lol!

Have a great rest of your week!

[Jennifer]

@Bijoux ... all of that has happened to us too! The main one though, is birds nesting in door wreaths and laying their eggs. Now I put something bright and shiny in the wreath because they hate that! Once we had some and I had taken my mom and one of the girls out onto the porch to see them. We closed the door behind us and the mother bird (I think) flew out and into the street and was instantly run over by a car! We just looked at one another in astonishment. I felt guilty for weeks. xoxo

[Mari]

I remember the first time you posted this. I was touched then and I'm touched now. I'm glad you were with him when he passed. That verse really speaks of our Fathers love!

[Jennifer]

@Mari ... Isn't it amazing? No creature or problem is too small for His notice and His caring. xoxo

[Ginny Hartzler]

Oh my. I'm so glad he chose your home to die, rather than somewhere else. You are awesome!!! We are birdwatchers, 'nuff said...

[betty]

Such a beautiful bird, Bird was. I truly had hoped he had flown out of the garage. I was shocked to see where he had planted himself so to speak, but your gentle kindness to him and the care you gave him for that brief time speak volumes of the type of person you are, Jenny. Truly I'm not sure I could have done such a thing for him. So true how our Beloved Lord has each and every creature past and present in His care and truly cares for each of them. This was so very poignant. I am so glad you shared this again for us new readers!! Wow I didn't realize you had been blogging for years really. I'll have to go back and read your earlier entries!!

betty

[Jeanette]

AwwwI I loved this post! Last year when I tried to save a sparrow that had been attacked by a bigger bird it died in my hand. I buried it under our pine tree and have to admit, I felt bad for the rest of the day! It's hard to see one of God's beautiful creatures die. but good to know they're in his hands.!
P.S. You've given me some ideas to repost some of my favorite posts that I did back when I only had a few readers.

[Jennifer]

@Ginny ... 'nuff said, indeed. I get you! And I'm not surprised what with your beautiful sky shots! xoxo

@betty ... Oh my friend I am sure you would have done all that I did, and more. I really don't know anything about birds except that they're beautiful and I love them, so I hope that nothing I did hastened his death. And yes we know the Lord does see and He cares! Yes I've been at it for fifteen years, haaha! Lots to say. xoxo

@Jeanette ... I feel you! It's hard to see them die when they seem so defenseless, although we know that God has given the little creatures everything they need to succeed in His plan, and then He watches over them into the bargain. Yes do repost! Every once in a while it's a great idea! xoxo