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T h i s T e r r a ' s E x t r a F i r m a
Elmwood Cemetery
Columbia, South Carolina
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I hardly suppose I know anybody who wouldn't rather
be a success than a failure,
Just as I suppose every piece of crabgrass in the garden
would much rather be an azalea,
And in celestial circles all the run-of-the-mill angels
would rather be archangels
or at least cherubim and seraphim,
And in the legal world all the little process-servers
hope to grow up into great big bailiffim and sheriffim.
Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow,
But not everybody knows exactly how.
Some people think they will eventually wear diamonds
instead of rhinestones
Only by everlastingly keeping their noses
to their ghrinestones.
And other people think they will be able to put in more time
at Palm Beach and the Ritz
By not paying too much attention to attendance at the office
but rather in being brilliant by starts and fits.
Some people after a full day's work sit up all night
getting a college education by correspondence,
While others seem to think they'll get just as far
by devoting their evenings to the study of the difference
in temperament between brunettance and blondance.
Some stake their all on luck,
And others put their faith in their ability to pass the buck.
In short, the world is filled with people trying to achieve success,
And half of them think they'll get it by saying No
and half of them by saying Yes,
And if all the ones who say No said Yes, and vice versa,
such is the fate of humanity that ninety-nine
per cent of them still wouldn't be any better off
than they were before.
Which perhaps is just as well
because if everybody was a success
nobody could be contemptuous of anybody else
and everybody would start in all over again
trying to be a bigger success than everybody else
so they would have somebody to be contemptuous of
and so on forevermore,
Because when people start hitching their wagons to a star,
That's the way they are.
> Ogden Nash <
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Happy Thursday