That's how he became The Nanny
You'll be happy to know I'm finally putting up a post that does not feature a recent photo of Captain Adorable.
Oops! Sorry. I don't know how that happened.
Shall we begin again.
So I'm minding my own business a couple of weeks ago when I get this email.
It was from a dear friend, a young mother and businesswoman who is relatively active in politics at the grassroots level.
My friend requested that I consider signing an online petition regarding an ordinance up for imminent vote by the Lexington County Council, all of whom are Republicans.
(And one is a gravedigger! Surely he can be trusted to get to the bottom of things.)
Said proposed legislation had been dubbed the "property police" ordinance.
If enacted, it would give local lawmakers the authority to levy stiff fines and even impose jail time on homeowners who, among other things, allow their grass to get a tenth of an inch too tall or their pools to be less than sparkling, even in what passes for wintertime around here.
Of course I signed the petition. Then I decided to send a prodding email to each of the eight Council members. To use the shotgun approach, as it were.
My message was short and to the point: Please do not support the proposed property police ordinance, and it would be reprehensible if you and your fellow Council members exempted yourselves from such a law.
I got several replies, including one from Brad Matthews, who I believed to be the Council person for our address.
He wrote:
Jennifer,
Thank you for your email. Council is looking to adopt a property maintenance ordinance for the high density unincorporated area of the county. Similar to what cayce west columbia irmo and other municipalities have. Any law passed will effect council members, I have no idea who sent you that email but they are either intentionally misleading or just flat out wrong. The current ordinance deals with grass height, which may be amended or deleted all together, storage units, simply saying unless your in construction or moving or something like that you can't keep a storage unit in your front yard for more than 60 days. The accumulation of debris in yards, and pools that become health hazards. Did the email you receive include a copy of the ordinance? Or a copy of the map it would effect. Have you had a chance to read it? I can get a copy to you if you wish. I constantly get calls about abandoned or unkempt property and the neighbors feel like they are losing their property values because of the status and blight these homes are causing. When I ran and was going door to door this was an issue I constantly was asked about. The people in my district have asked me overwhelmingly to support this and that is what I will do. I hope I answered your questions, if not email me and I'll try to address them. I hope you have a good weekend.
Brad Matthews
Lexington County Council
Sent from my iPhone
If you actually took the time to read that, some of you who know me already sense where this is headed. But wait for it.
I replied:
Dear Brad,
No, I have not seen a copy of the ordinance and I would like to.
So you're saying it's an outright lie that Council members would be exempt from the ordinance were it to pass? Because that is what is being said, and if it's not true I'd like to know why anyone would say that. It's not as if this kind of inequity is unprecedented; Congress does it all the time.
And you didn't tell me how the ordinance deals with how clear I may keep my pool year round. Your sentence fragment "The accumulation of debris in yards, and pools that become health hazards." makes little sense and does not answer my question.
Also with all due respect (and I mean that), you need to learn the difference between the words "effect" and "affect." You used the word "effect" incorrectly twice in your email. Also "your" does not mean "you are" as you used it. Sorry to point this out but it is very disappointing to me that an elected official such as yourself has no greater command of the English language than that. These are usage distinctions children are supposed to learn in grade school.
Again, I don't mean to be rude but I get so tired of the "dumbing down" of everything and simply would hope that someone holding public office would know the difference between "your" and "you're."
As well, you should study the rules of capitalization -- especially as they apply to proper names such as towns and communities like Irmo, West Columbia, and Cayce. It's important.
And I'd say all of the above even if I were not utterly disappointed in your intention to support this ordinance, which I am. I'll make sure to vote against you next time you run.
As to property values, they are "down" overwhelmingly because of the policies of liberal Democrats in Washington, their out-of-control spending, and their pandering to minorities who can't get enough entitlements paid for out of the pockets of people who actually work. It's not because local government hasn't been measuring our grass or monitoring our pool water. Perhaps next time you go door to door, you could point that out to people. We need fewer laws, not more laws.
I'd appreciate both an answer to my question about how the pool water issue would potentially affect me, and a copy of the proposed ordinance. Also I'd like to know when the vote is taking place.
Thank you.
Jennifer Weber
Mr. Matthews responded:
Jennifer,
I'm sorry that you got so frustrated on my last email. I was typing it on my phone. Let me assure you, I know the difference between effect(something that is produced by a cause of something and is mostly used as a noun)and affect(in the usage as a verb means to act on) both words share the synonym influence. I also know how to capitalize cities, and all other nouns that require capitalization. Also, (notice the comma for pause) I know the difference between your and you're which one requires an apostrophe and when to use it. I was simply trying to respond to you as quickly as possible. Seeing as to how you are not in my district you will not have to worry about that anymore. Grammar aside, I agree with you mostly on the liberal policies destroying any quick chance of recovery our country could have had. President Obama is an absolute disgrace to our country. I disagree if you don't think a home with all of their (I believe that is the appropriate spelling-as in they have possession)garbage on the front yard and a storage unit doesn't impact the house across the street in a negative manner. It does. I also believe in how the Cato Institute describes property rights as being self-limiting, as in my personal property rights ends where your personal property rights begin and vice versa. If you disagree I sincerely respect your opinion. Instead of me trying to type the rest of this out on my phone, I will send you a copy of the ordinance and you can read it for yourself when I get to my computer. That should answer your other questions. If you have others please contact your County Council Member. For the record, I am saying it is an outright lie that County Council Members would be exempt from the enforcement of this ordinance. I hope your weekend is great.
Brad Matthews
Sent from my iPhone
What a firebrand! Truly dangerous with that iPhone, and rude to a constituent (because as it turns out, our house IS in his district) into the bargain. But at least he knows President Obama is a disgrace.
Even so I couldn't let him get away with that attitude:
Wow ... you're a real smart-aleck, aren't you? Disrespectful to a taxpayer, a voter who may or may not be in your district -- which by the way is difficult to tell because of where I live and where the lines are drawn on the map.
But I don't guess you'll be worrying about that now, will you? All that concerns you is defending carelessness in your language habits and being haughty when you're called on it, like nobody should ever have the nerve to bother.
So you KNOW the difference between affect and effect, your and you're, and how to capitalize proper nouns; you just don't think it's necessary to do so because you're on your phone, or because you think I might need an answer so quickly as to negate the necessity of proper spelling, grammar, and usage?
As my husband pointed out, there are likely ordinances already on the books that prohibit and control all of the things you are citing as the reason to add even more control and laws. Why don't you look into that instead of getting on the bandwagon for yet more government intrusion into the rights of property owners? Just a thought.
If I was misinformed about Council members being exempt from the ordinance, I stand corrected. I already wrote to the person who sent me the petition and told her to do a fact check. But rather than take your word for it, I'll be doing some fact checking of my own.
I hope your weekend is great too, and that your term is short.
Please don't bother responding with more sarcasm and defensiveness. Arrogant politicians are something I just don't have the stomach for anymore.
Jennifer Weber
To his credit, Mr. Matthews located his manners in the nick of time and answered:
Mrs. Weber,
I am sorry. You are correct. I should have been more aware of the way I respond to emails. I should have not been sarcastic to you in any way. I apologize for being disrespectful to you. I mean that. I actually live across the road from you and will come apologize face-to-face if you will allow it. I will get a copy of the ordinance to you as soon as I can. Have a great weekend.
Brad Matthews
Sent from my iPhone
See how civil we are down here in Dixie?
Within a few minutes Brad sent me a copy of the ordinance. I wrote:
Dear Brad,
Thanks for that; I do appreciate it and I will study it. Thank you too for your kind apology, which I accept.
Although I would very much enjoy meeting and talking with you in person, unfortunately it will have to wait. Our third grandchild is expected this week and I'll be heading up to North Carolina tomorrow to spend several days with our daughter and her family.
Again thank you for your attention to this matter.
Jennifer Weber
And then I went out of town because I had fish to fry north of here.
And I would have studied that ordinance this week, except yesterday I received another email about it.
The message conveyed the happy news that the Lexington County Council met on February 27th and, although voting on the property police ordinance was not on their agenda until late March, Mr. Matthews suggested they go ahead and vote.
Because of what has been termed "constituent outcry," the measure was defeated seven to one.
Mr. Matthews cast the sole "yea" vote.
The voice of the citizenry was heard clear as my pool water on a day in mid-summer.
And to Mr. Matthews as a consolation prize? His own personal copy of The Elements of Style, with my compliments.
Meanwhile, perhaps it's still America for the time being. At least until more overreaching Nanny State legislation rears its ugly head.
Always, always vote. And get involved. That is all.