Bake news

They look good and they smell good because they are good

This won't appeal to everyone.

I don't claim that the information contained in this post is earth-shattering or mind-boggling or spine-tingling or heart-stopping or anything like that.

But it is something that for some, will be nice to know.

I speak of the recipe for a four-ingredient low-carb oatmeal cookie.

And none of the ingredients are almond flour.

It's primarily for those who make a habit of eating as low-carb as possible. And it could be helpful for those who adhere to a gluten-free diet. And for those who, like the pirate, despise almond flour but love cookies.

Even if you rarely give a thought to things like carbs and gluten, and thus have no interest in the subject, this recipe is still insanely easy, and it is truly healthy, and thus may be something you'd like to try.

Or at least, pass the information along to someone who may need it.

I saw the recipe on Instagram on a recent afternoon when I picked up my phone and checked in for about five minutes.

(Generally my limit with social media, haha.)

Brittany's Instagram reel of Ember helping to make the cookies

Within ten minutes of viewing the recipe, I was in the kitchen whipping up a batch of these.

There are four ingredients: bananas, rolled oats, peanut butter, and semisweet chocolate chips.

(I keep frozen bananas on hand for smoothies, and they work fine. Just thaw them for thirty seconds in the microwave. And this is a great way to use up overripe bananas if you happen to have some on hand.)

If you'd like, you may want to add a fifth ingredient to the original four -- craisins or raisins or shredded coconut are nice.

But no flour, no sugar, no eggs, no butter, no baking powder. Leave all of that stuff in the fridge and on the shelf.

Set your oven to three-fifty and put those four (or five) ingredients into a bowl and mix them up.

Use your cookie scoop to distribute the mixture onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

The cookies will not change shape during baking, so flatten the scooped mounds of dough with your fingers.

Bake for ten to twenty minutes, depending on the feistiness of your oven. The cookies should be browned nicely.

Remove them to a cooling rack.

And that's it. 

Four simple ingredients. Maybe five. Imagine that you see bananas.

Technically this is not a particularly low-carb treat; bananas and oats contain plenty of carbs, and so do semisweet chocolate chips, and certainly craisins and raisins and coconut are brimming with natural sugar.

But compared with regular cookies, the ingredients used to make this cookie have a relatively low glycemic index. The win-win is that they're good without spiking the blood sugar like your average homemade or store-bought cookie will do.

Now I must say, when TG tasted one of these cookies for the first time, he opined that it did not have much flavor.

In fact, he said that the only thing he tasted was banana.

(He did add, however, that he would eat some of these whenever I made them.)

But I shared this recipe with my girls, and two of them have made the cookies, and they love them. And incidentally, I can taste all four of the ingredients.

So I think they're wonderful and I've made them twice now. They're satisfying when you need just a little something.

Brittany made an Instagram reel of herself and Ember making the cookies. You can watch it above but unfortunately you can't hear the cute song. I would have posted a link but her account is private.

Oh and try not to flip out from the ought-to-be-illegal cuteness level of my granddaughter.

Maybe you've heard of these cookies already, and said nah, not for me, or maybe you've even tried them and agree with TG that they have no taste.

They're convincing when displayed on the cake stand

But I promised to share this potentially life-changing recipe with you, so that's what I've done.

Let me know if you make the cookies, and whether you like them or love them, or if the jury's still out.

And that is all for now except to say, have a great weekend.

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Happy Thursday

Bake it to make it

Of the two that we made, this one looked the best

I was so taken with a post of Mari's recently, that I decided to copy it emulate her.

She is, after all, a world-class grandmother (among other equally stellar attributes).

I speak of the time she made baked clay necklaces with her grandgirlies.

I had to buy only a few extra supplies

Dagny was coming over last Thursday and I knew she would love doing this, so on the day before, I made preparations.

This involved a trip to Hobby Lobby, where I bought bake-able polymer clay, a package of jump rings, two tiny rubber stamps, and an assortment of mini inking pads.

Dagny loved working with the clay

I had everything else I needed already at home: parchment paper, a collection of small cookie cutters (although it took me a while to find them), toothpicks, several colors of waxed linen cord, and lots of beads.

And of course, an oven.

I told Audrey to make sure that Dagny brought along her new Rainbow Loom for making bracelets out of tiny multicolored rubber bands, so that we could do that too.

The Rainbow Loom ... for all ages

This was just going to be a big old craft day.

(The loom was a gift from Mari herself, sent promptly as a get-well present when Dagny broke her leg at the end of June.)

Turns out that both Audrey and Erica had already tried to help Dagny make a bracelet, but had become bumfuzzled at one point and given up.

She was busy pressing ink right into the rolling pin

I was confident that I could get them all over the hump.

Haha. I thank you not to snicker.

Well anyway ... let's talk about the clay-baking craft first. To make necklaces.

The light colors did not make the bold statement she was looking for

First we assembled our supplies on the table: the clay, the cookie cutters, the rubber stamps, the little inking pads, the waxed linen cord, a toothpick, the jump rings, and two rolling pins -- one plain, and one embossed with a design.

I also grabbed a few of my bead boxes (my spin on the project, since I like to inject beads whenever and wherever I can), and my needle-nose pliers.

It's how we roll

I broke off a chunk of the clay and gave it to Dagny to start pounding on and rolling out.

While she did that, I set the oven to 175 degrees (as specified on the package of clay).

It was really easy. After the clay was rolled out, I showed Dagny how to ink a stamp and make an impression. I did the first one and she did the second one.

This project was at least twenty-five percent trial and error

Then we chose a shape for her necklaces and I pressed out the first two, using a round cookie cutter.

Brandishing the toothpick, I made a hole in the top of each clay disc.

I popped them into the oven on a tiny tray lined with parchment.

This was the shade of blue that changed everything

They baked for about twenty-five minutes, and I took them out.

In no time, they were cool and hard enough to work with.

Meanwhile, Dagny was playing with the clay and pressing out more and more shapes.

Dagny was riveted by the possibilities in the clay

I showed her how to ink the embossed rolling pin with one of the inkpads, and roll out a fancy design in the color of her choice.

She chose blue, and soon the remaining clay had turned a shade much lighter than the ink color, but still blue. It was an unusual blue, very beautiful.

Dagny continued to roll out the blue clay and press shapes using the tiniest of the already tiny cookie cutters.

She had lots of colors to choose from

She did it so many times that in the end, there was an infinitesimal heart and only a pea-sized piece of clay left over.

Dagny put a hole in the wee blue heart, which for some reason was (or became, in the process) misshapen. It looked like Ember had done it. We laughed about that.

Then we put all of those shapes into the oven to bake, and I went to work turning the first two discs into necklaces.

I should put her to work making fancy cookies

Simples. Am I right?

Well, maybe for you. But I managed to break the first one while trying to get the jump ring closed.

I hate attaching the jump ring! Aaaarrrrrggghhhhhh!

The last blue heart was on the small side

Ugh. We had one disc left intact, and I managed to get it put together, embellishing the cord on either side of the jump ring with a few seed beads.

I think Dagny wanted the necklace to hang maybe a few fingers-width below her collarbone, but since I was using cord and not chain, I had to tie it off and it needed to be big enough to go over her head.

Success proved elusive on the first try

That made it a longer pendant, but still pretty, and I told her that I knew Erica had some chain that could be used to make her remaining designs into shorter necklaces.

We ended up completing two pieces, and I must say that the second one, with the embossed design rolled into the blue clay and cut into a flower shape, turned out prettier than either of us expected.

We turned our attentions to the Rainbow Loom project

Dagny seemed to approve of our results, so we cleaned up all of the necklace making paraphernalia and turned the oven off and got out the Rainbow Loom.

Part Two of Craft Day, as it were.

Using the printed instructions and eyeballing the part of a bracelet that Dagny and Audrey and Erica had already made, I soon became so confused that we decided to start over.

I was the helper while Dagny was the looper

Audrey had mentioned YouTube as a source for more detailed instructions together with some virtual hand-holding, and I took her up on that excellent idea.

We soon found a video of a lady making a simple bracelet with a Rainbow Loom.

Clearing off the loom and organizing our rubber bands into colors, we began. I started it but Dagny placed all but a few of the bands for the first part of the design, onto the loom.

The next step beyond the triangles threw us

Then came the hard part, where you use the hook to drag certain strands out and pull them around and hook them onto another post, being careful to bring out the right ones and attach them just so, and ...

Well. I tried but maybe I was tired by then and maybe it was sweltering in the kitchen (I forgot to add, we could have baked those clay necklaces out on the sidewalk, had we been so inclined, it was that hot outside), but I developed a sizable case of the yips and had to give up.

Dagny was glad to close the lid on that until she got better help

I texted a link for the helpful YouTube video to both Audrey and Erica. Here, I said. You're going to need this.

Then I added: I did the hard part for you. Laughing face emoji.

Dagny and I boxed up the Rainbow Loom with the partially completed second bracelet still in place, hoping that someone -- or two someones, working together -- smarter than either of us will be able to finish it.

I see now that we could have made a better impression

I should say here that I'm glad that one of the crafts was easy enough that I could see it through.

And I'm also glad that the other craft is hard enough to be a challenge for Dagny. And her mother. And her aunt. It will develop their characters.

Dagny wearing one of the necklaces

As for me, the next thing I baked was edible and turned out pretty great. I'll be sharing that with you later in the week.

And that is all for now except to say, it's time for me to go swimming.

Stay cool and be sweet, my friends.

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Happy Monday :: Happy August

Meet Mister ONEderful

Come for the sparkling blue eyes and stay for the adorable two-toothed smile

Oh what a time we had over the weekend.

Rhett had his second of two birthday parties at our house on Saturday.

It was an all-day event.

I remember taking this newborn picture

His first party took place the night before, at his other grandparents' house. He was celebrated in grand style there, with a meal and presents and his own little cake.

Then a sleep, then his actual birthday: second verse, same as the first.

It was a hot, sunny day, perfect for swimming but not for being outside for much else.

We were prepared to party

I'd done most of my part of the cooking in advance.

Starting after supper on Friday, I made seven-layer salad, pineapple baked beans (just like the apple pie baked beans served for our Fourth of July party, but with pineapple tidbits), deviled eggs, and Oopsie Bread for those who wanted a low-carb burger bun option.

Ice-cold watermelon was on the menu

Everyone began arriving around noon. Our Stephanie could not come in person as she had other relatives visiting, although she did attend via FaceTime twice during the day.

We are still missing Andrew and Brittany and Ember in Oklahoma, although their time there is swiftly coming to a close. They've bought a house in East Tennessee and Brittany will be there for a few weeks in late August, setting up housekeeping.

I took the nine-month photo and his other grandmother took the ten-month

She and Ember will return to Oklahoma to be with Andrew then, but by Christmas they should all be back in our time zone and close enough for us to visit whenever we want.

Of course, thoughtful as ever, they had sent a gift for Rhett.

But first, before gifts, we had a feast.

Obligatory at southern repasts: deviled eggs

Erica had covered all of her bases and then some, when it came to decorating for her baby's first birthday.

She'd put together an adorable banner featuring a picture from each month of his life, plus a newborn shot.

There were balloons and cupcakes, a festive backdrop, and props of giant blocks spelling O-N-E.

At Chad's parents' house, during Rhett's first party. Photo courtesy Erica Porter.

Our meal consisted of burgers and brats done on the grill by TG and Chad, plus the aforementioned seven-layer salad and pineapple barbecue beans and deviled eggs. On the day, I made a small baked macaroni and cheese, and cut up watermelon into triangles.

Seven-layer salad is a favorite of TG's. That's bacon on top.

Erica brought more vegetables for a colorful tray, with Ranch dressing for dipping.

It was impressive.

The presents accumulated at the far end of the table

The birthday boy was so tired from the ongoing festivities that, upon arrival at the venue, he had to be put down for a nap in my room.

We ate then, enjoying every morsel and one another's company.

After the meal was cleared off, Rhett woke up and was seated in his special little chair for his own dinner.

That's what I like to see: lots of colors on the plate

He lustily consumed his private repast and, as usual, did an excellent impersonation of a bottomless pit. There was milk in his sippy cup.

I made coffee and we decided that it was time to dig into the little cake Erica had made, with matching cupcakes.

First, Rhett got his serving of cake. Having already proved himself a world-class chow hound, he picked it up in fistfuls and shoved it in as though he had not eaten in a week.

Rhett has joined the chat

I'm pretty sure we enjoyed watching him eat that cake as much as he relished putting it away.

And no doubt he would have eaten more, but after two pieces, his mother cut him off.

After cleanup of the guest of honor, we repaired downstairs to the TV room, for presents.

Rhett certainly gets the party up on its feet

Erica had carried all of Rhett's gift bags and boxes down there and arrayed them, along with a few he'd already opened on Friday night.

That's when I went into the front room and retrieved his main gift from TG and me: a Little Tikes ride-on pirate ship.

TG had put it together ahead of time.

His witty gentleman-themed cupcakes were on display

I'm not just saying this: Rhett registered pure delight over that toy, from the moment he saw it. His daddy put him in the driver's seat and although his feet don't yet touch the floor (they soon will), he grinned when he was pushed along and right away got into the spirit of the thing.

He thrilled to the toy pirate in the crow's nest and immediately tasted it.

There is a button to push, causing piratey sounds to emanate from above the Jolly Roger sail.

This is how he looked for his first Christmas

It was a big hit and I thought, well now, that's a slam-dunk present for the first birthday of a pirate grandkid.

But he had so many other precious gifts! Toys and books and clothes and so forth and so on. The whole enchilada. Such fun.

Erica read aloud each of Rhett's cards before opening the gift they came with.

We don't have a birthday party in this house without the banner and the flamingo

She came to the present from Audrey and Dagny, and tore open the enclosed envelope.

Audrey had showed me the card beforehand, telling me that she paid more for it than she normally would, because she loved it so much.

She indicated that the card with its sweet message had grabbed her by the heart and failed to let go in time for her to pick a cheaper one.

This was not a smash cake, but it was smashing nonetheless

Erica began to read. By the third line, she had choked up and her voice would not work anymore.

I looked over at Audrey, whose face had crumpled into tears.

Tears sprang to my eyes. Erica handed the card to Chad.

This little baby has come a long way

He picked up reading the sentiment aloud where his wife had left off, but within half a dozen words, his voice stopped working too.

I think the only dry eyes in the room were Dagny's (although I'm not entirely sure about that) and Rhett's -- oblivious to the surfeit of emotion on his account, he kept playing with his toys, crawling enthusiastically from one to each of the others, then circling back.

Erica says she may hang this up in Rhett's room

Eventually we composed ourselves and continued with the party. I guess we're all a bunch of suckers for commercial greeting cards but what are you going to do?

After every gift had been opened and discussed and admired and shown to Rhett, the many new duds were stowed away and everyone decided that it was pool time.

Rhett sensed the mounting excitement as he played with one of his balloons

Our weather has been sweltering, scorching, so humid that it truly approaches being a bona fide phenomenon. It's impossible to enjoy it except in abundant shade (and then only for a few minutes) or in the pool.

The water is nearly ninety degrees.

Chad and Erica and TG and Rhett got in. Dagny sat poolside, in shade, with a special apparatus on her casted leg that allowed her to put both feet into the water.

The cake was brought forward in preparation for being served

How we are looking forward to that Labor Day swim, when she can once again splash and snorkel!

Next Monday she will be outfitted with her walking cast. A step in the right direction.

Rhett has a new floatie that is supposed to resemble a stingray, but it really just looks like a super-cute baby in an inflatable indefinable creature, with a canopy over his head. He loves it.

Ah! So THIS is what all of the fuss has been about!

The tiny craft positions him forward, so that his legs trail behind him. He's learned to kick them and make himself go. I wish you could see that.

I sat outside on the swing for a while, drinking an ice-cold A&W Zero Sugar Root Beer, but soon enough I retreated inside to be cooler.

Rhett took to his pirate ship like he'd been waiting for it all day

Eventually our guests began to talk about going home. (I must admit that I was glad to see the party winding down; I needed to sit quietly someplace where it was very cool.)

Everyone helped Erica and Chad dismantle the decorations and pack up all of their things.

Their SUV storage area was stuffed to the top like for a camping trip, minus the tent and mosquitoes.

The greatest gift on any birthday is love

Rhett, in his new front-facing car seat, fell asleep on the ride home and went straight to his crib upon arrival, to continue an exhausted late-day nap.

While he was snoozing, Erica arranged all of his new toys in the living room so that he could play with them as soon as he woke up.

And he did wake up, and he did play -- and play and play and play and play -- with his new toys.

Rhett squeezed every last drop of fun out of his first birthday

Stoked from an excess of sugar and excitement, he didn't go to bed again until eleven thirty.

And so the first birthday of our youngest grandchild is in the books, and it was memorable, and we all have precious memories of the occasion.

I remarked at one point that, when our children had their first birthdays, we would go to the zoo as a family and, at lunchtime, put a candle in a Twinkie and sing to them. That was the extent of it.

It's hard to believe but he will only get cuter

Times have changed.

Our prodigious penchant for pirate parties being what it is, I don't see it ever changing back. We'll keep on celebrating life in as zealous a fashion as the occasion calls for.

As it should be.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Monday

The crust of the matter

She came through it like a champ and has a neon yellow cast to prove it

Profuse pirate apols for being absent so long. I have been busy summering and have neglected you.

To begin, as so many have asked after her: Dagny is doing great.

She endured with bravery the break in her tibia being set a week ago, and was none the worse for the experience. Her new cast is neon yellow.

On that day I had invited everyone to come over for supper, as I wanted to try my hand at making pizza with a low-carb crust.

Here it is, all baked up and waiting for toppings

I had found a recipe for pizza crust using almond flour, which has a negligible carb count, and as most pizza toppings are extremely low in carbs as well, I thought we may have a winner.

A trip to the grocery store was warranted and I suggested that Audrey and Dagny meet me there after her appointment with the pediatric orthopedist.

We love to shop together.

I arrived first and sure enough as I came around the end of an aisle to proceed into the next one, I saw Audrey coming towards me, pushing a cart containing a bright-yellow casted Dagny.

Tomatoes, mushrooms, sausage, fresh mozzarella, and pepperoni await their time to shine

My granddaughter was happily brandishing a Starbucks venti caramel and chocolate something or other, the purchase of which her mother quipped had been motivated by mom guilt.

Enjoy every drop of that, Dagny, I said. You've earned it, and then some.

She just grinned, full of sugar and still feeling the effects of a mild painkiller.

The doctor said to come back on August second, at which time Dagny can put her crutches at the back of a closet -- or pitch them into the lake -- because on that day he will fit her with a walking cast.

Off brand perhaps, but thick, spicy, delicious, and forever in my cupboard

She will have to start third grade on August sixteenth wearing that cast, but he promised that she will be able to swim on Labor Day.

That's our last summer get-together, on which we have a big party and celebrate our Stephanie's birthday.

I'll be looking forward to it even more than usual this year.

After I'd purchased everything I'd need for the pizza, plus the other things on my list, I settled up at the till (managing to keep both arms and legs but having briefly contemplated the necessity of selling some of my jewelry) and we parted ways.

The finished product, which I will likely never make again

Everyone would be at my house several hours later for the meal.

The low-carb almond flour pizza crust was super easy to make. Its consistency is a lot like wet sand. It is sticky but not hard to handle; you just have to use parchment paper.

As in, I lined my large jellyroll pan with the paper and dumped the dough onto it. Then I added another layer of parchment paper and began coaxing the dough to the edges.

It took a few minutes but soon enough there was a genuine pizza crust ready for the oven.

Browned Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage mixed with pizza sauce

After baking, it cooled for a long time while I got my toppings ready.

I'd planned to make a low-carb pizza sauce using this recipe, but soon realized that the canned and jarred pizza sauces contain fewer carbs than the tomato paste which is the base of the low-carb version.

That making no sense to me (because I would have had to buy some costly spices too), I bought an inexpensive canned version which turned out to be so delicious, I will be stocking it in my cupboard from now on.

With only two net carbs per one-fourth cup of sauce, it's a winner on every score.

Next: well-drained tomatoes and mushrooms

As the time approached for my guests to arrive, I spread the sauce thickly on my low-carb crust. I added fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, pepperoni, discs of fresh mozzarella, parmesan, and red pepper flakes.

I wait until the pizza is baked to add a light layer of feta cheese to the top.

In due time we were all around the table with generous helpings of low-carb pizza on our plates. I had also made a baked macaroni and cheese because the children love it so much.

I took a bite of my pizza. Ugh. I hated it.

When it comes to cheese, two kinds are better than one

Looking around the table at everyone tasting their pizza, I was filled with fear. No one looked up; they were either too busy eating or they were afraid to look at me lest I see the horror in their eyes.

I think TG was the first one to say that he thought the pizza was delicious. He went for a second helping. Everyone else (besides me) agreed that they were enjoying their meal immensely.

If you don't like pepperoni, you're going to add something else at this point

Here's the thing: I just don't like the taste of almond flour. I already knew that, having used it in another recipe a few months back, but I'd hoped that as pizza crust, combined with the spicy toppings, I wouldn't notice the taste as much.

I was wrong, but as far as I can tell, no one shares my opinion. Erica asked for the recipe for my crust. TG said again that although the crust wasn't like regular pizza, the toppings were so good that he wouldn't mind if we had the almond flour crust all the time.

Wearing a robe of parmesan with a few red pepper flakes and ready for the oven

Audrey said she loved it. Dagny devoured hers. Chad did not complain, but then he wouldn't.

However, I doubt that I'll make it again. I have another recipe for a low-carb pizza crust using coconut flour, and I want to try that because I love the taste of coconut flour. 

Until that time though, I decided to further develop a concoction I've put together before, and always loved: crustless pizza.

Now, up until this time, I'd done that by merely coating the bottom of a baking dish with pizza sauce and adding pepperoni and mozzarella cheese, sprinkling the top with parmesan, and baking it until bubbly.

President is the only brand of feta I'll use

It's delicious and honestly, you don't even miss the crust. I had made that mainly as a snack rather than as a meal.

But, having given myself several days to get over the disappointment of my almond flour crust experience, I decided to dig out and dust off the crustless pizza concept, and zhuzh it up a bit.

So here's how I did it.

I browned a pound of Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage. After it was thoroughly drained, I mixed it with a jar of pizza sauce and spread it in in the bottom of my baking dish.

Baked to bubbly. It doesn't take all that long.

To the top of that I added -- again, completely drained of their liquid -- fresh tomatoes and mushrooms.

The next layer was a mixture of shredded mozzarella and sharp cheddar cheeses.

After that I added a thick layer of pepperoni, and sprinkled a liberal amount of parmesan on top of that.

Into the 350-degree oven it went.

Add the feta because when it comes to cheese, more is more

When it was bubbly, I brought it out and shook a lot of feta over the top. (President is the only brand of feta I will use. Erica gets it for me at Costco and I pay her back.)

Y'all. This is legit. (Low carb for those who care, but you could serve warm pizza bread along with it, for those who don't.)

I guess to be honest I should point out that it's really more like a pizza casserole. It's thick and satisfying, tasty and spicy and so totally pizza-like in taste, but casserole-like in presentation.

Now I need to point out that although this recipe is extremely low in carbs and of course gluten-free in case that is a concern, it is high in fat and calories, and probably sodium too.

A tasty and satisfying supper

If you're counting carbs, as a rule you don't count those other things. If you are counting those other things, this is probably going to be too rich for your blood.

But I pay attention only to carbs, and for many reasons, it works for me.

I will say though, that a relatively small portion of this crustless pizza is filling and satisfying enough that I could not imagine having seconds.

So that's my (unoriginal, but still) contribution to the world of low-carb living: pizza with almond flour crust, with coconut flour crust (which I have yet to try), and with no crust at all.

At church a week ago Sunday with her first hard cast, and on crutches

I hope you have not been bored to tears with my description of these myriad pizza adventures.

Because if all else fails, Hungry Howie's is right around the corner, with virtuous thin-crust pizza on the menu.

Next: Baby Rhett's first birthday party! This coming Saturday, right here!

You know I will tell you all about it after the fact. Meanwhile, I'll make the rounds and find out what all of you have been up to.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Monday