Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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Our four children

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Our eight grandchildren

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

> Jennifer <

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

Hoist The Colors

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

> Ralph Waldo Emerson <

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

> Jenny the Pirate <

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks

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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

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THE DREAMERS

In the dawn of the day of ages,
 In the youth of a wondrous race,
 'Twas the dreamer who saw the marvel,
 'Twas the dreamer who saw God's face.


On the mountains and in the valleys,
By the banks of the crystal stream,
He wandered whose eyes grew heavy
With the grandeur of his dream.

The seer whose grave none knoweth,
The leader who rent the sea,
The lover of men who, smiling,
Walked safe on Galilee --

All dreamed their dreams and whispered
To the weary and worn and sad
Of a vision that passeth knowledge.
They said to the world: "Be glad!

"Be glad for the words we utter,
Be glad for the dreams we dream;
Be glad, for the shadows fleeing
Shall let God's sunlight beam."

But the dreams and the dreamers vanish,
The world with its cares grows old;
The night, with the stars that gem it,
Is passing fair, but cold.

What light in the heavens shining
Shall the eye of the dreamer see?
Was the glory of old a phantom,
The wraith of a mockery?

Oh, man, with your soul that crieth
In gloom for a guiding gleam,
To you are the voices speaking
Of those who dream their dream.

If their vision be false and fleeting,
If its glory delude their sight --
Ah, well, 'tis a dream shall brighten
The long, dark hours of night.

> Edward Sims Van Zile <

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Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
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  • Always Near - A Romantic Collection
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    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
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  • America's Steadfast Dream
    America's Steadfast Dream
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  • Grave Influence: 21 Radicals and Their Worldviews That Rule America From the Grave
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    by Eleanor Alexander
Easy On The Goods
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    starring Geoffrey Canada, Michelle Rhee
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    The Catered Affair (Remastered)
    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
  • Bernie
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    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
  • Remember the Night
    Remember the Night
    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
    The Bad Seed
    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
    Shadow of a Doubt
    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
    The More The Merrier
    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
    Act of Valor
    starring Alex Veadov, Roselyn Sanchez, Nestor Serrano
  • Deep Water
    Deep Water
    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
  • Sunset Boulevard
    Sunset Boulevard
    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
    Penny Serenade
    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
  • Double Indemnity
    Double Indemnity
    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
  • Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    Ayn Rand and the Prophecy of Atlas Shrugged
    starring Gary Anthony Williams
  • Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Fat Sick & Nearly Dead
    Passion River
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    starring Clark Gable, Claudette Colbert
  • Stella Dallas
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    starring Barbara Stanwyck, John Boles, Anne Shirley, Barbara O'Neil, Alan Hale
  • The Iron Lady
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    starring Meryl Streep, Jim Broadbent, Harry Lloyd, Anthony Head, Alexandra Roach
  • Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    Wallace & Gromit: The Complete Collection (4 Disc Set)
    starring Peter Sallis, Anne Reid, Sally Lindsay, Melissa Collier, Sarah Laborde
  • The Red Balloon (Released by Janus Films, in association with the Criterion Collection)
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    starring Red Balloon
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    Stalag 17 (Special Collector's Edition)
    starring William Holden, Don Taylor, Otto Preminger, Robert Strauss, Harvey Lembeck
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    starring Frankie Muniz, Diane Lane, Luke Wilson, Kevin Bacon
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    starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, William Holden, Walter Hampden, John Williams
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    starring Cary Grant, Myrna Loy, Shirley Temple, Rudy Vallee, Ray Collins
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    Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)
    starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Jack Davenport
  • Now, Voyager (Keepcase)
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    starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, Claude Rains, Gladys Cooper, John Loder
  • The Trip To Bountiful
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  • Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
    Hold Back the Dawn [DVD] Charles Boyer; Olivia de Havilland; Paulette Goddard
That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999 - 2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

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~ RIP SHILOH ~

2017 - 2021

My Tar Heel Granddog

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~ RIP RAMBO ~

2008 - 2022

Andrew's Beloved Pet

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Wednesday
May142014

A Gorey-ous Mother's Day

I may have a strange sense of humor.

But at least I have one, ha ha.

That's more than can be said for some people.

However.

The sense of humor which I do have, tends to the dark side.

As in, of all the kinds of humor, the black variety is among my top three favorites.

No; I am not a racist. Step right off.

I am referring not to jokes at the expense of minorities, but to humor that spins darkly toward the macabre.

For example, I am an admirer a devotee of the work of the estimable, inimitable (and late) Edward Gorey.

My daughter Audrey and I are both fans of EG. In fact, it may have been she who brought him fully to my attention (whether for the first or second time, I am not sure), some years back.

At any rate we never tire of reading The Gashlycrumb Tinies all the way through, laughing like hyenas at nearly every letter and every line.

You may savor the poem -- which is also a diminutive book, wrought to perfection with EG's matchless illustrations -- in its entirety here.

Don't worry your little head; there are only twenty-six lines.

Muuuaaaahhhahahaha.

Be prepared for a shiver to slink up your spine when you come to your own initial.

Bless.

So anyway, Audrey bought me a few Edward Gorey collectibles for Mother's Day.

A mug! You can buy every letter of the Tinies on its own mug, but of the twenty-six available, my daughter knew I'd like this one best:

N is for Neville who died of ennui

His tiny face in the picture! He's barely there, so crushingly bored is Neville.

It's brilliant.

Also I got a lapel pin: Count Dracula towering menacingly over a hapless white-gowned Lucy Harker.

Mmmmmm those glossy black wings. I love it.

I'm a sucker for any book that's tongue-in-cheek about death and funerals.

My kids have a history of gifting me with such tomes.

As a result, in recent years I've added to my collection my very own copies of such titles as:

Food to Die For: A Book of Funeral Food, Tips and Tales;

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers;

Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt;

The Undertaking: Life Studies From the Dismal Trade;

Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker-In-Training;

and a new one, that my TG bought for me:

Mark Steyn's Passing Parade: Obituaries & Appreciations.

I hope to add more of the genre to my personal library as time goes by.

And I'll be reading one of those books while I enjoy my spa pedicures, paid for by gift certificates from my excellent and generous brood.

Meanwhile, I will continue to search high and low for my treasured copy of The Gashlycrumb Tinies, which seems to have gone missing.

When I find it, I shall inform you immediately.

It's very small, and for that reason is all the more important to me.

Little things mean a lot.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Wednesday

Thursday
May082014

Happy is as happy does

When I was a kid I heard more than once, from my mother: Pretty is as pretty does.

Pretty was a frequent topic in our house, much like cleanliness and neatness and intellectual achievement. My mother was (is) very pretty -- and clean and neat, and intelligent.

I wanted to be exactly like her. She was my first and by far my most significant role model.

I've since learned that if you had the privilege (or burden, as is the case with some) of knowing your mother, you turn out much like her regardless of whether that was your desired result. 

As for me, I cherish vivid memories of my comely mama standing before the medicine cabinet mirror, blacking her eyelashes, reddening her lips, spray-netting her bouffant hairdo, then stepping back and smiling happily at the effect.

And the effect was indeed stunning. Magical, even. She looked like a glamorous movie star who had missed Hollywood by a single gorgeously-coiffed hair.

My mother never -- ever ever ever -- went out of the house, to a public place, without being at least marginally dolled up.

As in, hair and makeup. Even if she was wearing a casual summer outfit, even if we were camping out, on a bad day or a day at the beach, Mama took pains to be pretty.

Although, falling off a log would have presented a greater challenge to my mother than being pretty.

Be that as it may, she took the time -- because it does take time. She took the time not because she was born in 1937 and grew up before the Baby Boom, when things were different.

She took the time not because it's just what women did, back then.

She took the time because she understood something: It is important for a female to look like a female.

Something I suspect she learned from her mother, who herself set an excellent example.

It is important for us to be the very best version of what our Creator made us to be.

Transformation is a major theme of the universe. A God-ordained law.

In every area it is our purpose to work toward a higher plane.

When someone with eyes that smolder
Says he loves ev'ry silken curl
That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!

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Male and female created he them.

I learned at my mother's knee that if you are a girl, femininity is central to your existence. Or at least, if you're savvy (and she was), it should be.

To a female, femininity is currency, certainly -- and the more you have in your account, the better -- but ultimately (and far more basically), it is oxygen.

In fact, as far as I am concerned, femininity is the sine qua non of a female's life. The essential element, without which not much else makes sense.

And lest I be accused of asserting that a woman must wear makeup in order to be feminine, I would admonish you to read a bit more carefully.

Don't get your pretty knickers in a twist if you don't own a mascara and even now, having read only this far, you're doing a slow burn.

Have an open mind.

(But I do suggest L'Oreal Telescopic as a happy medium between cheap and expensive. Don't get the waterproof kind.)

Last week I posted a few pictures and a poem for SkyWatch Friday. My post garnered a comment that was off-topic -- actually, nowhere near the topic -- and which, if I am to be honest, made me bristle.

The commenter, a person unknown to me, opined that upon reading in my sidebar that We should be in good shape as long as the Chanel No. 5, mascara, red lipstick, and Diet Coke hold out, was moved to be thankful that even sans cosmetics -- which said commenter has forsaken, apparently, due to suffering hot flashes -- she is STILL happy.

Her words struck me as self-righteous, implying as they did that, unlike her, I am a shallow, vain woman who has not the ability to enjoy a meaningful existence (at any age) in the absence of perfume and makeup and a soft drink laced with aspartame.

So I became a trifle defensive and I responded -- something I rarely do because everyone is entitled to their opinion and as long as they don't cuss or get crude on my website, I like to give folks all the rope they need in order to hang themselves -- that I'd reread the meant-to-be-droll sidebar blurb and confirmed in my own mind that nowhere did it say I required the named items in order to be happy.

However.

I have since given the matter a great deal of thought and I am here to offer an unequivocal and unqualified mea culpa. Guilty as charged.

Judge me all you want. It makes no difference whatsoever, to me or anyone else.

Like Popeye, I yam what I yam.

In a nutshell: I love being a girl. They should write a song.

Oh. They did.

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!

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The friendship of the world is enmity with God.

Everything means something. This has long been one of my mantras. You can ask anyone.

So, what does it mean that I won't leave the house without dressing like a woman, brushing my hair, and exercising at least a modicum of cosmetic discretion?

It means I accept my God-given role and I am neither resentful of nor intimidated by it.

I embrace it. No: I embrace it with joy and enthusiasm.

Why? Because to do so makes me happy. And for me, that means making the most of what God gave me.

It means living each day -- good, bad, and in between -- in gratitude that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. As a female.

Every Sunday morning I come downstairs ready for church, usually not having yet seen my beloved TG.

I get up lots earlier than he on Sunday, and I get ready in another part of the house. I don't like to talk in the morning.

But I wish you could see his eyes when he sees me. 

They widen and they glow. His beautiful eyes become more beautiful. He smiles and that smile is sweet. He reaches for me while I'm still on one of the stairs.

He says one of two things: Hi sweet girl, or Hi precious.

And he puts his arms around me and he leans in and breathes deep and smells my perfume, and he sighs. Chanel No. 5, being his favorite, elicits an extra-zealous response.

He kisses the back of my hand and rubs my arms and rejoices in my softness.

Then he looks at my hair and tells me it looks nice and pays me a few more compliments.

Every single Sunday of the world.

Yes; he's a good man. Without even trying. No; I'm not a natural beauty. I work at it.

But still. I hope you didn't miss the point: my husband not only appreciates my femininity, but he is energized and encouraged by it. Inspired, even.

I am never tempted to take masculinity from a man. I married a real man and I wouldn't have it any other way.

And lest you doubt, I do my share of appreciating the way he looks and smells on Sunday morning.

He's wearing a crisp dress shirt and a silk tie and sharp slacks and he's about to put on a suit coat. 

Because we're going not to a rodeo or down the road to the produce stand, but to church.

And yes, it matters what you wear to church. It means something.

But that's another blog for another day.

His still-abundant hair, silver at the temples, is carefully combed. His handsome face is smooth. He smells divine.

And I breathe deeply too, and I tell him how good he looks.

And then we tote our Bibles -- you know, that book kids can't read in school anymore, lest they be irreparably corrupted -- to the car and head out.

When we get there, we snuggle the whole time, as we always have.

In thirty-five years of marriage, we've never let anyone (of any age, even -- or especially -- our own offspring) sit between us in the pew.

And yes, we've made our share of mistakes.

But neither of us has ever been afraid to be who we are. We won't be intimidated or pressured into being who we aren't. Even so, it's more than that. We glory in our respective roles.

Because God made him a man and me a woman. And it's working just fine that way, thank you very much.

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl like me.

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The world promotes two things: Androgyny and unbridled lust.

What the world system relentlessly pushes is not only avoidance of God and His laws, but complete defiance in the face of God and His design for males and females.

As in, the goal of the liberal system and the lapdog media is for there to no longer be any such thing as gender, much less morality.

In one generation, perhaps two, the overlap will be such that nobody will dare -- or think -- to use the terms male and female anymore.

The annihilation of marriage and the family as some of us have been blessed to experience those things, is most definitely the world's number one agenda.

And if you can succeed in getting females to abandon dressing and acting like females -- except in the basest, most obvious sense, hinging solely on the prurient -- you are at least three-quarters of the way there.

If you weren't aware of that, then now you know. And knowledge is sorrow but it is also power.

Several years back I was perusing vintage magazines in an antique shop. Ephemera from a time gone by.

In riffling through the pages of an oversized publication like Life or some such, from the '70s if not earlier, I came across an ad that showed how far we've come -- or gone, as the case may be.

The ad was for Coty's Emeraude perfume -- a timeless winner, a scent I sometimes still wear because you can buy it at Walmart and Walgreens and it makes a girl smell like something good enough to eat.

It consisted of a single picture, of a beautiful young woman with long dark hair. It was mostly a head shot and she was posed not in a provocative way necessarily, but there was no mistaking the message.

In case the viewer missed the point, however, the tagline brought it front and center:

If you want him to be more of a man, try being more of a woman.

Booyah.

(You wouldn't be able to get that ad published today, any more than you could make a musical like Flower Drum Song featuring a song like I Love Being A Girl.)

And yet, everyone not only knows what an ad like that means without having to be told, but they know it's true.

If they're being honest. Are you being honest? Honestly?

I asked TG a few weeks ago: What if I cut my hair really short -- like, man-short, requiring practically no care -- and threw out all of my cosmetics along with my lighted makeup mirror and just said, you know, I'm tired of all that fuss.

Would I be so repulsive if I stopped using hair dye and quit going to the salon once every five weeks for a trim, just let my hair sprout everywhere, unkempt and graying, and called a moratorium on the use of creams and potions and lotions and substances and scents and powders and sprays and brushes and combs and such like, and went au naturel for the rest of my life, opting instead to invest my time and money in something less -- ah, temporal?

After all, lots of women do it and the sun still comes up every morning, I pointed out.

We were in the car, going to church. After I said all that, I stole a look at my TG and waited for his answer. He was apparently still thinking.

Well? Would you be happy with me if I did that? I said.

His answer was as brief as it was predictable:

No.

So there you have it.

He'd still love me, because that's who he is. But he wouldn't be happy with me, because that's not who I am.

And guess what? I wouldn't be happy with me either.

Although I realize there is no intrinsic eternal value (other than their sometimes-considerable cost) in the items on my dressing table, I know that their sum is far greater than their parts.

For me, taken together and used correctly, put in their proper place, given appropriate weight in the scheme of things and allowed to do their job, they facilitate recognition.

They are a necessary means to a desirable end.

Prudent use of those products represents one of many truths, if you will, that define me.

Which is why not only would I not forsake any part of my beauty routine, but I wouldn't even seriously contemplate forsaking it.

It's worth the trouble to get prettied up. And it is trouble. Sometimes I sigh and grumble when I face it.

But I still face it.

My mother taught me that it's what women do. Because ladies are supposed to be pretty. And soft, and sweet-smelling, and feminine. Nothing like a man. Men are supposed to be rugged and handsome and masculine.

The difference should be substantial, pronounced, and definitive.

Vive la difference.

But my mother didn't only tell me; she showed me. She still does.

And she was right then, and she's right now.

Which is why I taught the same to my daughters, who in their turn have willingly and beautifully embraced the philosophy and practice not of feminism -- do not get me started -- but of joyous femininity.

And who are teaching it to their daughters, and will continue to do so.

It makes us all very happy.

Thanks, Mom. I love you. And not just because you're pretty.

Now kindly pass me an ice-cold Diet Coke.

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Happy Sunday ~ Happy Mother's Day

Friday
May022014

SkyWatch Friday: Threaded in the air


To mend each tattered Faith
There is a needle fair
Though no appearance indicate --
'Tis threaded in the Air --


And though it do not wear
As if it never Tore
'Tis very comfortable indeed
And spacious as before --


=Emily Dickinson=

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Happy Friday ~ Happy Weekend ~ Happy May
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