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Let's Give Her A Hand
Monday, April 28, 2008 at 06:44PM 
In my weakened condition (I've got a bad cold), and in a time slot when I would ordinarily have been arranging my bonnet for church, yesterday I was cuddling Melanie and watching CBS Sunday Morning ... a TV news magazine hosted by Charles Osgood. Between sneezing and blowing my nose, hoping against hope I wasn't infecting Melly, I became captivated by a segment involving one Ellen Sirot, a woman apparently famous in the advertising world for being a hand supermodel.
What on earth are foot models not allowed to do? Do they walk all over town on their hands?
It seems there are models for many body parts; I guess if you don't have the wherewithal to succeed as a cover girl for Elle or a Victoria's Secret angel, you can offer up your feet, hands, knees or elbows for intense photographic scrutiny. If you won any kind of a genetic lottery, some part of you may be deemed worthy for use in the never-ending quest to sell more stuff to the rest of us.
Such is the case with the fortunate Ellen, who describes herself as "the 'it' of digits."
Any relation to Cousin Itt? No, wait ... he was all about hair! Ellen is more like "Thing" ... the Addams Family character who was nothing more or less than a disembodied hand in a box with a hinged lid.
If the way she poised her perfect neutral-colored hands as she was interviewed is any indication, Ms. Sirot appears to have taken lessons from Thing. She constantly held the hands aloft, fingers separated delicately, posed as if just waiting for a product to be placed in her gentle grasp. A very dignified ... if a little spooky ... mode of hawking wares.
When the interviewer, seemingly fascinated, shyly requested permission to touch the hands of the smiling Ms. Sirot, she was told that she could experience this tactile wonder if she used only her fingertips to very gingerly feel one hand, near the wrist.
"Aren't those the softest hands?" Ms. Sirot wanted to know afterwards. The interviewer conceded in an appropriately awed voice that the hands were indeed soft.
I hardly expected her to say they felt like sandpaper.
Ellen the hand supermodel was shown walking down a busy street in Manhattan, her hands gloved to the elbows and held away from her body, fingers pointed heavenward, like a surgeon who has scrubbed for twenty minutes and is ready to be gowned. The purpose of this unusual posture is to facilitate "draining" (as in blood), something Ms. Sirot does as often as possible. It's enough to break a vampire of thumbsucking.
Ellen says that her hands have not seen the light of day for fifteen years, and that she owns over 500 pairs of gloves to cover them with. I have nearly that many shoes and I'm not even a foot model! I couldn't model a toenail.
Ms. Sirot says that the list of things she's not allowed to do with her hands is endless. She can't cook, clean, take out garbage, open a can, open a window, or open a door. She can't work in a garden, play sports, or buckle her own shoes (her daughter does this for her). Indeed, Ellen does not use her hands even for something as innocuous as pressing a button to call an elevator (she either uses an elbow or asks someone standing nearby to do it for her). Mr. Sirot gladly does all of the housework and says he doesn't mind because she's beautiful and he loves her. And because she sometimes makes thousands of dollars per hour for hand modeling.
But in my mind this begs the question: what on earth are foot models not allowed to do? Do they walk all over town on their hands?
Speaking of the lower extremities ... like actress Betty Grable, whose flawless legs were reportedly insured by Lloyd's of London for one million dollars, Ms. Sirot has hand insurance. Unfortunately, however, it does not cover "the mundane, like a paper cut." Wha ... ??? Sorry but it seems to me that if you have hands nice enough to require insurance for them, you could probably afford the kind that covers "the mundane." And what about airbrushing? As pluperfect as Ms. Sirot's hands surely are, I don't believe for a second that the photos taken of them never have to be enhanced.
At least one photographer who has had the pleasure of working with Ms. Sirot's hands says that she has figured out how to "make a hand a little prettier, a little happier, a little more aggressive."
Shoot girl ... I just looked at my hands and realized that they are never happier or more aggressive than when I'm writing. But alas, not nearly pretty enough to be photographed for advertising purposes. I gladly leave that to the carpally superior Ellen Sirot, the self-proclaimed "it" of digits.
Reader Comments (7)
You'll pardon me for saying so (although Ellen probably wouldn't!) but she sounds just a pinky full of herself! Sayin' she's all that and a bag o' chips just 'cause she's got purdy pointers tells me that gal's got a problem! And I got to thinking...if she can't do any of that stuff you listed, is she just bored out of her skull (as I would be?) And what's she supposed to do with all that moolah? Watch her husband enjoy it? Sheesh!
I know! Exactly! She even admitted during the interview: "Most people think I'm crazy." Uhm ... yeah.
Perhaps a thimblefull of "the real world" ... like, say, the one where we use those things at the ends of our arms to help and comfort others (not to mention dress ourselves) would help Ellen have a more meaningful life!
But her hands really are beautiful.
Hi, Jennifer! I came over to thank you for visitin' and commentin' on my blog, Small & Big. Then I immediately found myself sucked into this fascinatingly "handsome" blog post. Cool! I'm looking at my paws and, judging by the chapped skin, cuts, hangnails, ground-in dirt and grass stains, my hands went feral.
We'll be back!
While I'm here: Interested on trading blogroll thingies? If so, lemme know by leaving a comment on http://smallandbig.blogspot.com Gracias for your consideration!
OOOHHHH, "sucked in" ... me likey! I find your blog fascinating as well and have added you to my blogroll! Thanks for reading, P.L.!
First of all, I hope you're feeling a lot better!
Secondly, this was fascinating, but I wonder do The Hands ever get wet, say in the shower?
I'm feeling 75 percent better, Keli! Hope it's 100 by tomorrow! Thanks for asking.
Great question about The Hands. One can only imagine that only very special, carefully chosen, and probably expensive substances come into contact with these rarefied paws. There are ALL KINDS of personal questions I'd love to ask her, too. Sheesh. The mind runs wild.