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And now for a he is (still) not here rant
Monday, August 9, 2010 at 12:44AM 
It's possible I'm overreacting in this particular situation, but I doubt it.
If you think I am, feel free to say so but don't judge me.
On Sunday afternoon I got a call from a ranking person in the United States military.
He had a Biblical name. Old Testament. Which is good because he certainly isn't one of the Wise Men.
This person was calling from the base where my son serves one weekend per month in a reservist capacity, plus extra duty as required.
The arrangement has been in place for three years.
And yet, at least a dozen times within those three years, someone from the base -- which is not even in the State of South Carolina -- has called this house in an official capacity, wishing to speak with my son.
Who has not lived here since July, 2007.
Who in fact lives in that other state where he is a college student, and where he regularly reports for duty at the base which is a scant thirty miles from campus.
To top it all off, this weekend -- as in, Saturday and Sunday -- was a drill weekend for my son. Meaning, he was on base all day both days.
And yet Sergeant Biblical-name-I-won't-mention called here and asked to speak to him.
I admit, I got a little animated.
Sir, I said. My son does not live here. He has not lived here since his country sent him to boot camp on July 17, 2007.
Ergo he cannot be reached at this number. Ever. Literally, when he is here it is only for a day or two and even then, the only way to be sure you'll reach him is to call his cell phone.
The number of which has not changed in, like, forever.
And which I can only assume you have on record.
Can I in fact assume that? Would it be too much to ask that after all this time, you have his cell phone number on file? Would it?
My son lives in the state where you are sitting right now. (I continued.) He is a full-time college student. But because this is in fact his drill weekend, he is more than likely on base as we speak.
As in, the same base from which I assume you are calling.
And yet you are calling here to speak with him.
Why? Why? I demanded to know.
The military person offered an excuse.
(Of course! What else?)
This is the phone number we have for your son, ma'am, he said.
But! I reminded him. Every single solitary time you have called this house since July of 2007 asking to speak to my son, he has not been here because he does not live here.
And every time you have called here, I have told you -- sometimes patiently, more often impatiently because you don't seem to be listening -- that he does not live here and that the way to reach him is by calling his cell phone.
Can I get a HUA?*
I didn't say that last bit about getting a HUA, but I wanted to. I should have.
(For all I know, my son could have been sitting right beside this guy. Heaven knows they see a whole lot more of him than I do but apparently, to them, he is invisible.)
In conclusion I stressed one last time: please make a note of my son's cell phone number and please be aware of where he lives. I've told you so many times now, I've lost count.
And yet consistently, you call here and ask for him.
And so I repeat: He is not here.
He has not been here since early March, and that was only for thirty-six hours.
He will not be here for any significant length of time in the foreseeable future.
And when you call here like brainless dolts and say his name, it only reminds me how much I wish that were not the case.
*Heard, Understood, Acknowledged.
Reader Comments (10)
Aaagh! We get calls for Andy too, but since he is not reserves, it's not his actual drill sergeants. The ones that frustrated me were the recruiters. I would tell them - you already have him! And yet, they would call back! They seem to have gotten the message though. I don't think they have called for him for the last year. Maybe there is hope for your people too!
Oh I think a few of us can get on your "Rant Wagon". I've been dealing with my son's bills, that are still sent here, but which he pays on line, since he too doesn't live here anymore. What a cutie he is.
Mari ... I can't believe the recruiters kept calling after the deed was done. That never happened to us! I just don't know why, even with a reservist, after three years of him being regularly on base, they wouldn't know where he lives. And why they'd call what is obviously an out-of-state number to reach him. It's asinine.
Irene ... LOL I didn't even go there because we still get Andrew's bills too, but I fuss at him about that because I figure he hasn't provided change of address, but he says he has. What kills me is when totally new bills start coming, which makes me wonder: How long does a person have to live at a new address before they don't use the old one anymore? LOLOL and I think he's a cutie too but I think you were saying yours is a cutie. Which I'm sure he is ... LOL
Overreact? Nah, you didn't overreact. There's an instance of stupidity, and then there's repeating that instance of stupidity over and over, which is what you've had to endure. Although, maybe "stupidity" is too harsh. Laziness, that's what it is. All it takes is a minute to make a "do not call this number, call the cell phone" note. But why "waste" a minute when you can do this song and dance all over again in a couple months?!
I'm afraid this is a blatant case of governmental stupidity, something which you'll note, has been on the rise recently and continues its upward trend (insert major sigh here). I'm afraid, if it should happen again, you'll have to really jolt the dolt, to make sure your words are not forgotten again. Ever.
Are you sure this guy calling you is ACTUALLY with the military? This could be a crank call of some sort. I'm just wondering. If it is an actual, legitimate call, then your son needs to make sure that his records reflect his phone, not yours. He probably have them your phone number when he enlisted or since he really has no "home" other than yours, they military requires a contact number other than his personal number.
Kev ... that's exactly right: they are LAZY. Too lazy to make a simple note even though they've been asked to do so, repeatedly. Makes one wonder about our national security.
Keli ... yep ... stupidity in government ... imagine that! And believe me: next time I'll give the dolt a jolt he'll not soon forget.
Debbie ... you make an excellent point. Which is why I wouldn't have provided Andrew's cell phone number even if he'd asked for it (which he didn't). If he'd asked for Andrew's cell phone number I would have said, Sir, I don't know who you are but if you claim to be from _____ ______ Air Force Base and you tell me you have no way to reach my son except a number of a house where he has not lived for three years, I do believe I will be forced to contact the base commander (whom I happen to have met), and tell him that his personnel can't get the job done. BTW I'm sure Andrew did provide our home number when he enlisted ... AND his cell phone number. The point is, they refuse to listen when they call and I tell them -- not once, not twice, not three times but more like a dozen times -- that this number is not the correct number to reach my son. They need to take a moment to make a note so that in a real emergency, they're not chasing their own tails trying to contact him.
Has he made changes to his official information? In the Air Force it was a form that went into your personnel file, for the life of me I can't remember what number it was -- and they probably changed it when Merrill McPeak was in charge and changing everything in sight, including the uniforms. If there's any justice in the universe he will rot in you-know-where for the damage he inflicted while he was building his "legacy."
Anyway. If that form isn't updated to include the phone number he wants them to use, they'll keep calling the one that is in the file.
Of course, even if he updates it there's no guarantee that they'll actually, you know, update their database. That's a whole other function...
I keep hearing how much more streamlined and efficient it all is, now that everything's in the database. Kinda like all those years of hearing we were going to be a "paperless Air Force." Never happened while I was on active duty, still hasn't. And I've been retired for nearly 12 years.
JT ... it's the Air Force he's in, and honestly, this is just laziness. It's a problem that occurs only when people on that particular base are too shiftless to use the only contact number for him that is the correct number. In my opinion there's no excuse!
Ahhhhhhh babydoll! ((((HUG))))
I know....
hughugs