Bring Me That Horizon

Welcome to jennyweber dot com

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Home of Jenny the Pirate

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Our four children

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Our eight grandchildren

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This will go better if you

check your expectations at the door.

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We're not big on logic

but there's no shortage of irony.

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 Nice is different than good.

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Oh and ...

I flunked charm school.

So what.

Can't write anything.

> Jennifer <

Causing considerable consternation
to many fine folk since 1957

Pepper and me ... Seattle 1962

  

In The Market, As It Were

 

 

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Contributor to

American Cemetery

published by Kates-Boylston

Hoist The Colors

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Insist on yourself; never imitate.

Your own gift you can present

every moment

with the cumulative force

of a whole life’s cultivation;

but of the adopted talent of another

you have only an extemporaneous

half possession.

That which each can do best,

none but his Maker can teach him.

> Ralph Waldo Emerson <

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Represent:

The Black Velvet Coat

Belay That!

This blog does not contain and its author will not condone profanity, crude language, or verbal abuse. Commenters, you are welcome to speak your mind but do not cuss or I will delete either the word or your entire comment, depending on my mood. Continued use of bad words or inappropriate sentiments will result in the offending individual being banned, after which they'll be obliged to walk the plank. Thankee for your understanding and compliance.

> Jenny the Pirate <

A Pistol With One Shot

Ecstatically shooting everything in sight using my beloved Nikon D3100 with AF-S DX Nikkor 18-55mm 1:3.5-5.6G VR kit lens and AF-S Nikkor 50mm f/1.8 G prime lens.

Also capturing outrageous beauty left and right with my Nikon D7000 blissfully married to my Nikkor 85mm f/1.4D AF prime glass. Don't be jeal.

And then there was the Nikon AF-S DX NIKKOR 18-200mm f:3.5-5.6G ED VR II zoom. We're done here.

Dying Is A Day Worth Living For

I am a taphophile

Word. Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Great things are happening at

Find A Grave

If you don't believe me, click the pics.

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Dying is a wild night

and a new road.

Emily Dickinson

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REMEMBRANCE

When I am gone

Please remember me

 As a heartfelt laugh,

 As a tenderness.

 Hold fast to the image of me

When my soul was on fire,

The light of love shining

Through my eyes.

Remember me when I was singing

And seemed to know my way.

Remember always

When we were together

And time stood still.

Remember most not what I did,

Or who I was;

Oh please remember me

For what I always desired to be:

A smile on the face of God.

David Robert Brooks

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 Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

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Keep To The Code

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You Want To Find This
The Promise Of Redemption

Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I BELIEVED, AND THEREFORE HAVE I SPOKEN; we also believe, and therefore speak;

Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

II Corinthians 4

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THE DREAMERS

In the dawn of the day of ages,
 In the youth of a wondrous race,
 'Twas the dreamer who saw the marvel,
 'Twas the dreamer who saw God's face.


On the mountains and in the valleys,
By the banks of the crystal stream,
He wandered whose eyes grew heavy
With the grandeur of his dream.

The seer whose grave none knoweth,
The leader who rent the sea,
The lover of men who, smiling,
Walked safe on Galilee --

All dreamed their dreams and whispered
To the weary and worn and sad
Of a vision that passeth knowledge.
They said to the world: "Be glad!

"Be glad for the words we utter,
Be glad for the dreams we dream;
Be glad, for the shadows fleeing
Shall let God's sunlight beam."

But the dreams and the dreamers vanish,
The world with its cares grows old;
The night, with the stars that gem it,
Is passing fair, but cold.

What light in the heavens shining
Shall the eye of the dreamer see?
Was the glory of old a phantom,
The wraith of a mockery?

Oh, man, with your soul that crieth
In gloom for a guiding gleam,
To you are the voices speaking
Of those who dream their dream.

If their vision be false and fleeting,
If its glory delude their sight --
Ah, well, 'tis a dream shall brighten
The long, dark hours of night.

> Edward Sims Van Zile <

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Freedom is a fragile thing and is never more than one generation away from extinction. It is not ours by inheritance; it must be fought for and defended constantly by each generation, for it comes only once to a people. Those who have known freedom and then lost it, have never known it again.

~ Ronald Reagan

Photo Jennifer Weber 2010

Not Without My Effects

My Compass Works Fine

The Courage Of Our Hearts

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Daft Like Jack

 "I can name fingers and point names ..."

And We'll Sing It All The Time
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Easy On The Goods
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    starring Bette Davis, Ernest Borgnine, Debbie Reynolds, Barry Fitzgerald, Rod Taylor
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    starring Jack Black, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey
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    starring Barbara Stanwyck, Fred MacMurray, Beulah Bondi, Elizabeth Patterson, Sterling Holloway
  • The Ox-Bow Incident
    The Ox-Bow Incident
    starring Henry Fonda, Dana Andrews, Mary Beth Hughes, Anthony Quinn, William Eythe
  • The Bad Seed
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    starring Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones, Eileen Heckart, Evelyn Varden
  • Shadow of a Doubt
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    starring Teresa Wright, Joseph Cotten, Macdonald Carey, Patricia Collinge, Henry Travers
  • The More The Merrier
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    starring Jean Arthur, Joel McCrea, Charles Coburn, Bruce Bennett, Ann Savage
  • Act of Valor
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    starring Tilda Swinton, Donald Crowhurst, Jean Badin, Clare Crowhurst, Simon Crowhurst
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    starring William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich Von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark
  • Penny Serenade
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    starring Cary Grant, Irene Dunne, Edgar Buchanan, Beulah Bondi
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    starring Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, Edward G. Robinson, Porter Hall, Jean Heather
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That Dog Is Never Going To Move

~ RIP JAVIER ~

1999 - 2016

Columbia's Finest Chihuahua

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~ RIP SHILOH ~

2017 - 2021

My Tar Heel Granddog

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~ RIP RAMBO ~

2008 - 2022

Andrew's Beloved Pet

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Saturday
Dec152007

I'll Have A Blue Christmas ... Guaranteed

Christmastime is depressing! There ... I've said it. Or maybe I should have said, everything that is normally depressing, is extra depressing at Christmastime ... and other things that are hardly depressing at all, become so at Christmastime. At least to me. Every year I find myself attempting to understand -- and sometimes even explain to friends and/or family -- why Christmas leaves me feeling emotionally bruised. It certainly isn't because I have anything to complain about. I'm healthy and happy and extremely fortunate; I have a loving family comprised of my darling husband and my precious children and grandchildren, as well as dozens of extended family. I have a good job and lots of friends. I have hope for the future and the ability to forget the part of the past that needs to be forgotten. I think I'm relatively well-adjusted, except for those times (few and far between) when I become totally irrational for no apparent reason. My husband could tell you all about those, but he'll have to start his own blog first. I would advise you not to hold your breath.

It's just that, while I can't stand the thought of homeless people, sick children or children nobody wants, dogs nobody wants, terrible misunderstandings that lead to years of hurt silence, people in the world who are starving, or those who die young (just to name a few things), at any time, for me it becomes unbearable to think about these things occurring -- or continuing -- at Christmastime. Everything that hurts, hurts worse in December. Every disappointment is sharper and every regret is deeper. Doubts and fears that usually niggle just a little, niggle a lot when those multicolored lights are glowing everywhere. As the season waxes toward The Day when families get together and most of the presents are opened and big meals are prepared and consumed, then wanes tragically into that limbo week of non-time between Christmas and New Year's Day (which day I despise for some reason), things that are already sad simply become sad to the millionth power. Until I can hardly bring myself to dwell on them. But I do anyway, just because I think I should. I think we all should.

Just last week someone in our Sunday School class requested prayer for a family. This family had two days previously lost their 24-year-old son when he suddenly passed away during a routine tonsillectomy. December 16th will mark the second anniversary of the day a brother and sister, age 23 and 29 respectively, who grew up in the community where I live, died together in an automobile accident about 25 miles outside of town. Their parents had no other children. My friend Rosemary lost her 17-year-old son in a traffic accident in late November of 2006. I try to imagine what the parents are going through, dealing with these heartbreaking events at Christmastime, but I really can't. Surely any time of year is a terrible time to receive sudden tragic news, but at Christmastime? To me it seems as though it would make an unthinkably difficult situation even worse.

And then there are the relationship problems that people endure every day of the year -- whether of longstanding duration or of more recent vintage, no matter -- that complicate what is supposed to be a joyous time and make it horribly difficult. It's not bad enough that for most of us there is never enough money or time, or both, to accomplish what you would like to during the Christmas season. Throw in a custody battle and I imagine it becomes like a nightmare. Yesterday I was retained to cover three depositions. The proceedings were set to begin at nine o'clock in the morning, with each deposition immediately following the one before it. We should have been finished by noon at the latest. But before the first deponent was even seated, one of the lawyers had bad news. "I have to be in family court at ten," he revealed to the other six interested parties assembled at the conference room table. "I just found out about it late yesterday afternoon. The judge has to rule on where my client's ten-year-old child will spend Christmas Day." As I drove home to spend the three-hour recess there before we reconvened the depos after lunch, I pondered the sadness of a child whose parents cannot cooperate about where their child spends Christmas, without a judge's intervention. I counted my blessings a couple of times just to be sure I hadn't missed any.

Later, during the third depo of the day, a deponent was asked to provide the names of his adult daughters. After stating that they both still went by their maiden name, he had to correct himself. Seems he is estranged from one of his children and has not spoken to her in years. "She may be married," he testified. "I wouldn't know if her name has changed." I thought that was so sad. It must hurt at Christmastime more than, say, on Memorial Day, if there is so much bitterness between yourself and your own child, that you don't even know whether they've gotten married. The same man, when questioned about his marital status, provided the names of three former wives as well as the lucky lady who is his current wife. He said that of the three women he has at one time or another in the past called his wife, he has no earthly idea where two of them live, or if they are even still alive. Call me a dope, but that made me sad! It probably wouldn't affect me at all two months from now, but yesterday it cast a pall. Mistakes and failures are just worse at Christmastime.

My husband once ran over a squirrel when we were on our way to a Christmas party. He didn't mean to! Now, it was a cold day and although I would always mourn the passing of a small animal under the wheels of my automobile, on this particular day -- at Christmastime -- it broke my heart in two. The little thing's legs were still jerking and I made my husband stop the car (we were in a quiet subdivision full of mature trees alive with bouncing, jumping squirrels) so that I could move the poor dying critter out of the road. I couldn't stand the thought of him getting run over again, flattened, decimated. I was wearing gloves because it was so cold. There was hardly any blood. I gingerly picked him up and nestled him in some leaves at the edge of the woods. He looked peaceful but I still cried. It was just awful, being responsible for killing a squirrel at Christmastime. Years later our Beagle, Quincy, was run over and killed in December. Our neighbor, who had tried but failed to avoid "Quince" when he ran out into the road, apologized over and over for killing our kids' pet at Christmastime. He knew it would hurt differently given that it was Christmas, and it did. The kids were devastated and they all got extra presents that year.

My husband doesn't feel the sadness of Christmas like I do (except maybe in his wallet), and if I allude to it in conversation, he is likely to kid me about it, gently. So believe it or not, on this subject I generally keep my mouth shut. I'll thank you not to guffaw. Case in point: a few days ago we were driving somewhere and I saw what I thought was a dead dog in the middle of a busy road. A car in the next lane was partially obscuring my first glimpse of the object, and all I saw was that it was brown. Brown like a dog. But then the car moved and I saw it was only a box. "Oh, thank goodness," I sighed. "I thought it was a dead dog but it's only a box. A dead box." My husband grinned in his maddening way. "A box that ran out into the road," he added. HA HA, very funny. At least I didn't ask him to stop so I could give the box a decent burial. I'm in favor of flattening box roadkill at Christmastime, but please, let's put all the world's sadness inside first.

Reader Comments (3)

It's true that December is a month when feelings of both sadness and joy are exaggerated, Jen, but don't you feel that this is what Christmas is all about? A child was brought into this world to save us, to show us how to live our lives fruitfully, but how can we do that if we don't reflect on both our own and other lives?

You are fortunate to have a good job, but it comes at a price. You often see the worst of people, the ones who are careless with the gift of life they have been given, the ones who believe that all the ills that have beset them are never their fault. When faced with these people time after time, it's easy to forget that the majority are just regular people who try to live their lives in a Christian way, bring their children up to respect and love and who appreciate that along the way, hurt and pain will occur.

Reflect, by all means Jen, but think about all the people who use this time of year to mend fences, build bridges (and any other cliche you can think of!). The bereaved will always have times when sadness is almost unbearable and Christmas multiplies that sadness, but life, as they say, goes on and in the main Christmas brings with it a realisation that life is precious and worth fighting for, pain and all.

December 16, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterDeppfest

Jen, you are not alone, I have the same feeling as you at this time of year. And I do agree with Depps too. Hugs to sweety! It made me feel not so alone to read it. So thank you.

December 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Hugs to you! LOL!

December 22, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

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