No wire no wire no wire

Not long after we moved to South Carolina in the dawn of the aughties, a representative of the cable company was summoned to our house -- for the usual reasons.

The work commenced. In due time we noticed that said cable guy, while working in our sun room, often repeated these words in run-on fashion:

No wire no wire no wire no wire no wire ...

And if you know anything about the -- ahem -- speech patterns in South Carolina, you may imagine that it sounded more like this:

No war no war no war no war no war.

TG asked the good man why he continually intoned no wire no wire no wire while he worked.

And I don't remember after this long span of time exactly what the cable guy said in response, but he admitted that it amounted to a sort of prayer. Or a cable-guy mantra.

As in, Please don't let there be no wires in this here wall for me to hit or cut or break or nothing, while I'm loadin' up this here length of cable for these folks.

Many times over the years since then, when TG and I have found ourselves in a situation where an action taken may go either one way or the other, one of us will say:

No wire no wire no wire ...

Sometimes it works; sometimes it don't.

Them's the breaks.

Speaking of breaks.

Yesterday Audrey and Dagny were here because, as I frequently do, I'd retained Audrey's excellent services to do some things for me around the house while I completed various tasks of my own.

Around mid-morning, a large crew of workmen with many trucks and several pieces of heavy equipment had stationed themselves a stone's throw from our house, and began digging a huge hole in our neighbor's yard.

Somewhere around lunchtime, my daughter came and found me where I was, in my room.

Mom, she said. There's no water.

I flipped up a blind slat and observed that out of the hole in the Franklins' yard was gushing many hundreds of gallons of water.

Oh, there was water. Just not coming out of our taps.

They did it, I said, pointing.

I went out onto the front porch (I needed to be out there anyway because the battery-operated lights on my door wreath were fading and I was tired of worrying about their brightness level -- just as I am often concerned about my own -- so I planned to change the lights over to a new strand that hooked up to electricity) and glowered over in their direction for several minutes.

That didn't make the water come back on, but it was reasonably satisfying.

I fixed my lights and went back inside. Still no water.

I called the water company and was told that a water main had broken and there would be no water for two to three hours more.

? ? ? ? ?

You may want to commend me for NOT revealing to the nice lady on the other end of the line that, in all probability, the workmen had CAUSED the break in the water main.

Because they'd worked for hours with no disruption in neighborhood service, and THEN created the gusher which coincided with our water supply being cut off.

Also: The break was reported at two o'clock, the water company lady said.

Hmmmmm. They'd begun working long before noon. So we know they didn't come out there because there was a break in the water main.

(No; technically I don't know what I'm talking about but there's a thread of common sense here. Stay with me.)

And there was this incontrovertible evidence: As I struggled to re-light my wreath (which took longer than it should have; don't ask), the workmen continually shouted to one another, rapid-fire fashion:

STOP STOP STOP STOP STAAAAAHPPPP!!!!!!

Or ...

HEY HEY NO HEY HEY HEY HEY NOOOOOO!!!!!

Or ...

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA HEY ... !!!!!

These cries continued so urgently, ringing out so loudly across the land -- I'm pretty sure they could be heard as far away as Paducah, perhaps in Poughkeepsie and the Poconos, or even across the Pond -- that more than once I dropped my Christmas lights and had to start all over again installing the blasted things on my recalcitrant wreath.

(Remind me in future to always go with fake greenery, the branches of which can be bent and shaped to accommodate and hold a string of lights. Thanks ever so.)

Not exactly confidence-inspiring, the water company workers constantly screaming at one another as though, with their backhoe, they'd just unearthed their long-lost grannies all milling around down in that red-dirt hole and were afraid of drowning or otherwise maiming them.

And yes; it took three hours for water service to be returned to the neighborhood.

And no; there's no larger, philosophical message to be drawn from this experience. No precise takeaway, except maybe:

Give thanks today if water comes out when you turn on the tap.

And if you have occasion to do something risky, don't forget the code phrase:

No wire no wire no wire no wire.

And that is all for now.

=0=0=0=

Happy Friday :: Happy Weekend

Comments

[Mari]

We'll have to remember the no wire phrase...
We have a well, so usually don't have water issues. However, when the power goes out, so does our water.
Glad you have water again!

[Jennifer]

@Mari ... if the power and the water went out at the same time, I'd give up and go out to eat. Haaahha xoxo

[Cheryl]

Hmmm, now I am wondering if you have to boil your water before you can drink it?

What an inconvenience especially when Audrey was there to help you! Hope it all worked out by the end of the day.

[Jennifer]

@Cheryl ... I don't know and I hope not, because I didn't! But then, the only time I drink water is when I put it in the coffeepot and make coffee out of it. It was a major inconvenience; Audrey had to come back today and finish the things she'd started. Such nonsense! xoxo

[sally]

Lawsy mercy, what a time y'all had. Glad it got fixed eventually, though.

I have to comment on Paducah; our dad was born in Wickliffe and ain't that close?

One time I had a cousin say to me, "it's just not far" - I had to think a minute and realized it was not FAIR. :)

XOXO

[Jennifer]

@Sally ... I have no idea where Paducah is (except in Kentucky) or what's near to it ... haaahahaha I am just inordinately fond of alliteration and love the way Paducah sounds with Poughkeepsie and the Poconos. I'm a simple soul. But it's prob'ly not far. xoxo

[Debbie]

oh that southern slang. my son moved to north carolina but i have not heard any changes yet!! they are suppose to notify you ahead of time if they are working on the water, in case there is a problem. i know that because in our old line of work we broke a few water lines and one gas line, the gas line was a real problem....but no one got hurt, thank goodness!!

[Jennifer]

@Debbie ... the fact that they didn't notify us was another dead giveaway that they came out to do one thing and that other thing happened! Haaahahaha xoxo

[Barb]

I looked at the date and I'm pretty sure I heard that commotion right here in Breckenridge! I always shudder when public works or people dealing with cable are nearby. Murphy's Law usually applies. no wire no wire no wire!!!

[Jennifer]

@Barb ... Girl it was ridiculous! Come around to "fix" something and end up breaking it! And they were so loud, I'm not surprised you heard it west of the Mississippi. xoxo