Leopards and pecans

Today if you were out and about in the Midlands of South Carolina where I live, you would likely be wished an ice day.

Yes. An ice day. You would have heard correctly.

Because that's what we're having. Snow too. And sleet. Plus freezing rain.

I do believe several weasels and ferrets have fallen from the sky as well.

According to the weatherman, the worst is yet to come. Tomorrow.

Today however, my wee pool angel once more has frigid flakes on his little head and tiny wings. He endures.

So since I'm stuck indoors, I wanted to tell you something amusing.

I've blogged before about how I tend to hear what was not exactly said.

As in, my ears are like two Chinese telephones.

Last Sunday my unfortunate auditory infirmity manifested itself yet again.

I was in church. TG was on one side of me and Erica on the other.

It was invitation time and we were singing Jesus Paid It All. One of my favorite hymns.

So when it was time to sing the verse that goes:

Lord, now indeed I find

Thy pow'r and Thine alone

Can change the leper's spots

And melt the heart of stone

On that third line, I sang (as I always do, just to mix things up):

Can change the leopard's spots

I meant no disrespect.

It's true: God can change the leopard's spots if He wants to. To stripes or stars or triangles or anything else He wishes.

Even make the leopard leprous, then change him back again.

So step off.

Then because I'd been a tiny bit irreverent and I guess I thought that was cute, I leaned over and whispered to Erica:

I just sang can change the leopard's spots.

She giggled dutifully and before I could look away she caught my eye and whisper-mouthed:

The pecans.

Now what you need to know right here is that in the South we pronounce "pecans" thusly:

PUH-KHANZ

In other words, correctly. Rhymes with the wands. Does not rhyme with pea hands.

So I smiled real big at Erica and then went back to being appropriately reverent and prayerful because after all it was invitation time.

But no sooner had I done so than I had this exact thought:

Huh?

I shot another look at Erica and whisper-mouthed:

The pecans?

She's used to this kind of thing. Me being in a state of bewilderment, that is.

So she repeated, still in a whisper but this time with helpful exaggerated enunciation:

Leprechauns.

Oh. Immediately it all made sense.

My daughter had referenced that time several years ago when, on the way home from church, I asked TG why in his very fine sermon, the preacher had mentioned the children of leprechauns.

I mean, I'm Irish and all that but I really thought leprechauns were mythical and as such did not technically reproduce.

And yet I heard him say it. On a stack of Bibles I did.

TG was patient, as he almost always is when I say ridiculous things. He has had ample practice:

He said children of leper colonies, sweetheart.

Oh.

So apparently I am nuts.

Pecans, that is.

And that is all for now.

Meanwhile, snow and ice continues to accumulate on the palmetto fronds.

Time to batten down the hatches.

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Happy Tuesday

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Comments

[Mari]

I can see that I wouldn't be able to sit next to you in church. Giggling would ensue!

[irene]

Yes, I too couldn't sit in Church with you. We'd be giggling like school girls. My young son once thought the priest said "Prince of Thieves, instead of what he really said was Prince of Peace" I believe he even went to ask him what gives? So you're not alone in your affliction. Your little angel looks so lovely with his flakes, but imagine you are not quite accustomed to this deep freeze. I think we are quite tropical here, it was only -18celcius today, a little colder with the wind chill. I've had my wooly socks on for months now (not the same pair). Keep warm.

[Donna M.]

I have a similar hearing affliction, LOL. May you survive the ice storm ahead and stay warm/safe!

[Glenda]

Haha...well you know my hearing affliction and if it was my left ear you whispered into you wouldn't have gotten a giggle out of me...just a slightly bewildered look. You know into which ear to whisper the funny stuff...I don't want to miss out on the giggles!! Praying you still have power! Electricity that is!

[Donna (Texas)]

Hahahaaa.....shamless.....Hahaaaa
hughugs