Thursday's child has far to go

Henry as a first-grader, circa 1938

A week ago Saturday -- August sixth -- we celebrated Henry's ninetieth birthday.

The big fancy to-do was held in Greenville, a ninety-minute drive from our house.

It was hosted by Henry himself (who footed the bill for almost everything), plus my big sister Kay, and me.

Henry's children bought him this banner for his first 90th birthday party

Kay's daughters Gena and Susanna, who live in Greenville, put in a lot of work on the party too.

It was a smashing success.

I was in charge of the invitations and decor. Our theme colors were black, white, and gold. Susanna helped me get everything set up on the day.

His kids got him this funny t-shirt too

Kay and Gena organized a beautiful spread of food, much of it homemade.

There were forty guests in all.

I put this together at home and brought it with me

Henry was born and grew up in Blue Island, Illinois (a place that is neither blue nor an island, but rather a suburb fifteen miles south of Chicago) on August 4, 1932. 

He made his appearance on his own father's thirtieth birthday.

I've seen all of those movies

In TG's remarks just before we ate, he quoted parts of the nursery rhyme Monday's Child. 

Monday's child is fair of face / Tuesday's child is full of grace / Wednesday's child is full of woe / Thursday's child has far to go ... and so on. 

I complained and got the invitations for free

Henry, who was born on a Thursday and whose ninetieth birthday fell on a Thursday, has certainly had far to go, and seems to have further to go yet.

He has buried two wives and is still in good health.

There was creamed corn, barbecue beans, and watermelon

He was married first, as a young man, to Nancy Gustafson. In twenty-seven years of marriage, they had five children: four daughters and a son.

Nancy died suddenly in December of 1981 at the age of forty-seven, from a brain aneurysm. 

Henry and Nancy ... she died young

My mother had been single for ten years when she visited TG and me for Christmas in 1982.

I was expecting Audrey at the time; Stephanie was two years old.

TG was a basketball coach at the Christian school where he taught Biology and Chemistry. One night we were invited to a Christmas party by the parents of one of his players.

You could read about times gone by as you got your beverage

The couple were lifelong friends of Henry and Nancy Dykstra; thus Henry was at the party.

Henry was very much in the market for a new wife. He took one look at my mother and set his cap for her.

They were married on June 4, 1983.

Henry during his college years

He still cannot believe that he outlived my mother, who would have turned eighty-five this past June. He wasn't expecting that.

Since my father died in 1968, Henry is the only grandpa my children have ever known on my side.

I did not have any chips but they looked really good

He loves all fifteen of Kay's and our half-brother Shawn's and my children, and all twenty-eight of our grandchildren, like his own. He has been a wonderful grandpa and great-grandpa to them, and they love him in return.

Henry's own five children and nine grandchildren live up north and out west. They get together for a few days each year to celebrate the Fourth of July, and this year they threw him a big birthday party during that time.

My big sister, Kay, who is an exceptional cook

So this was his second party, attended by the Carolinas-based families as well as many friends of Mom's and Henry's from the thirty-plus years they have lived in Greenville.

It was a special time and we made some happy memories. Since it's doubtful we'll ever do anything like this again, we made it as nice as possible without spending an inordinate amount of money.

My fairy-lighted birch trees came in handy for the food tables

Because ain't nobody got time for that.

For the invitations, I used a stock design from Walgreens. I know! So pedestrian. But I needed them quickly because I was drawn into the planning for the party a beat or two late.

Henry had a small Bible open at his place

I paid the maximum for shipping in order to get the invites in just a few days, but they were not available until four days after that, and even then TG had to go to the FedEx office and pick them up.

I complained and got a full refund for both the invitations and the shipping cost. Pirate.

Henry was born during the Hoover administration

Once the invitations were sent, I began planning for the party decorations.

I had lots of fourteen-inch round revolving platforms left over from Erica's wedding reception.

Like little lazy susans.

I could have eaten one third of that watermelon

TG spray-painted them a brighter gold, and I bought a pack of twelve-inch black paper doilies.

My niece Gena went to Henry's house and scanned about a dozen pictures of him in his youth, and sent them to me.

I had five-by-seven enlargements made of those, and framed them in clear acrylic holders.

Henry in junior high

At Dollar Tree I found some vases, and from Amazon I bought glitter-gold 90s on nine-inch sticks.

Into the vases I put clear gems and then stuck in one of the 90 sticks alongside a fake but realistic white rose (flowers also left over from Erica's wedding).

Onto the gold-painted lazy susan in the center of each table went a picture of Henry, a vase, and a candle holder with a tea light inside.

The soft fresh buns were for the pulled pork

At home I'd made up a special letterboard sign for the gift table, and another small one for the cake table.

I spent about a dollar fifty per person for the table settings. I got attractive white plastic plates and round gold table coverings, plus plates and forks and napkins for the cake service, at Dollar Tree.

At Walmart I found cups and napkins that matched the black/gold theme, plus clear utensils for the meal. A gold-foil-wrapped Rolo candy was positioned at nine o'clock on each plate.

On each plate was a Rolo candy ... at nine o'clock

Sort of like a party favor. An exceedingly inexpensive -- but delicious -- one.

When it was all put together and the candles were lit, it looked nice. Appropriately festive. Like we'd gone to a bit of trouble. Which we in fact had.

For the food and cake tables, which TG and Susanna put together into an L shape, I brought my two fairy-lit birch trees, plus a larger carousel to hold more pictures of Henry and a few other decorations.

90 ... a piece of cake

Using my nephew's bluetooth speaker, I streamed a long Spotify set entitled A Dreamy Classical Playlist. It was just right.

People! It is not a party without music.

As for the meal itself, Henry had authorized the purchase of a quantity of pulled pork with various sauces, from a local restaurant.

Henry as a young man

My sister and her daughter Gena made creamed corn, barbecue beans, and macaroni and cheese. In addition, there was cole slaw and watermelon and a big bowl of chips. To drink, there was iced tea and lemonade.

Cake and ice cream on gold paper plates with black napkins and white forks, and coffee (served in an assortment of my own mugs brought from home), rounded out the feast.

I chose the spicy sauce for my pulled pork. It was hot.

All of our guests had arrived by one o'clock in the afternoon, and after the aforementioned few introductory remarks and a prayer, we sat down to eat.

I admit that -- again! -- I failed when it came to pictures. I was busy and then everyone was there and talking and laughing and eating, and afterwards it would have been difficult to get all the groups together.

My niece Gena and her daughter Caroline

Looking back, what I should have done is made a list of the pictures I wanted, and then harrassed people until they posed and I got all the shots.

At the very least I should have had Henry with each family, and with each of the other guests or couples.

What I got was Henry with two of the families, and one of him with TG and me. Plus the decor pictures you see here.

Henry with TG and me

My sister insisted on a group picture with all family members, so at least there's that. I don't even know who took it.

Henry wanted to make a sort of speech before he opened his gifts. He has recently been reunited (by phone) with a childhood friend, and he can't stop talking about it.

The last time he heard from or saw this friend was seventy-six years ago, when they were both fourteen years old.

Henry likes to say that if you ain't Dutch, you ain't much

Apparently they attended different high schools.

Henry went on to become a civil engineer. He retired early a few years after marrying my mom, and they traveled around Europe for a few years before settling in Greenville.

My sister and her husband ended up on the Weber side. Click to embiggen.

He's by himself in their big house now, for the most part making his own meals and taking care of cleaning and yard work.

We all wonder how long he can keep that up, but -- you won't believe this -- he's stubborn.

So we shall see.

It took a few tries but he got them all

Although Henry and I are technically not related, as in not blood relatives, he is in effect the last of both TG's and my parents. I hope we have him around for a long time to come.

When he's gone, I will miss him. It will be the end of an era, and possibly like losing my mom again.

Henry Dykstra, Jr.

But his ninetieth birthday was happy as such a milestone should be. He was visibly thrilled, both with everything done on his behalf and with what he was able to do for others.

I'm not sure what more a ninety-year-old could ask.

And that is all for now.

=0=0=0=

Happy Monday

Comments

[betty]

Happy belated birthday to Henry! What an amazing life he has lived so far and I hope he lives many more wonderful years ahead! What a delightful party you all put on for him too, Jenny. You make it sound so easy to pull it all together! And the food always looks and sounds so delicious! It was neat that so many could come and help make his birthday celebration so special! I read both obits of Henry's wives. Both beautiful women and I'm sure lovely both inside and out. You look so much like your mother, Jenny! Again beautiful women both inside and out! Now what is the next celebration for you all? Looking forward to hearing about it when it happens :)

betty

[Ginny Hartzler]

What an amazing man! And he doesn't look near as old as he is. The decorations are super, as well, you chose well. Did anyone ask him the secret to his good health?

[Lori]

What a fabulous celebration!! Everything looked so nice. I love the decorations you put together. Classy and not overdone is always the way to go and you did.
I'm wishing Henry many, many more years.

[Jeanette]

Just the fact that you put a Rolo on each plate at 9 o'clock confirms to me that you are an excellent party planner/decorator! What a wonderful party for Henry's 90th birthday! My parents were both born in 1932 and would have both turned 90 this year! XO

[Bijoux]

Wow! He looks amazing for 90 years young! And 40 people is no laughing matter. You outdid yourself with the decor and I loved how you recycled wedding flowers for this occasion. May Henry live to see his 100th birthday! XO

[Mari]

What a wonderful party! I love what you did with the decorations. The signs about what was happening in the world were genius!
I didn't know the part about how your mom and Henry met. That's great!
I know what a blessing Henry is and has been to your family and this party was a great celebration of him!.

[Jennifer]

@Betty ... Yes both of Henry's wives were lovely ladies and he knows how fortunate he has been in his life. He's a interesting man, a Christian gentleman who lives simply and adheres to concepts that are not very popular anymore! I think it's sad that so many principled people are passing off the scene. We need to step up and carry the torch as they did! xoxo

@Ginny ... No one asked him his secret, but he is a committed Christian who I am sure would have given all the glory to God. I can say that he eats relatively small healthy meals on a schedule, goes to bed early and is up early, and still puts in several hours of physical work almost every day! He has a great deal to be thankful for, and he is grateful! xoxo

@Lori .. Thanks my friend and I do always want to keep it simple, as I think that's more effective. It's certainly easier! But I love having a project and am looking forward to the next one. Henry is more than worth all of the effort! xoxo

@Jeanette ... Haaahaha you like that Rolo, eh? Get this: I did not eat a single one! I am off sugar and I really like that and wasn't about to fall of the wagon for a scrumptious, soft, delicious, smooth chocolate coated caramel ... wait ... waaaaaaaahhhh! Haaahhaa but I just wanted "a little something extra" and that was it. I'm sorry you could not celebrate your parents' 90th birthdays with them. I feel the same about my own mother's eighty-fifth. But weren't you fortunate to have such wonderful parents? Such a blessing. xoxo

@Bijoux ... yes he does look good for 90, and he's still all there, too! He does forget and repeat some things, but that's to be expected. He lives and acts mostly like a man at least ten years younger! xoxo

@Mari ... I wish I could take credit for those signs but Henry's kids bought them for his party in July! I thought they were brilliant too. Such a witty addition to the decor! He loved them. And it was a wonderful time and fitting tribute to a man who is remarkable in many ways. The best part is that he gives God all the glory for anything accomplished with his life. I am still praying for your dear dad, and for you all! xoxo

[Carla TePaske]

Happy Birthday to Henry, what a creative birthday party. I enjoy all the little details that made it so very special.
The food looks delicious.
Prayers for Henry as he continues to navigate life at age 90.. what a treasure of wisdom for your family and others.
xx oo
Carla

[Jennifer]

@Carla ... You are right! He is a treasure and a blessing. xoxo

[Debbi]

Now THAT WAS AN AWESOME PARTY!---i loved it and felt like I actually had an invite and was right there. Happy birthday to Henry!--loved reading all about his life story. I sure loved the decorations too, y'all did a great job on the food and decorations!! I loved the posters so much I immediately went to order some for hubby's upcoming birthday, but they only come in rounded numbers such as 40, 50, 60, 70, 90, etc..........no 53 or 62 or 71, ha ha LOL LOl. Anyway...the signs/posters were amazing! How is Dagny and her cast coming along? I love your black and white dress, you always look so pretty! Hugs!

[Jennifer]

@Debbi ... awww well you can order your hubby some of those at his next big milestone birthday! They were so much fun to read and made great decorations. Thank you for the compliments. We felt that all our efforts paid off as Henry was so happy with his special occasion. Dagny's cast comes off next Monday! We are planning a cast-off party, haaahaha! xoxo

[Gayla]

Wonderful party! That was a lovely tribute. I'm sure he really had a great time. It's all in those wonderful, thoughtful details you always add!

[Jennifer]

@Gayla ... Thank you my friend! We were happy with the results and Henry loved every minute! xoxo

[Donna]

Speaking of recipes...I posted the two that you wanted at the end of my latest post.
Praying for TG! Hope he feels better soon...
Your mother was beautiful...you have her smile!
My FIL is now 97...still living in the big house alone, caring for himself. He just renewed his driver's license!
Your babies are growing up so fast! Beauties!
hughugs
Donna