Yes. No. Maybe. I Don't Know ...

What do two Hollywood feature films -- one starring Johnny Depp, the other starring Tom Hanks -- and a small needlepoint pillow in my living room have in common? Not much except that together, they inspired this post ... sort of. Allow me to elaborate. The title of this blog entry is a direct quote from the brilliant Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a tour de force for none other than my favorite actor (as amazing chocolatier Willy Wonka, whose line it was). So now you understand that part; 'k? As for the pillow, it bears the time-honored adage: "If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it." And one of my favorite lines from the 2000 Tom Hanks classic Cast Away goes something like this: "Just stay put and see what the tide brings in." Does anyone but me see the wisdom of both of these bits of advice, but have difficulty reconciling the two?

Occasionally I am asked to report a deposition in one of the many small towns that prettify South Carolina. On the way to a whole string of such towns due south of Columbia -- any one of which might be my destination on any given day -- when I merge from one road onto another I pass by a pair of signs that always make me laugh. Taken alone neither one would be particularly funny unless you were really desperate for a chuckle, but as it happens they are no more than fifteen feet apart. The first one reads something like this: "Stay in your lane" ... and the second reads something like this: "Lane ends. Merge left." No sooner have you had time to obey the first command than you are directed to do the opposite. A mite confusing. One must be on one's toes to operate an automobile on South Carolina's roadways. You heard it here first.

How about this ... those who know and love the Lord want to see His face; right? I mean, if you love someone, you want to be with them; right? And no place is more beautiful than Heaven; right? Heaven is Jesus's home and He has gone ahead to prepare a place for us; right? I certainly want to go there ... someday. But not today. Please Lord, not today! I need more time! Lots more! Anyone within the sound of my voice think all this is a little odd? Is this what is meant by the expression "mixed signals"? Could it be we are always talking out of both sides of our mouths ... at least to a certain extent?

It all reminds me of an old Jimmy Durante lyric:

Did you ever get the feeling that you wanted to go,
But still had the feeling that you wanted to stay.
You knew it was right, wasn't wrong.
Still you knew you wouldn't be very long.
Go or stay, stay or go,
Start to go again and change your mind again.

It's hard to have the feeling that you wanted to go,
But still have the feeling that you wanted to stay.
Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do.
I'll go.
I'll stay ...

I once read an interesting book by Sheldon Vanauken entitled A Severe Mercy. In it the author examines this very issue, and he comes up with a solution that satisfies me. It's simple and easy to remember: the reason we fight all our lives against the clock and the calendar is because although we live in time, we were made for eternity. Our souls will live somewhere for all eternity, but while we live we exist within the boundaries of time as we know it. I'd better quit while I'm ahead or before you begin to think I have embraced existentialism.

But first let me share with you an excerpt from The Solace of Leaving Early by one of my top ten favorite authors of all time, the miraculous Haven Kimmel. My mother gave me this book for an early Christmas because I asked for it by name and that's the sort of mother I've got. I've been slowly savoring the book for the past month (as time allowed, heh heh). Tonight I happened upon this passage dealing with our longing for a different life and different circumstances even though the ones we have are perfectly fine and are generally making us as happy as anyone can expect to be:

... at the outset of every moment of concrescence, there are, in the Primordial mind of God, all the pure possibilities for the outcome of that occasion, moment by moment, day by day, for every actual thing: you, me, the dogs, the government, geraniums. And all God desires is beauty and goodness, the harmonious resolution of contrasts. We are happiest, I believe, and God is certainly happiest, when we allow ourselves to fall into beauty. God is luring us there, even now, breath by breath ...

... we have abandoned an infinite number and variety of pure possibilities, and perhaps they live alongside the choices we did make, immortalized in the cosmic memory. Perhaps there are unknown lives walking alongside ours, those paths we didn't take, and we reach for them, we ache for them, and don't know why. We have, none of us, lived our lives as we ought to have, and maybe that's a good, working definition of sin. God doesn't care, the angels don't care, no one is mad at us for our failures. But what agony, to know our better selves, the life we might have lived is there, just out of reach!

I watched It's A Wonderful Life at least six times this past Christmas season. Oh, I didn't sit and watch every minute of it six times ... I think I only did that once ... but I had it playing as I did other things, and I listened, and I enjoyed it as much or more than I ever have. I love that movie because George Bailey learns the lesson that of all the choices he made and many he had forced upon him, the best one was that he was an honest, true, obedient servant of mankind and, ultimately, of God ... even though he said he was "not a praying man." Shame, that ... but I'll bet if there had been a sequel to that film (horrors!) George Bailey would have been more of a praying man. After all, when the bell on the tree rings at the end and Zuzu pipes up: "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings," George winks Heaven-ward. He gets it. Through all the mixed signals life throws at us, one thing never changes: God. And what He wants from us is always the same: simple obedience and the faith of a child.

Speaking of Zuzu, I was reading on IMDb a few weeks ago that Karolyn Grimes, the actress who played Zuzu, had been interviewed on a Chicago radio station in 2005. During the interview Karolyn/Zuzu, who will turn 68 on July 4, 2008, stated that she would answer emails sent to zuzu@zuzu.net. So on December 15th I wrote to her, thanking her for her work not only as Zuzu Bailey, but also as Debby Brougham in The Bishop's Wife, another of my favorite holiday movies. With all the hubbub surrounding Christmas, I promptly forgot that I had written to "Zuzu." But coincidentally, while I was composing this blog, I checked my emails and look what I found:

Hello Jennifer,

Thank you for writing. I always enjoy hearing from folks who love these films as I do. Family is the true backbone of this country and this movie gives us a chance to remember and renew in our hearts how important that it really is. May you always have the ability to find the good in every path that you choose. Life is not always wonderful but we have been given the great gift of making our own choices. Always keep the magic of these films in your heart and remember that each of us has our own Clarence watching over us.

God Bless,

Karolyn Grimes/Zuzu Bailey

To that I can add nothing so I simply say: Amen.

Comments

[Audrey]

I must say that this post has helped me a great deal and came at just the right time. I loved the excerpt from Haven's book,I printed it out and I read it over and over marvelling at how true it is. Thanks luv!

[Jennifer]

You're welcome, darling! If you are blessed, then so am I.

[Sue O]

I'm kind of watching your Johnny in Alice while I'm reading your old posts. Just sayin'.

[Jennifer]

Sue O ... Then I would say that is very appropriate! I happen to be my darling Johnny's most avid fan. He knows it too ... LOL!