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Joy comes in the mourning
Tuesday, January 18, 2011 at 11:44PM 
It was one of the easiest things we've ever done and one of the hardest things we've ever had to do.
Burying our beloved Dad and Grandpa, that is.
The easy part came in the complete lack of despair, regret, remorse, anger and hopelessness that is sometimes so painfully evident at funerals.
Grandpa was up in years and had not been well. We'd all told him how we felt about him; he knew he was loved and that none of us wanted him to go.
The week between Christmas and New Year's Day, TG and Andrew had gone to see Grandpa in Ohio. They bundled him up one afternoon and took him to Pettisville, to the farm where he was born.
He hadn't the strength to leave the truck, but several relatives and neighbors came to his window to hold his hand and chat with him. It was a happy and life-affirming experience.
Grandma.Six days later he was taken down by the stroke. Four days after that, he passed on.
So, honoring him and memorializing his life was easy and even a joyous process despite the fact that it is always heartbreaking to lose a loved one.
Which led to the hard part: saying goodbye.
At least for now.
We believe, and take on faith, that Grandpa is in heaven with the Lord, Whom he trusted entirely for his salvation.
Jesus said ... I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.
John 11:25-26, King James Bible
And so as we gathered last Thursday to pay our respects and receive our guests, our hearts were heavy but not without hope. We grieved and there were tears but there were also plenty of smiles and even a lot of laughter.
One granddaughter (Roxy, left) and two great-granddaughters: Carly (middle) and Jaclyn.
The union of Stanley and Dolly Weber has resulted in forty-three people being added to the family if you count their children, their grandchildren, their great-grandchildren, and all spouses.
Two of my personal favorites are our nephews Justin and Dan.
Grandsons Justin (left) and Dan.
They were good buddies of Grandpa's, too.
TG and his only brother, Ron, are always the handsomest guys in the place. They're very tall.
The sons: Ron (left) and Greg.
Their beautiful and sweet only little sister, Ruth Anne, treasures her beautiful and sweet only grandchild, little Alexis.
Ruthie and Alexis.Great-grandson Collin stationed himself by the outside door. He was a greeter, as it were.
Collin Weber.
Grandpa was surrounded by so many flowers. I loved his red-rose casket spray.
There was a video playing continuously during visitation. It was a tear-jerker. This picture in particular is a family favorite. It's Greg and Ron being embraced by their dad mere moments after they placed first and second in a Rossford High School track event.
Erica and Andrew watched intently.
Grandchildren Erica and Andrew.
Among many other things, Grandpa was a World War II veteran.
Greg and Ron were overjoyed to spend time with Bill Hoerr, the Christian businessman who led them both to Christ in the early '70s.
(l to r) Greg, Bill, Ron.
Grandpa's grandchildren and great-grandchildren paid their respects many times throughout the evening. Considering the gravity of the situation, I was impressed by their poise and absence of dread.
Toward the end of visitation, when all of the friends had gone home, grandson Todd, Ron, and Greg spent a few last moments with Grandpa. Andrew's over there too but you can hardly see him.
The day of the funeral was cold and snowy, but the sweet smiles of the little ones warmed all who met them.
These children are being carefully brought up as per the Biblical model: in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I am so thankful for their Godly parents.
Great-grandchildren (l to r) Travis, Lauryn, and Taylor.
A placard announced that Grandpa's funeral was the event of the day.
My son Andrew, the youngest biological grandchild (our darling Roxy is younger but she was adopted from Romania) and Angie, the oldest grandchild, sang Jesus Led Me All The Way during Grandpa's funeral.
My favorite verse is the middle one: If God should let me there review / The winding paths of earth I knew / It would be proven clear and true / Jesus led me all the way. Jesus led me all the way / Led me step by step each day / I will tell the saints and angels as I lay my burdens down / Jesus led me all the way.
Grandchildren Andrew and Angie.
I wish you could have heard it. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to video it. Oh well. I was busy crying.
Keeping one's pirate eyeliner in place can be complicated at such a time.
Angie's husband, Steve Hobbins, officiated at the funeral. He is pastor of the Lewis Avenue Baptist Church in Temperance, Michigan.
Here are Steve and Angie with Bill Hoerr and four of their beautiful children. They also have a little son, Steve Junior. They call him J.R.
Back row l to r: Jaclyn Hobbins, Bill Hoerr, Steve Hobbins, Angie Hobbins. Front row l to r: Carly, Lauryn, and Lindy.
Finally it was time to carry Grandpa out. His six grandsons, a nephew, and our son-in-law were the pallbearers.
Borne to the waiting hearse by Johnathan Klempner, Justin Klempner, Dan Weber, David Weber, Todd Weber, Andrew Weber, Jerry Weber, and Joel Bixler.
Mark Wasylyshyn, Sheriff of Wood County, Ohio, is a longtime family friend. He led the cortege to the cemetery but first showed great respect for Grandpa as the casket was loaded into the hearse.
Sheriff Wasylyshyn.
And just like that, Grandpa was ready for his last ride.
It seemed like such a long ride through the snowy countryside to Grandpa's final resting place. Once there, the pallbearers, directed by brothers Mark and Brian from the wonderful Sujkowski Funeral Home of Rossford, waited for the signal.
The awesome Brian.We sat in the mausoleum for what sufficed as a graveside service. It was too bitterly cold to stand around outside.
Grandma received Grandpa's flag.
Brian then distributed the roses from Grandpa's casket spray, one to each family member. I loved this part.
We were, after all, the flowers in Grandpa's garden.
Ron stood to watch everything.
Joel, Stephanie, and Audrey were behind me. Their faces tell the whole story.
My rose.
Outside again, TG and I posed with two of our best friends in all the world: Jess and Kathy Fleming. They drove several hours that morning to attend the funeral.
Photo by Erica Weber.
There was too much ice and snow for the pallbearers to carry Grandpa to his grave, so the workers did it. TG stopped the car as we left so that I could take the pictures.
It was hard to drive away. Later that night my children struggled with leaving Grandpa alone there. Of course we know he does not feel the cold, but I guess we felt it for him. It was rough.
I'll write more later but until I do, if you'd like to see additional photos, click on the picture of Andrew below.
But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.
For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.
For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:
Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
Wherefore comfort one another with these words.
I Thessalonians 4:13-18, King James Bible
Reader Comments (13)
Now THAT was a funeral. I love that the pallbearers actually carried the coffin. Around here, they roll it on a cart and the pallbearers just walk with it. What's with that? How is Grandma doing? Lovely photo record, Jenny. You should make a book of it. Think how treasured it would be by all his progeny.
Golly, I sound ADD. Too many thoughts and not much coherence. Sorry.
It looks like it was a wonderful service, befitting the man that he was. Looking at the pictures got me all teary.
I know what you mean about the laughter and tears. We did that at my Mom's funeral too. What a blessing to be able to laugh, knowing where our loved ones are!
Bless your heart...have missed you!
We've been to so many family funerals over the last few years...I never thought to document them like this...a treasure!
Sending you lots of love and hugs!!
hughugs
A beautiful posted tribute, to a very much loved man.
Gentle hugs...
@Hobbit ... you don't have ADD ... or if you do, you put it to excellent use! Yes, it was a lovely and God-honoring funeral that never succumbed to the dreaded treacly smarminess we are often subjected to at such times. It was real and it was beautiful. I too loved it that the boys actually carried Grandpa. Although it was largely ceremonial, it was very moving. No pun intended ...
@Mari ... thank you for your tears. I knew you'd understand and I'm sure your mother's funeral was as poignant as could be, with all your loving family and the wonderful memories. What blessings God bestows on those who, despite their shortcomings, purpose in their hearts to serve and glorify Him.
@Donna ... I regret there are certain shots I did not get, like for example pictures of all the families as groups. We were ALL there and it would have been a great opportunity. But it was not a family reunion, as much as it seemed so. I think I managed to get at least one picture of every family member and that will have to do for now. Sadly, as the years go by I'm sure there will be other opportunities.
@AA ... I need those hugs. Thanks, luvvy.
It's obvious the man was deeply loved and honoured, what a wonderful tribute to him. Sending you thoughts of comfort.
Oh, I am sorry for your loss. I love, though, how your grandfather was a believer and how he was able to visit his farm and his neighbors one last time. That was really special and the timing, amazing.
Thank-you so much for visiting my blog this week and for your kind comment! Do come by again! Blessings, Debra
@Irene ... thanks for the thoughts, luv, I need 'em. Thanks too for the book, which I am dying to sit and read and read and read. I'm gonna send you a book too!
@Debra ... discovering your blog was a great delight. Thanks for stopping by and looking at pictures of folks you don't even know! It means a lot.
What a nice send off, and the pictures are great.
Thank you, Jenny for posting this about your father-in-law! Your blog let me peek into your lives. The Weber family and our family were all brought to the Lord around the same time. Our Bible studies with Bill will always be remembered by us. It is such a blessing to see how God has blessed each of our family with godly spouses and children. God is so good and true to his Word.
The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.
Jenny,
I took until now to really look at length and depth. Parting truly is such sweet sorrow when the loved one who has gone on before is a child of the King. You know you will see them again some day, but the heart cannot avoid dying just a little.
Your pictures and commentary were poignant and beautiful. I was reminded of my wife's grandma's passing just a year ago. It was much the same in that she had led a long life of devotion to God and others and so many people came to pay respects. So many friends with lifelong love for Marva Ballentine and the joy, peace and comfort she brought to their lives.
God bless you and your family.
As always, Jenny, you manage words masterfully. I'm sure they bring comfort, hope, and strength to all your family.
God bless you for sharing,
Tony