What is your emergency
What I'm about to tell you happened, I believe, in early December. It could have been late November.
It's all been a blur.
At any rate, one sunny and mild day in recent memory, I opened my front door and looked outside and then to my left, down the porch, as I do every day.
You never know when a possum or a package may be on your doorstep, so it's my habit to check.
On this particular day, as I noticed more or less immediately, it was not so much about what may be on my porch, as it turned out to be about what wasn't on it.
As in, our large American flag that flies at the far end, was glaringly in absentia.
Just, gone. Flag pole and all.
The reason I noticed, and the reason I look out at it several times a day, is that since it's all about freedom, I like for our flag to fly free.
But the wind sometimes whips it all around, so when I take a gander outside, I glance at the flag and if it needs freeing, I walk the seventeen-or-so steps down there and take a moment to unwind it.
Sometimes (but rarely) a corner of the flag has caught on something above it, at the edge of the roof, and I have to go back inside and grab a grabber, with which to gently loose it.
But this time, the flag was neither wound up nor hung up. It wasn't up there at all.
Before panicking, I trotted down to the flag end of the porch and peered over the railing. Once, a year or so ago, there was a violent storm and the entire bracket holding the flag failed, sending everything crashing to the ground.
But we hadn't had a storm this time, and our star spangled banner had not been wrenched from its base by the fingers of Mother Nature and flung afield.
Call TG, then call the law
So I ventured back inside the house, traversed the foyer and hall, hooked a right, and walked the length of the kitchen so as to go out into the garage.
I hit the button to raise the garage door, to allow for strong clear light, and searched for the flag.
Maybe TG took it down and wrapped it up and laid it aside in here for some reason I don't know of, was my thinking.
(Although that was highly unlikely, I wanted to cover my bases.)
The flag was not in the garage. I walked around outside too, wanting to be sure the flag hadn't sprouted wings and flown a distance and taken its stand elsewhere.
Could you blame it? I'm sure sometimes these days, it wants to.
But it hadn't.
So I called TG.
Did you take the flag down from out front? I said.
No, he said.
Are you sure? I said.
Yes, he said.
OK well it's gone, I said.
Gone? he said.
Yes; gone. Completely one hundred percent G-O-N-E and no mistake. Someone came up onto our porch last night and took it, I said.
Silence. Then: Call 911.
I should pull over here and park for a mo.
Because you may be wondering how I knew what had happened to our flag, and when it had happened.
So I will tell you.
Because of the way our house is built, and the lot it was built upon, you have to climb fifteen steps to reach our front door. Then if you want to get to where that flag is, you have to walk at least seventeen normal adult-sized steps to the end of the porch.
In addition, the flag pole is fastened into a bracket that holds it securely.
The flag and pole were not cheap; when our former patriotic display was wrecked, TG took me to a home improvement store where he let me pick out what I wanted, and I got the best American flag setup available there.
The flag itself is five feet by three feet -- not huge, I realize, but still -- and it's a nice flag, and it's heavy. The pole to which it is affixed is also heavy. The bracket holding said pole is strong. To get the pole out of the bracket you have to be strong enough to loosen the screw that holds the pole in the bracket. You also have to be standing right beside it.
I don't suggest it's all that difficult an action to perform. Only that, it is a deliberate one.
Oh and that bracket? It's nine feet off the ground.
I measured.
So there's no getting to the flag from standing on the ground beneath it. Unless you're nine feet tall yourself or you brought a ladder or have the ability to scale brick, you're not going to loosen and remove that flag from a position down below the porch.
Even so, when TG said to call 911, even the pirate thought that a trifle extreme.
Really? I said.
Yes, he said. When they answer, say immediately that it is not an emergency, but you'd like to know how to report a theft of property.
So I did that.
Tell me about it
Nine One One what is your emergency? the male voice said, when I'd punched in the three digits and waited a beat.
It's not an emergency, I said. But I need to know how to report a theft of property.
OK what happened? the voice said.
Someone came up onto our porch last night and stole our large American flag, I said. Flag pole and all. It was there yesterday and now it's not.
Silence (I assumed he was typing) and then: Is the suspect still in the area?
? ? ? ? ?
I will have to admit to sounding exasperated (because I was) when I said: Did you actually hear a single thing I just said?
The 911 operator responded quickly and with great force compared to my level of exasperation, which was semi-low (for me) thusly:
Jennifer. Jennifer. Jennifer!
? ? ? ? ?
I was like, whoa, dude. That's my name; don't wear it out.
But I said: I just got done telling you ten seconds ago that our flag was stolen last night, during the night. How in the name of all that makes any sense whatsoever could I possibly know the identity of the suspect, or his/her whereabouts at this moment? He/she could be standing in my kitchen sipping cider and I wouldn't know because I have no way of divining the identity of the individual who had the audacity to come up onto our porch last night and steal the flag while it was pitch black dark and we were most likely asleep.
(This even though there are fairy lights all along the porch, both coming up the steps and extending the length of the railing. They are on all the time, but they are more for effect than for illumination.)
He said: I'm just asking because we have to ask.
Which in my opinion, being translated, means: I have a script and I am required to read it no matter what you say. It's easier than actually listening and phrasing my response accordingly.
(Bear in mind this is the first -- make that second -- time in my life that I have called 911. The first time was more than five years ago, when our security alarm sounded in the wee hours, during a violent storm.)
(Turned out it was a problem with a sensor on our front door. And when I called 911 that time (while TG went to investigate), and it was an actual (or at least potential actual) emergency, the person on the other end of the line may have asked whether the suspect was still in the area. I don't remember.)
(But if he did, it would have been a valid question, since in that case the suspect could have been in the next room, or raiding the refrigerator.)
Back to the present -- or at least the more recent past. The 911 operator decided that he would dispatch a patrol car to my house.
But first he asked whether I had a fever, or had tested positive for Covid, or had been exposed to Covid, even in my dreams -- either waking or sleeping -- or in my vivid imagination, or had ever been infected with Covid, even before I was born, or if I had ever heard of Covid, or could spell the word Covid, or pronounce it, or if I knew of anyone who had ever heard of Covid or ever, no matter how long ago or for any reason, had a temperature, or had a relative, regardless of how distant, or a friend, even one living in another city and another state or another country or in a galaxy far far away, who had any personal knowledge of Covid or had read about it or spoken the word Covid out loud or had a degree of fever or tested positive in either or both nostrils, or if I was thinking about getting Covid at some future time, depending upon the stock market.
No, I assured him. I may have said no three times in quick succession, getting louder and more italicized each time, just as he had uttered my name.
(Oh please do forgive my sarcasm; I do not excel at the whole 'rona routine. Nor do I aspire to.)
Signs of the times
So we rang off -- parting as neither friends nor enemies -- and I waited maybe five minutes, and the po po (I mean no disrespect; just chuckle already) arrived.
The law came in the form of an amiable young female officer, who parked on the street and walked up the driveway.
I stood on the porch beside my empty flag pole bracket and greeted her.
We talked over what had happened. She wasted no time in pointing out that, well, we did still have certain signs in our yard relative to the recent presidential election.
Clue to you: We are conservatives. Not a fiber of our beings -- either TG's or mine -- is liberal. In fact, speaking only for myself, I'd rather be dead than a liberal.
Yes! You read that correctly.
Liberal ideology causes human misery and suffering on a scale known only to God, to Whom we will all someday answer, and Who will deal with each and every one of the human beings He created, in His own time and in His own way. Conservatives, while far from perfect and not averse to oft-egregious transgression against the Almighty -- more's the pity -- do not cotton to tyranny.)
If any or all of the above vexes you, it's probably high time you walked the plank clicked out.
But before you do, please know that I have black neighbors and I have white neighbors. My black neighbor happens to be a dear and cherished friend, for whom I pray and who assures me that he prays for me and my family. Neighbor folk in the immediate vicinity to my home -- regardless of their skin color -- get a full-sized loaf of fresh-baked banana nut bread and a card on Christmas Eve. I'm just festive that way.
They bring or send treats and cards to us, as well. We have no quarrel whatsoever with any neighbor. Everyone on our street is friendly and courteous and looking out for everyone else, ready to help if the need should arise.
(Well, there was that thing with the Bothertons next door in the summer of 2013, which I told you about in 2014, after introducing them to you in 2012. But we're friends now. Bygones.)
(And there is William across the way cater-cornered from us, who revvs his Harley Davidson in the garage a little too often and a lot too loudly for my taste. But then I'm a card-carrying curmudgeon who suffers from misophonia, or aversion to sound.)
(But William is a conservative son of the South, and he is my new neighbor, and I am assured by a relative of his who has long been a friend of our family, that he is good people, as was his widowed grandmother who lived in that house before him and was our neighbor for many years, but passed on last year, resulting in William inheriting the place and prompting he and Angela to move in. So they got banana nut bread on Christmas Eve too.)
Speaking of moving, let's move on.
With typical pirate heat, I said to the police officer standing in my driveway, in response to her political sign observation: So? It's still a free country for about fifteen more minutes.
I felt like the girl who's accused of having asked for it because she wore her skirt too short.
Because the last time I checked, ours is a two-party system and there were two viable (well; depending upon whom you ask) candidates running for President of the United States, and you got to go to the polls and vote for whichever one you pleased. Am I wrong?
The officer laughed loudly enough for the aforementioned neighbors (who were already peering through their curtains) to hear, throwing her head back the way people do when they are sincerely amused and not just being polite. I think she really did find my rejoinder refreshing.
But I meant it.
On top of things
We chatted a little more about this and that. I asked the officer how she has fared throughout the furor of recent months, given her difficult job.
She said she's done remarkably well, and has been treated with both respect and concern, probably even more so because she is a woman.
I was glad to hear it. I thanked her for all that she and her fellow officers do to protect and serve us.
(I guess we're not all racist sexist ignorant boors down here in Dixie after all.)
Finally she wondered if I wanted a report written up and we decided against that, but she had some advice for us:
It's time to get a camera at your front door, she said. One with a motion-sensor light attached.
I agreed and we talked that over for a moment.
And she took her leave.
Later that day, TG arrived back home. He came to find me, to give me both my kiss and some information.
The flag is on the roof, he said.
? ? ? ? ?
OK maybe I should tell you at this point that I have checked and, if something is on our roof -- especially far from the edge of it, as the flag was -- it's almost impossible to see it, even from the curb, due to the house being set higher than the street and ours being a relatively low-pitched roof.
You can't see anything on the roof at all, if you're not on the street. And I hadn't gone to the street to look on the roof because I would have expected Johnny Depp to appear on my doorstep, proffering a pink polka-dot possum, before it would have occurred to me that my flag -- still on its pole -- was lying on my roof.
Looking at the picture of my house, try to imagine how a person would throw a flag, on its pole, up onto the roof of said house, from the ground. Or even from the porch. I'll wait.
And yes; I realize it was probably a juvenile prank and as such, not likely to have been a much-premeditated act of suburban vandalism.
As I've explained, we have no fight with any neighbor, of any color, not even the Harley owners, and not even the Bothertons.
But disrespect of the flag bothers me. It bothers me a great deal. And it should bother everyone.
I have a dream
In recent days there has been a billboard in our area featuring a picture of the late Martin Luther King, Jr.
The dream is alive, the sign assures passers-by.
I read it aloud as we were driving past, and TG said words to this effect: Wouldn't it be nice if it really were alive? I'd go along with that.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Dr. King would not recognize what is being done today, much of it in his name.
I have that same dream for my four children who are no longer little, as well as for my six grandchildren, who are.
(One is not even born yet, and you know how perilous a state that can be for some children, born (or unborn) in the USA, land of the once-free and home of the bravely watching but shockingly bereft of a moral compass.)
But I see that they will now be routinely vilified because they are white -- a condition beyond their control -- and that assumptions about their character will forever more be made, and accusations leveled, and rights removed, based solely upon the color of their skin along with -- gasp! -- adherence to traditional values.
And the same must from henceforth and forever be true of us as well, no matter what we do or say to illustrate the falsity of that wicked all-consuming narrative.
That's because love of -- and loyalty to -- one's country equals racism in the lie-loving loony-lib-lobotomized frontal lobe of the leftist, whose hatred of their country flies in the face of all decency.
Especially the elite, champagne-socialist limousine leftists like Congressindividual Alexandria Occasional-Cortex, who whined to Rachel Madcow that on January sixth she did not even want to be in a safe room with white Republicans, because she feared that, in a frenzy of white supremacist bloodlust, they would kill her.
Search her office and find out what she's smoking, please. That kook is more a danger to herself and others than all white Republicans put together, even if they were to be found dancing gangnam-style in the Capitol rotunda, inebriated and wearing cossack outfits, brandishing the firearms normally reserved and approved only for the protection of politicians.
Sixty feet of social distancing wouldn't be enough for me when it comes to that crazy chick.
If America is so awfully racist towards non whites, why do tens of millions of them flock to her borders (and will soon be welcomed in, carte blanche -- or should I say carte noir), while countless others live comfortably off of her, even while hating her guts and seeking to destroy her?
That makes no sense at all, mate.
Old Glory needs freeing. All that she represents has been hijacked and is being held hostage by those whose lost souls seethe with loathing for America.
They've thrown her out of sight and if they have their way, she -- as we have had the privilege to know her -- will soon be gone forever.
So yes; the suspect is still in the area. And yes; it turns out that we do have, in fact, a legitimate emergency.
God bless the United States of America and confound her enemies, both foreign and domestic.
Especially domestic.
May the sweet fire of true fervent patriotism and deep love of country -- and of one's neighbor, no matter his skin color -- never be extinguished. Regardless of the cost.
And that is all for now.
Except to say: Let not your heart be troubled ... and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
Not awoman, à la the Left Reverend Ewomanuel Cleaver, upon the vast limitless subject of whose prodigious and problematic ignorance I shall not expound because it would be an insult less to his intelligence, than to my own.
Ain't nobody got time for dat.
Although I will point out that he's got more melanin than mental capacity.
I guess I really should be going now.
=0=0=0=
Happy Tuesday
Reader Comments (18)
Jenny, I wish sometimes you would be honest and tell us what you really think...(do you know I'm being facetious, here)? I hope for this: "May the sweet fire of true fervent patriotism and deep love of country -- and of one's neighbor, no matter his skin color -- never be extinguished." Strength of character and responsibility for our actions are ever more important. Keep the faith - I know you will. And I'm glad your flag once lost was found.
@Barb ... haahahaaha yeah you know me. I'm glad my flag was found too. And that you're my friend. xoxo
I forgot about the Bothertons! I refreshed my memory by reading both posts and laughed all over again!
The flag - isn't it sad that you have to think that just because you vote for someone, you run the risk of being vandalized? I am glad you found the flag though.
The state of the country is sad indeed, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow and certainly worried about what damage will happen when the liberals take overl. I hang on to the fact that God is still in control!
@Mari ... yeah I was digging at the Bothertons pretty good back in the day, but it was all (or mostly) in fun. They're okay and I've even grown fond of them. A little. Hahahaha ... yep, laugh or you'll cry. I grieve for my country and I grieve for the president and his family. God help us. xoxo
Oh, girl....you and I are definitely on the same wave length!!! I would expound, but you have done that so very well:) There are some pranks that just shouldn't be done and bothering your flag is one of them...glad it was found but I sure would like to know how it got up there!!! Like you, my heart is so grieved over what is going on in our country. For liberals to call me privileged because I'm white...or for the likes of Katy Couric who think I need reprogamiming...well, I'd better not put here what I'd like to say to them. I have never been "privileged" in my life other than privileged to have been given a life at all by the good Lord. I taught white, black, Hispanic, Indian children for over 30 years and loved each and every one and never saw color. I have black neighbors who I am very nice to (even though one family is not nice to any of the rest of us). It makes me sick that liberals think I don't have a right to the same free speech they do. OK...I said I wasn't going to expound and I went on a rampage. I will shut up but sure do have a lot more to say!!! Sure wish you were my neighbor (instead of those who live next door). We could have a cup of coffee and a slice of pound cake and talk for hours. I so love your blog...you make me laugh but also think.
@Cheri ... Hahahaha love your attitude! Especially the part about pound cake and coffee! I WAS privileged to live for several years next door to one of my best friends. She is older than me but we just saw eye to eye on almost everything. But she never catered to me nor I to her; it was a free exchange of ideas. So ... we have an accord! Katie Couric can pound sand. Like my daughter, who cleans houses for a living, says: Let me put down my mop and broom so that I can pick up my white privilege! We're in what some call desperate times ... and I grieve for my country and what we have lost. But the Lord brought this verse to mind last night: These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33 xoxo
THANK YOU!!!!!
I have ceased blogging for now at least. Finding it too hard, to just blog, as is "proper," in "Pretty Blog Land." Just pretty stuff, and books I have read, and etc., just 'sticks in my craw'.....
I am living in my own "Snow Globe".... That area, which I can see. It is the only place, in which, I can maintain my health.
Love,
Gentle hugs,
Courage!!!
@Mari-Nanci ... I hear you. But I miss you and we need to be reminded of the pretty stuff, because that stuff comforts our hearts with truth. Please come back when you can. You are in my thoughts and prayers, my friend. Do not despair. xoxo
Well, I'm glad you found your flag. Too bad that police officer didn't see it on the roof when she pulled up! Disrespecting the flag is disrespecting every soldier who died for the freedom it represents! I love this post and although I don't put any political stuff on my blog I 100% agree with everything you said.
@Jeanette ... good point you make about why the officer didn't see it. I asked the same question but TG said if you weren't looking specifically for something on the roof, you wouldn't have noticed it. She and I were talking as she approached the house so she can't be blamed -- although I too wish she had seen it. I understand your blog policy but thanks for reading and for commenting! xoxo
Hello Jenny,
I am happy your flag was found. As a mother of an active citizen soldier, I would have been so angry to have my flag treated in the manner that your flag was. I think you handled it well.
I agree with you in all that you shared with us.
Praying! Love, Carla
“Without God, there is no virtue, because there’s no prompting of the conscience. Without God, we’re mired in the material, that flat world that tells us only what the senses perceive. Without God, there is a coarsening of the society. And without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure. If we ever forget that we’re one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.”
President Ronald Reagan
August 23, 1984
@Carla ... WONDERFUL quote by the inimitable and much-missed Ronaldus Magnus, God rest his soul! And God please raise up men who loved and love our country as he did, and as DJT does -- regardless of their faults, of which both had plenty, AS DO THEIR VILE DETRACTORS. And I agree that as the mother of a soldier, it's a bitter pill when someone defaces our flag. And conquer we must, for our cause it is just. xoxo
How interesting that Katy couric says we need deprogramming. Do people really need to be programmed ? That's sets off some red flags to me. Love your blog and your spicy personality
Keep on keeping on. ❤️
@Sharon ... Red flags indeed. Katie Couric is the poster child for "Liberalism is a mental disorder." According to The Washington Times, here was the exchange between her and Bill Maher, who is similarly mentally impaired, and for the same reason (it bears mentioning that neither of these mental midgets found anything wrong with the rioting, killing, burning, looting, and destruction of federal property that has transpired, thanks to the whiny entitled left, in multiple cities since late last May, and continues to this day):
Ms. Couric made her comments after Mr. Maher said he was more worried about the “loons” in Congress than the Trump supporters who stormed the U.S. Capitol in the January 6 riot.
“Because, I mean, what do you do about these people? There’s 147 Republicans in Congress who still don’t concede that Trump lost the election,” Mr. Maher said. “What do you do about people who are in the government who don’t believe in our way of government?”
“It is so shocking,” Ms. Couric responded. “Not only are they not conceding, Bill, but there are thoughts that there might have been some collusion among members of Congress, some are refusing to go through magnetometers or whatever you call them to check for weapons, they’re not wearing masks during the siege. I mean, it’s really bizarre, isn’t it, when you think about how AWOL so many of these members of Congress have gotten.
“But I also think some of them are believing the garbage that they are being fed 24/7 on the internet, by their constituents, and they bought into this big lie,” she continued. “And the question is how are we going to really almost deprogram these people who have signed up for the cult of Trump.”
All the while, it is the left who believe the garbage they're fed 24/7, the left who have bought into a big lie. It is the left who are guilty of sedition and insurrection after effectively overthrowing our government by committing flagrant and egregious election fraud, denying approximately sixty percent of the American voting population of their choice of Commander in Chief.
At any rate, thanks for stopping by, and for your kind comments! xoxo
"call T.G.---then CALL THE LAW!" oh I loved this post!! LOL
got a chuckle out of the dispatcher though---asking all the many many questions about the "covid" and have you been exposed, fever, etc. etc. etc.......like did they expect you to run out and BREATH ON THE OFFICER? or TOUCH the officer? Mercy-sakes-alive.......!!!
Glad you did find your flag though! We fly a flag as well. It's pretty much the same size as yours. If I went out and it was suddenly gone, I would be as flabbergasted as you. Hope you had a real nice weekend and I'll be catching up with my emails soon as I am feeling better, but wanted to stop in and say "howdy!!" and letcha know I enjoyed this post and the beautiful Flag pictures as well. Hugs!
@Derbbi ... hahahahaha yes always call TG first! And the day won't come that I'll get so close to an officer that I can breathe on him/her! I'll keep a respectful distance ... feel better soon! xoxo
That is some story! You fly that flag! I am surrounded by liberals except for a very few... bizarre. Surreal... quite upsetting!.hang in there!
@Gayla ... Amen sister! It was taken down and thrown onto the roof again about ten days ago. As many times as they take it down we will put it back up. xoxo