It's how you finish
On Tuesday of last week many members of our family converged on the Atlanta area to pay respects at the funeral of my Aunt Linda.
It was a typical summer day, more or less stifling, if not strictly in temperature then certainly in humidity.
Pop-up thunderstorms wandered wetly across our paths continually, both while traveling and for the hours we spent in Atlanta.
Her service was held at the church she attended.
TG and I did not make it to her visitation the night before, at the funeral home, but by all reports it was a crowded affair. My aunt touched many people.
The family convened in an area apart from the church's main meeting room before the funeral on Tuesday, and that was crowded too. I saw folks I hadn't laid eyes on in forty years.
My aunt's grandson, Nathan, was the main speaker for the service and he did such an excellent job. I hope when I'm gone, my grandson will eulogize me half as lovingly as Nathan praised his Mamaw.
And I hope he'll be telling the truth, as Nathan was.
Nathan could have said lots more nice things about her, but he was bound by time constraints.
My cousin Deg, Aunt Linda's only son, had prepared some remarks but, after reading a few sentences, he found himself unable to continue.
Deg handed his paper to his nephew Nathan and left the platform to be comforted by his wife and sisters.
Nathan delivered Deg's remarks with just the right amount of respect, pathos, and humor.
What Aunt Linda's son had written about his mother were poignant reminiscences of the kind that only grown-up children remember at such times.
She was a sweet and devoted mother.
At one point a bit of family lore was revealed to those in attendance who didn't already know it: Aunt Linda's first baby, my cousin Donna, came along nine months and three days after Aunt Linda's wedding to Uncle Don.
"Those three days were always very important to Mamaw," Nathan said.
It was a relief to laugh through our tears.
But the best part came at the end.
My aunt's pastor, who had consulted with Aunt Linda on every detail of her funeral service, read some Scripture passages that she had wanted us to hear.
Then he explained that the next and final thing that would happen had been specifically requested -- insisted upon, actually -- by my aunt.
We were asked to stand and, when we did, three musicians emerged from the wings.
I knew instantly what was about to take place.
They were a Dixieland jazz ensemble and, coming down the center aisle to lead the family out of the church, they struck up a rousing rendition of When the Saints Go Marching In.
You know, like they do for funerals down in New Orleans. All loosey-goosey-like, with the clarinet just wailing.
My aunt in the final moments of her service wanted to be true to her Louisiana roots, and she wanted those she counted as loved ones and friends to leave that place not grieving, but rejoicing.
She accomplished both. Everybody was clapping and singing and smiling. My Uncle Dody waved a handkerchief as he did a little jig beside my mother, his only remaning sibling.
They're bookends now: the oldest and the youngest. It is as hard for me to imagine saying goodbye to one of them, as I know it has been for them to say goodbye to their brother and sister.
Once in the lobby, Dody grabbed the hands of Aunt Linda's great-granddaughter Bella, and began to dance her around.
Naturally I was brandishing the camera but I managed to keep up. The band continued to play songs like I'll Fly Away and Just A Closer Walk With Thee.
Aunt Linda would have loved it. I can just see the light in her eyes and hear her laughter, see the way she would have clapped her hands and tapped her foot.
Because she did something at the conclusion of a full and blessed life to which we all should aspire: she ended well.
She knew it's not how you start, but how you finish.
This was her smile on Mother's Day 2013.
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The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. ~ I Corinthians 15:26
Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this? ~ John 11:25-26
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. ~ Revelation 21:4
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Happy Thursday ~ Happy Weekend
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Reader Comments (6)
Your words add to the legacy that she left, and will keep her in the hearts and minds of those who knew her.
This post is a great tribute to her - and so was her funeral. That's the kind of funeral I want and I want a jazz band playing those very songs too!
Oh, I love that, and I am totally stealing the Dixieland trio idea for my own funeral! It will scandalize the natives, which is only proper and right!
Oh Bravo for that sweet lady, a band, to ease the pain. She was thoughtful to the end.
A celebration of life!
Awwww!! I could heard the music! Love this tribute Miss Jenny....especially the three days memory...Hahahaaa....
((((((HUG))))))