The key what unlocks it

So the other day my darling TG approaches me with the simple question all wives hear from time to time. The query that melts our girlish hearts and sets our eyelashes aflutter:

"Have you seen the key to my truck?"

I answered without hesitation:

"Yes dearest, I have seen the key to your truck. But if what you are really asking is whether I know the current geographic coordinates of the key to your truck, the answer is no."

Confirmed: I am a smart aleck. It's TG's cross to bear.

Something you need to know about TG: he does not carry around a keyring with gobs of keys on it like most people are prone to do.

As it happens we don't need keys to our house. That's all done by mashing buttons and entering codes to lift doors and disarm alarms and whatnot -- oh, and we've memorized the song that must be sung to the piranhas so they'll swim over and trip the switch that raises the moat.

Hence the only keys we require are the ones to our vehicles.

Well, in my case, vehicle. Singular. I drive one car and it is the rare occasion indeed when I am unable to produce my keyring.

I may lose a ring in pursuit of the key, but that's another subject.

TG lost his remote control (and key) to that car roughly six weeks after we bought it. Ever since, he's used the key that was meant to be a spare. If he can find it.

TG drives two trucks in addition to "my" car, thus he has three separate keys. And they stay separate; he never considers hanging the three of them from the same apparatus although each of them is already on a keyring with plenty of room for two more keys.

I'm guessing that would be too easy. Or maybe it's a preemptive strike against losing all his keys at once. Could it be that he sees putting all the keys on one ring as burning his bridges behind him?

It's anybody's guess.

In this case the key he'd lost track of was the one that starts up his F150 pickup. Said key hangs from the laminated yellow tag given to him by the dealership when he bought the truck two years ago.

Now, I'm aware of gizmos on the market that purport to help you find things you've lost. For example, there's the FOFA:

Once a FOFA Key Finder is attached to your keys and other easy-to-lose things, it can find and be found by all the rest! use your wallet to find your keys, your keys to find a misplaced remote control, or any of them to find an uncharged or muted cell phone!

If I got one for TG, he'd only lose it.

Then there are inventions like Phone Halo. It uses your smart phone to find your keys or wallet.

Another gadget known as ZOMM employs your keys to locate your stupid phone.

What happens if you lose your keys, your wallet, your smart phone, your remote control, your ZOMM, your FOFA, and your Phone Halo? What's next?

Don't answer that.

All I know is, my phone isn't all that smart and neither are my keys.

But apparently my clothes dryer is.

Our laundry room is very near our bedroom. That night -- the night of the day TG had been unable to locate his truck key -- the dryer was humming away as we drifted off to sleep.

Only, it sounded like the ghost of Jacob Marley had gotten trapped in there along with the chain he'd forged in life, link by link. Clank. Whir. Clunk. You get the idea.

It wasn't loud enough to make me get up. Only loud enough to make me muzzily wonder what the Dickens I'd put in there that was hitting ... the ... sides ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wait for it.

All was revealed the next day when I emptied the dryer! Five or six towels, a pair or two of TG's knockabout shorts, a few tee shirts ... and the key to my dear heart's truck. Squeaky clean.

Happy Weekend! May all doors, ignitions, and hearts be open to you.