I can just tea it now

So I'm puttering around the house awhile ago, doing laundry and making a stab at cleaning for the sake of my holiday weekend company, when Javier goes BERSERK.

See, Javier doesn't usually bark. The opposite.

I've told you before and I'll tell you again: he's a quiet Chihuahua. Snoozes 20 out of 24.

Docile for the most part; volatile only on occasion.

At any rate he's not a yapper so when his hackles reach for outer space and he clears the stairs from the TV room (where he lounges even though the TV is not on) in a single bound and traverses the kitchen floor like he knows how it feels to have wings on his heels, I gather somethin' major is UP, y'all.

So I follered while I hollered. JAVIER, shut UP already! There's NOTHING THERE! I insisted.

RawrRawrRawrrrrRawwwwwRAWR! He insisted right back.

I looked out by the pool. Nothing. Well, nothing except the pool and all the hot sun you could possibly want.

Oh, and an inflatable shark. He was out there but Javier's used to him.

It.

(Note to self: stop anthropomorphizing blow-up pool toys.)

My momentarily demented canine unit began scratching at the door that leads to the garage. He loves to go "out front" so I thought oh, okay, whatever, I'll open the garage door and let him see for himself that he's imagining things.

But as the door creaked up I could see moving tires and I Sherlocked that somebody was just driving away from in front of my house.

A FedEx home delivery van as it turned out. I didn't even know they had those.

So I walked through the garage and looked up onto the porch, which from where I was standing is at eye level.

Ah. By the door, two mysterious cardboard boxes, one atop the other.

I clapped my hands real hard like I do when Javier's in deep trouble (he'd moseyed down the driveway to check his messages and I always fear he'll end up in the street and ... well, you know. Splat.) and told him he'd better get his scrawny tail back inside or he was gonna be perdogga non grata around here at least until suppertime.

He matched his gait to a slow tick-tock to show me who's "boss" but eventually his hiney cleared the garage door sensor and I pushed the button to re-close it.

SO back through the house to the front door, thinking what in the sam hill has TG ordered now (secretly hoping the boxes were from Tiffany & Co.), because I personally was not expecting a shipment of anything.

And what do you know, it was our supply of the Limbaugh libation Two If By Tea that some time ago we'd decided to have on hand for our Labor Day festivities.

The menu for which will involve my lip-smacking homemade from-scratch pork barbecue and luscious fresh potato salad and wicked-licious deviled eggs and a huge bowl full of creamy scrumptious yo' mama banana pudding.

Just so you know.

(And no, I'm not The Pioneer Woman and HGTV is not trying to reach me and Reese Witherspoon has expressed no interest in playing me in the movie about my life, but I guarantee you Ree's menfolk wouldn't complain if their cowboy boots came to rest under my table.)

Looky there! I shamelessly digressed.

So we received our tea order. I haven't tasted it yet but if I do and it's not good I'll let El Rushbo (and you) know.

Oh and the tea ships for free inside the continental US. If you don't know what that means, ask Barack Obama. Maybe he'll be kind enough to go down the list of 57 states for you.

Now let's crank 'er up for Labor Day weekend, y'all! Phooey on labor unions but kudos to any citizen who gets up every morning and actually goes to work.

God Bless America! From tea to shining tea.

Comments

[Donna M.]

This was one of your cracker-jack posts that made me belly laugh a couple of times. You sure have your funny bone in good working order today!!! LOL, I think we need to head on over and partake of those fabulous Labor Day vittles and *clink* a bottle of tea with you! Three cheers to NON-union labor and taxpayers who believe in balanced budgets in their households and government!

[irene]

Aren't animals funny? (Oh my I fixed that question mark button, how'd I do that?) Love the packaging. How clever, your menu sounds delicious. I'm sure my men wouldn't mind putting their sneakers under your table either.

[Debbie]

Sounds like Penelope the Beagle when someone comes to the door.

(But how is the TEA? I haven't ordered any yet, I thought it was a little expensive (($2.00 per bottle?))

I'm sure I would love it, then I would be hooked, then I would have to keep a supply stocked all the time of the original sugar free. I don't want to get hooked, but I have a feeling I will

[Donna (Texas)]

SO Tha's what all the "Tea" talk is about! I kept hearing about it on Rush's radio show!
Love the packaging!
Let us know what you think about it...and have a fun Labor Day!
(we are a Union shop ...forced...and Our plumbers are waking up to the fact that their Union Bosses are spending their benefit money faster than crap runs through a goose! Hopwfully, we can continue to get the message across to them about what's happening to their money! THEY NEED TO CONFRONT THEM!....I keep trying!)
Happy Weekend friend!
hughugs