She said yes

They became engaged near the statue of Wade Hampton on his horse

Mike and Audrey are engaged to be married.

He proposed on Saturday evening after a fine dinner, as they walked on the grounds of the South Carolina State House, where they walked on a mild evening in late January after another special dinner date.

The ring is dainty, with a near-flawless diamond set between two sapphires, in platinum.

Audrey wanted a low-profile ring

They have set a date of November 8, 2024, for the wedding.

We're doing an official engagement shoot later this week, so I'll share more pictures later. But I will tell you now that we are all thrilled.

Congratuations, Maudrey!

And that is all for now.

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The days that make us happy make us wise.

= John Masefield =

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Happy Monday

From Paris to the Paris of Appalachia ... and yinz call your mother

The Canadians have landed

And we are back.

Actually we have been back for some time.

I don't know if hectic is the right word, but a great many things have been happening around here.

But now we are mere hours from June, and I guess I should get you caught up.

TG and I went to Pittsburgh. Quaintly nicknamed The Paris of Appalachia.

Mike and Audrey a/k/a Maudrey, atop the Eiffel Tower

Yes! Pittsburgh again! We have been twice before: in March of 2017 and again in October of 2022.

We love the Steel City. It has a unique charm and we can't get enough of it. Yinz know what I mean?

(Yinz is Pittsburgh for y'all.)

The last time we were there, we toured PNC Park. We are baseball fans and I am a pirate so it worked out really well. It is a stunning facility.

Erica made this trifle and gave me those pretty roses

This time, the purpose of our visit was to again visit PNC Park, but this time for a game.

Cubs versus Pirates! Being a pirate, naturally I am a fan of the Chicago Cubs.

If you know, you know.

Pittsburgh from one of its yellow bridges

And I'll tell you about our experience at the game but first I need to tell you what happened.

When we decided to make the trip, I began searching for accommodations. We would be staying for two nights.

I won't go into specifics about my method of searching but the end result was that I zeroed in on a property across the street from the main entrance of the ball park.

Dagny and Mike at Heathrow, preparing to fly home

It was a Marriott residence type place, where you have a kitchenette and can stow your soft drinks in the fridge and also make coffee and even cook something if you're so inclined.

Anyway this is not like me AT ALL -- usually I read reviews for HOURS before booking a room -- but I got all emotional envisioning TG and me just popping out the door and across the street to the baseball game, that I booked two nights -- non changeable, non cancelable unless we wanted to lose our money -- on the spot.

The price was okay; not the best but by no means the worst I have encountered in downtown hotels.

The month of May was Mom and spring on my table

And then I read the reviews.

Oh no. Nooooooooo. Bad. Very bad. Filthy rooms. Holes in the sheets. No hot water. Negligible housekeeping. Indifferent front desk staff. Bad smells in the hallways. Expensive parking. All-but-inedible "free" breakfast. 

My heart stopped. What have I done? I wondered. And whatever shall I do?

The trip was a month away. I pondered my options.

TG chilling before the game, between two thunderstorms

And then I consulted with our Mike, who for decades has been a world traveler, both for business and for leisure pursuits.

You can't get out of it? He asked. Nope, I said. Ugh.

He advised that, when we got closer to the date when we would check in, I make a call to the hotel itself.

Mike and Audrey atop the Arc de Triomphe

Ask to speak to a manager. Tell them of my concerns -- as in, I cannot spend the money I am spending and be given the key card to a disgusting room. That dog won't hunt.

So I tucked that bit of wisdom away and determined not to stress about the situation.

But when we packed the car in preparation for heading out, I included cleaning supplies. Yes! I guess that's where we are in a post-plandemic world ... you're going to pay more but get way less when it comes to hotel accommodations. And be prepared to clean your own room.

The view from our tenth-floor room

I mean, the basics are barely covered anymore. Remember when they changed your sheets and sparkled the bathroom and left fresh towels and emptied the trash cans and vacuumed the room EVERY DAY of your stay?

I would venture to say that unless you are booked at a five-star property -- and perhaps not even then -- you are not going to see that level of involvement with guest comfort, ever again.

Now, they come right out and tell you that any attention from housekeeping staff will be on a three-day basis; as in, if you stay for two days, unless you specifically ask, they are coming nowhere near your room.

Dagny at the Tower of London

And so we have gotten used to having to go searching for dry towels, and making our own bed, and dealing with overflowing trash, and what have you.

But a filthy room? At check-in? As dozens of recent guests had described? I was going to draw the line there.

And so, as we headed north on the day, I called the hotel. I asked to speak to a manager.

It took three to four hours and at least half a dozen calls before I was able to speak to a person identifying as such.

We weathered some storms on our trip to Pittsburgh

And she was professional and courteous, and, after I'd explained why I was reaching out, said she was embarrassed that I felt I had to make such a call.

I said, Have you read the reviews?

She declined to answer and went off in another direction, reading from their script that says in essence, we strive every day to provide every guest with an exceptional stay, and so on and so forth.

I asked again: Have you read the online reviews of your hotel?

Each of my children sent me a sweet card

I read every review, she said.

So, I said, you know why I am calling. I mean, filthy rooms? No hot water? Holes in the sheets? At these prices?

She said, We did have an issue with the water temperature but we have fixed it.

I told her that I wasn't asking for anything besides what I had already paid for: A clean, reasonably up-to-date room with intact linens and running hot water.

Pittsburgh is famous for yellow bridges and fabulous views

She was gracious enough to offer to let me off the hook with regard to my non-changeable, non-cancelable reservation.

I thought that was classy but I said, No, we want to stay there. We want to stay across the street from the ball park. We're on our way and the game is tomorrow. I asked her to just please take care of us.

And so we rang off as friends and I said I hoped I could meet her when we arrived. Her name was Margaret.

Cherica with our pastor on Mother's Day

When we got to Pittsburgh and checked in, there was no sign of Margaret but we were taken care of by a pleasant young lady. I asked if I could check out the room before committing to it, and she said certainly.

I took the key card and got on the elevator and went to the tenth floor. Top floor.

When I opened the door of the room, it was perfectly lovely. Everything was spotless. I went to the tub and turned on the water to make sure it got warm. It did.

Maudag at monument to St. Magnus the Martyr in London

The view was stunning -- we were looking right down on the People's Gate at PNC Park -- and I realized that my call to Margaret had yielded, if not an upgrade -- because this was the type of room I had booked -- then at least some extra care and attention being given in light of my expressed anxieties.

In other words, the room was what you used to get without asking, for about half the money that it costs now.

TG and I checked in and, since we'd had a wonderful meal at a Cheddar's Scratch Kitchen in Beckley, West Virginia, earlier that day, settled down for a quiet evening and a good sleep.

The Sixth Street/Roberto Clemente Bridge

But then, I decided to take a shower and wash my hair.

I ran the water and rotated the lever to warm/hot water, and turned on the shower.

When I got in, I noticed that the shower head, high above me, was turned to the wall. I wondered who would do that, and why.

Word to your mother

And then I found out. The water was scalding. I mean, scalding -- as in, if you put your hand under it, within a few seconds you'd be burned.

I fiddled with the half-moon lever type thing that had blue on one side and red on the other. I stopped every fourth of an inch all across that area, until I'd gone back and forth three times. It took several minutes.

And the water was scalding no matter what I did.

Audrey in Paris

I managed to get it all done by flinging splashes of water in my direction and I don't even want to tell you how painful it was when I had to rinse my hair.

The next morning, we reported the problem and, while I took a walk, TG stayed in the room with the "repairman" to describe and monitor the situation.

According to said "repairman", a faulty mixing valve was replaced.

Minutes later, it was practically a monsoon

Except, later that night, when I went to take another shower after shivering through the Cubs at Pirates game (more on that momentarily), it was the same. Scalding.

TG had had slightly better luck than me finding water that was a temperature he could stand under, so I called him in and asked him to please kindly find that same water for me.

He fiddled with the controls for several minutes and the scalding water went away. But then, the water could not rise above cool to tepid. Only. No scalding, no hot, no warm. Just cool.

Home of the Pirates

Again, I did the best I could under the circumstances. I was still shivering when I got into bed. 

When we checked out the next morning and again reported the defect, I was talking when the "repairman" materialized and interrupted me in mid-sentence to say I fixed it.

I said: No. You didn't fix it.

Maudrey atop St. Paul's Cathedral, London

The desk young lady (different from the day before) said, I'm sorry.

And we went on our way, and that evening we reached home where I enjoyed a spectacular warm shower.

Try to understand it and let me know what you come up with.

Sappy makes me happy

I know it's a common trope that, no matter where you live, if you don't like the weather, wait ten minutes.

But in Pittsburgh, they live that. Literally.

When we visited in the fall of the year, the weather was as close to perfection as you can get, in my mind at least.

Dagny checking out Parliament and Big Ben

But if you decide to stay in Pittsburgh anywhere from late spring to early summer, you'd better pack an umbrella and sunscreen and flip-flops and a heavy coat. Because you're likely to get anything.

On game day the wind blew, the sun shone, the rain fell, the wind blew some more, and the temps wavered wildly between fifty and sixty degrees.

I had kept abreast of the weather patterns while packing, but I must have been in denial about how cold it can be in Pittsburgh in May, because I was not prepared.

Entrance to PNC Park

In actual fact I don't think it reached sixty degrees, but when I walked across the Roberto Clemente bridge to take the pictures you see in this post, I wasn't the least bit cold and in fact it was refreshing.

But about three hours before game time, the skies lowered and the rain fell and the wind whipped and the temperature dropped into the mid fifties.

After sitting outside at a café to enjoy coffee (me) and a Coke (him), TG and I walked across the street in a sudden spate of driving rain, to a Rally House store.

Audag at the Palais Garnier (Paris Opera)

There, TG bought me a zip-up hoodie sweatshirt so that I could be warm at the game. I would have been desperately uncomfortable without it.

(I'm a Cubs fan but it says Pirates on the front so I'm good wiv' it. Go Bucs! I wore my Cubs t-shirt underneath and I did get some comments, haha. Like, make up your mind, lady.)

We walked across the street from our hotel and entered the park as soon as the gates opened. Within minutes it was nothing but torrential rain.

Skippy has been dedicated to the Lord

We ordered hamburgers and fries and soft drinks from a kiosk, paid our fifty dollars, and, in five minutes, our number was called and our supper was served.

The food was delicious. We ate it while standing at provided tables looking out at the rain falling on the field, which they had covered.

But no sooner had we consumed the last crumb and refilled our drinks than the skies were blue again. We found our seats.

Maudrey, ready to come home

But no sooner had we found our seats than the skies lowered again and the rain returned.

We moved up higher, under cover, and waited. It wasn't long before we were able to go back to our wet seats but the game start time had been delayed for a full hour.

No further incident weather-wise after that though, and the game was wonderful -- CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! -- and was played in full with no interruption.

Keep moving forward

Our Cubbies are currently having what one might describe as a semi-dismal season, but as TG always says, philosophically: That's baseball.

Indeed.

We traveled home on the day before Mother's Day. Audrey, Dagny, and Mike were spending two days in London at the end of their trip. They'd taken the high-speed rail through the Chunnel from Paris to London, the previous morning.

Delays are sometimes inevitable

Erica had come by the house on the day we traveled home, to bring Rizzo who'd stayed with her, and check on Sweetness who'd stayed by herself, well-stocked with kibble and water and with the run of the sun room, and found Mother's Day flowers from our Andrew on the front porch.

He's back from his deployment and so happy to be home.

On Mother's Day itself, Maudag flew nonstop from London to Charlotte, getting home that night.

Audag at Westminster Abbey

The rest of us were in our pews at church, and that night there was a baby dedication, and two babies were presented, and one of them was our Elliott.

He's eight months old now and by far the cutest baby in the world, haha. I call him Skippy. Just because.

We enjoyed a wonderful Mother's Day but we deferred celebrating until Monday evening, when I cooked supper and the returned travelers could join us.

Ducks don't worry about rain delays

Audrey and Mike and Dagny had thought of everyone, and there were gifts to give and stories to tell, and we ate grilled chicken and hot dogs and all the sides, and it was a truly memorable evening.

Since my deck is still torn up, I haven't been able to get into my new shed and pull out a tote containing a switch-out of table decorations from Mother's Day month to something creative for June, but I'll figure it out.

TG left this morning, en route to Charlotte-Douglas International Airport where he will board a nonstop flight to Detroit, where he will be met by his brother, Ron.

My son remembered me with this lovely bouquet

It was a last-minute trip so that TG can attend the funeral of his beloved high school basketball coach, Mr. Joe Stalma. TG visited him in the nursing home in 2021, when we were in the Toledo area for his fiftieth high school reunion, one year delayed.

My sweetheart will be back tomorrow night.

Additional important events are on the horizon! Stay tuned.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Thursday

They'll always have Paris

You're the top ... you're the Louvre Museum

Extra credit if you can immediately, without looking it up, identify the movie* from which this (slightly altered) title quote, and the others sprinkled throughout this post, came.

(Well, wait. The quote beneath the above photo is from a song by Cole Porter. But the rest of them, I mean.)

There's a reason.

The night before the great Gallic getaway

Let's back up for a mo.

You aren't likely to remember this so I'll remind you that we met Mike, our Audrey's boyfriend, this past New Year's Eve.

There's a first time for everything

It was a Sunday, and that morning, he joined our church. He'd been attending for several months, but none of us knew him.

I had been sick over Christmas and so I'd decided to break with tradition and do some proper celebrating on New Year's Day.

I made some festive foods and so forth, and we invited Mike to join us, and he did.

Round up the usual suspects

Within a few weeks, by mid-January, he and Audrey were dating.

But on New Year's Day 2024 over snacks and so forth, Mike told me that he was anticipating a trip to Paris in early May.

Play it again, Sam

It had been planned for some time. Mike's wife passed away in 2020; they had been married for thirty-one years and their three children are now adults.

Their eldest daughter lives in Austin, Texas. Their middle child, a son, lives in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Their youngest, another daughter, lives in Cambridge, England, where her husband is stationed with the Air Force.

She has two small sons -- Mike's grandchildren.

Dagny snoozing in the Uber on the way to the hotel in Paris

Mike's elderly but still young-at-heart mother lives here in Columbia.

Mike had planned for his mother to accompany him to Paris in May, and for all three of his children to meet up with them there, for several days of seeing the sights and hanging out together.

We made it to the City of Light

I was amazed as Mike told me on New Year's Day that the lodging arrangements for the group in Paris were not what one might think.

As in, everyone was not staying in one place.

No, he said. We don't do it that way. I have an Airbnb for my kids. My mother is booked at the Holiday Inn. And I have a room at the Hyatt.

Mike on a break for refreshments

I was laughing at that when he said, I just want to go to my room at the end of the day and have silence.

Or words to that effect.

Dagny relaxing at the Luxembourg Gardens ... click to embiggen

But it wasn't long at all before Mike had invited Audrey and Dagny to come along on that trip.

He said that he would give them his room at the Hyatt, and he would stay with his children at the Airbnb, foregoing much of the silence and peace he had arranged for himself.

But as we know, it's all good. The more the merrier, and so forth and so on.

This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship

Audrey ran the plan by me and her dad, and we were a tad bit shocked, but we agreed that it would be nice for Audrey and Dagny to have a chance to go to Paris and meet Mike's children.

(Audrey has been to Paris once before, in 2005, when my mother treated her to the trip as a college graduation present. She was eager to return.)

Taking the Paris Métro to the Louvre this morning

So the grand preparations began. Audrey's passport had expired and Dagny didn't have one. Those documents were secured and we began counting down the days.

Less than a week before the trip, the travelers started to get sick. It was a stomach bug. First Dagny, then a few days later Audrey, and finally even Mike had it.

Empress Eugénie's diamond brooch on display at the Louvre

Last Friday evening Audrey and Dagny dropped by the house and Audrey was still pale. But she said she felt much better. Mike was doing all right too.

The next day (last Saturday), the group -- Mike, his mother (Miss Judy), Audrey, and Dagny -- left Columbia in the early morning for Charlotte International Airport where they caught a flight to Dallas-Fort Worth.

Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa, men have named you

After several hours there and a two-plus-hour delay departing for Europe due to technical issues, they were off to Paris.

From there they traveled for nearly ten hours, through the night, and arrived in Paris just before six o'clock in the morning Eastern time (around noon Paris time) yesterday.

For snacks, Paul is a friendly bakery

I had been watching their flights on FlightAware all day and until I went to bed on Saturday night. I woke up Sunday morning at around five, and shortly afterward checked on their progress. They were fifteen minutes from landing at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris.

They deplaned, collected their luggage, and Mike got Ubers for everyone. Dagny and Audrey were checked in to the Hyatt Paris Madeleine and got freshened up. Dagny was served a Coke, with ice, in the lobby. She was thrilled.

Gorgeous springtime skies in Paris

Miss Judy was ensconced at the Holiday Inn Gare de Lyon and Mike was getting unpacked at the Airbnb with his offspring.

Then they went out for a bit of sightseeing, and coffee, and an early supper. Dagny had pined for a baguette for weeks, and finally got her hands on one at Paul.

By around eight in the evening last night, they were back in their room and preparing to go to bed. Not having been able to sleep on the plane, Audrey had been awake for nearly thirty-three hours. 

Dagny models her beret at the Blvd Saint-Michel flea market

Today they toured the Louvre. They saw the crown jewels of Louis XV and also those of Empress Eugénie, wife of Napoleon III (Napoleon Bonaparte's nephew), president of the Second Republic of France from 1850 to 1852 and emperor of France from 1852 to 1870. 

Eugénie's diamond brooch caught my eye. Audrey says its much better in person, haha.

Dramatic skies over a cathedral near Notre Dame

Before she went to bed and slept the untroubled sleep of a child, Dagny wrote a note to the hotel housekeeping staff. It read:

Review From Dagny W.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

5 stars ... I absolutely LOVE it here. nice BATH, nice complimentery (sic) coke, & water.

Also the room lighting is Perfect.

She mentioned the room lighting! That's my granddaughter for sure. Pirates be all about mood lighting.

And finally, the Eiffel Tower coruscating against the night sky

There were hundreds of people jostling to get near the Mona Lisa. Audrey sent me a video and it was insane. But eventually she got close enough to take a picture of the most famous painting in the world.

Afterwards Dagny bought herself a beret in a flea market (she had a few Euros in her wallet) on the Boulevard Saint-Michel, and then they went for hot chocolate before taking the Métro to see the Eiffel Tower all lit up at night.  

Here's looking at you, kid

Meanwhile back here in Columbia, Chad and Erica celebrated their sixth wedding anniversary on May the fourth.

They took a day trip with the boys on the day, but last evening we had a mini photo shoot.

After their wedding at our church on May 4, 2018, the photographer had them walk across the street to a field our church owns.

Elliot a/k/a Skippy is a classic Mama's Boy

Late April and early May each year, the field is filled with yellow flowers. I'm sure it's a weed but they're pretty, however very quickly they get mown down by church maintenance.

And since Erica has photos of herself and Chad on their wedding day walking and posing in the field of yellow flowers, she likes to recreate that every year.

Once a fine romance, now a family affair

So it was that last night she asked me to do the honors after our evening church service.

It was a little after seven o'clock, so the light was perfect, and there was a beautiful sky.

Rhett and Elliot made four, but I got a few shots of Cherica by themselves too.

The Germans wore gray ... you wore blue

All of these pictures remind me to count my blessings, name them one by one.

I'll keep you up to date as to the goings and doings of the group in France, but TG and I are going on an adventure of our own this week.

And you will be required obliged to read all about that, after the fact.

Keep a weather eye on the horizon!

And that is all for now.

*Casablanca (1942)

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Happy Monday :: Happy Mother's Day Week

Monday Mirth :: expletives deleted

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Happy Monday

What I should have said

Allissa at sixteen. Proving yet again, there is no substitute for youth.

I meant to write this post all last week, and even yesterday.

Just call me Jenny the Pirate Procrastinator.

Ah well. It's not as though you all had nothing better to do than wait for my next post.

So let's get started.

First let me tell you, we have had weather that is somewhat common in South Carolina in early spring.

That is, it has been decidedly cool.

On Sunday it was in the fifties and rainy, with a pretty stiff wind.

We celebrated her birthday a little over a week ago

I wore tights to church on Sunday morning.

Yesterday was much better, with abundant sunshine, but it was still cool and breezy.

Starting today until the smothering heat and stupidity humidity arrives, I predict that we will have ideal weather for being outdoors. 

It's a good thing, because TG and Chad and Mike are in the midst of tearing out and redesigning and rebuilding our deck.

It's a poolside deck -- not one of the on-stilts kind -- and it was out of time, being rotted all the way through in a few places since last year.

We are fortunate to have Chad, who can build just about anything.

In fact several years ago he built a beautiful deck onto the back of his and Erica's house.

Phase one of deck demolition is underway

And he has just completed the construction of a room where their carport used to be. It's beautiful. When Erica has it all decorated, I will show you pictures of it.

So that's the big project that, I hope, will be finished by Memorial Day when everyone comes for the weekend and typically it's the first opportunity to swim in the pool.

But I won't pressure anyone to complete the deck in any particular amount of time. We can get outside from the sun room. Exiting by way of the French doors in the kitchen will now get you a sharp fall onto exposed deck infrastructure.

Rizzo has been a mite confused; usually that's his point of egress to go out and check his messages.

He doesn't get why I have been hustling him over to the other door that leads from the kitchen to the back, or even down to the sun room, to go outside.

Mike came over and helped with the deck demo too

At any rate, that's what's currently consuming us around here.

Yesterday I made a big crock pot full of chili for everyone. We women ate and fed the children while the men used the last of the afternoon light to do deck demolition.

The men came in when they'd had enough of that, and ate their chili.

But I'm getting ahead of the story.

A week ago Friday, we all headed up to the line where South Carolina meets North Carolina, and had a birthday party for our Allissa.

Dagny and Allissa are besties as well as cousins

She is the second daughter, and middle child, of our eldest daughter Stephanie and her husband Joel.

It was her sweet sixteen celebration.

We met at Cracker Barrel and after navigating a front-of-house person who seemed a tad bit testy over our arrival in such numbers (we were fifteen), we settled in and had a great time together.

It amazes me that you can enter a place of business, the sole function of which is to sell food and (in the case of Cracker Barrel) millions of other things, and be treated as though your mere presence is an affront to them.

These are the days we live in now; you never know what you're going to get when you walk in as part of a large party, all ready to pay exorbitant amounts for a meal, practically begging: Take Our Money!

The OBP: Official Birthday Photo

And feeling as though you should add: And please, don't be aggravated with us for inconveniencing you!

More on that later.

Following a nice dinner, we dug into the cake which Stephanie had brought along, and of course there were presents for Allissa.

Her parents had chosen a few Kendra Scott (Shine Bright, Do Good) necklaces, and those were a big hit with the birthday girl.

There would be more gifts, and more celebrating, from her family on the following Monday, her actual birthday.

They were planning to spend at least part of their day at the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte. Some shopping and eating out would be involved too.

Yes we lit those glittery candles

Audrey, Erica, and I went in together on a bottle of Chanel Chance Eau Tendre EDP (means real French perfume, which means pricey). We wanted to get her a glamorous grown-up-girl fragrance. 

She seemed delighted.

At one point I made our daughter Stephanie cry (I didn't mean to) by bringing up this post that I wrote nine years ago about Allissa's seventh birthday, and showing the pictures around the table.

She couldn't handle the nostalgia, so I put my phone away.

After the meal and party celebration, we went outside and took some pictures. It was windy and decidedly cool in the Charlotte area that night, but we got through it and then it was time to go home.

We needed to rest up because another party of sorts was planned for the very next day.

That would have been a week ago last Saturday.

Chanel Chance Eau Tendre, for the ingénue

Erica had read about a place in Greenville -- a ninety-minute drive from Columbia -- at the Greenville Downtown Airport, called the Runway Cafe.

It's just what it sounds like: a small eating establishment that sits on the edge of the small airport's runway. Fifty yards away is a nice park for kids to play in.

It was going to be a lovely warm day, so we all decided to go. We figured the kids would love it.

My relatives who live in Greenville -- Henry (my mother's widower), my sister Kay, my nieces Susu and Gena, and my nephew Michael's wife Marie -- were all invited to bring the kids/grandkids and join us.

TG and I got to the restaurant right around two o'clock and saw that Henry was already there.

The Runway Cafe was on an episode of Restaurant: Impossible a year or so ago. It's the kind of place where you pick a table and then go up the counter to order your burger or sandwich.

There weren't many diners at all. At the back of the medium-sized space were many empty tables and a sea of available chairs. I headed that way.

Presentation is everything

Before I could get there, I was loudly accosted by a middle-aged, pony-tailed female employee.

How many are in your party? she demanded, omitting from her voice even a ghost of a trace of a welcoming tone.

In fact it occurred to me later that the pointed paucity of pleasantries on her part sounded almost angry.

I was still shell-shocked from the large-party experience from the night before, and I didn't really know an exact number. I hesitated.

Six? Eight? Ten? Twelve? she barked.

Uhh ... let's just say twelve and see what happens, I said. I knew we would not be fewer than six and we would not reach fourteen.

Did you call? she wanted to know, now staring me down.

? ? ? ? ?

Kendra Scott baubles are popular with the young girls

I shook my head no. I thought: Call who? The restaurant? It's not as though they take reservations; it's a burger and sandwich shop.

It never entered my mind to call and say, Hey, guess what? A whole bunch of us are coming in for burgers this afternoon!

You're going to have to believe me when I tell you, what I said next was not uttered in a snide or unkind manner. It was a simple question:

Would you like for us to leave? Because we can go someplace else.

(I mean, do you know how many places there are in Greenville to get a hamburger? We had driven past forty-seven of them on our way to the Runway Cafe.)

She said NO and stormed off.

A young man who had been sweeping around the empty tables joined two of them into one long table, and moved a few chairs to make a space for us all to sit.

Rhett sat beside "Uncle Mike" ... a big favorite of his

By then everyone was there and we numbered ten.

Chad and Erica went to the counter to order food for themselves and Rhett, and I could see that Erica was overwhelmed by something the same lady who was so curt with me, was saying to her.

Turned out she was fussing about a Runway Cafe policy of charging a twenty-percent gratuity to parties over six in number. She told Erica that our party would be charged that amount.

Erica pointed out that we were ordering at the counter, in groups of four or fewer than four, not being waited on as an oversized party.

The woman ignored Erica, who looked harried when she returned to the table.

Don't worry about it, I said. It's no problem. (If I'm going to die on a hill, it's not going to be that one.)

TG and I approached the counter to order our meals. The same lady was still there. Without looking at us, she wondered aloud what we wanted.

Me and my Lissy Belle

TG deferred to me and I said, I would like the Top Gun Burger, well done --

They're all well done, honey, she interrupted me. We're required to.

OK! Great! I said. And I don't want anything but cheese and pickles --

You have to tell me what you don't want, she said.

? ? ? ? ?

Well, I only want cheese and pickles, so -- I began.

No, you have to tell me what you DON'T want, she repeated, louder this time.

(Truth be told, I was not wearing my cheaters and although I was looking right at a laminated menu, I could not read the list of available toppings printed in light blue beneath the larger words Top Gun Burger.)

Allissa and her Papaw

Well I want only cheese and pickles, I said again. And not in a hateful or rude or smart-aleck way.

She threw up her hands and exclaimed: I JUST CAN'T WITH YOU! And she fled to the end of the counter as if to go into the kitchen, but then turned back around and yelled SO RUDE! so that everyone could hear.

Yes; yes you are, I thought. But I didn't say it. TG and I stood waiting for what came next.

In a few moments a man came to the cash register. Turns out it was Lem, one of the owners of Cafe Runway. He did not look at us either.

I said, You need to let that poor lady go home. She is having a terrible time.

He sighed. It's been a long day, he said.

? ? ? ? ?

With her parents, at church on the day before her birthday

It was two o'clock in the afternoon. They had opened at eleven o'clock that morning.

But he took my order -- Top Gun Burger, well done, cheese and pickle only -- with a nice attitude and no demands, and told me to grab a plastic cup and get my own fountain beverage.

So I did that, and went back to the table, where everyone was looking at me like, you were just giving her your order and she flipped out, and I said, She is having a really bad day. It's no big deal.

Our orders were brought to the table by a young man who emerged from the kitchen to drop our plates in front of us.

The food was pretty good. Not great, but by no means bad either.

My sister Kay and her daughter Susu arrived while we were eating, making twelve our official number. The lady who had become unhinged by my burger order confronted them as they headed towards the back where we were all sitting.

She wanted to know what they were doing.

You may or may not be made to feel welcome here

Kay remarked later, It was as if she was not going to let us walk past her.

They made it to the table, then ordered some fries for a nosh, and we all finished up and went out into the sunshine. Little planes were taking off and landing. We went over to the attached park and the children played.

Before heading back home TG and I stopped by Henry's for a few minutes to see some projects he has going in his yard. He will be ninety-two in August but will not be deterred from yard work.

But he has enlisted the help of our nephew's son, Tobias, with some of the larger projects.

After about twenty minutes, we said our goodbyes to Henry and headed for home.

While driving we marveled again at the service we had been treated subjected to at the Runway Cafe.

It's as though people have lost their minds. The place is mostly empty during business hours. You come in to fill the tables and chairs with paying customers.

Me, Henry, and Kay

You are treated as though your actual purpose for coming there was to ruin their day, and you are succeeding.

Remembering the way I kept repeating my order like a ninny, I was reminded of a phenomenon that the French call l'esprit d'escalier. Staircase wit.

Thinking of the ideal witty rejoinder, but too late.

Happens to me all the time. What am I saying? It happens to me EVERY time.

Because here is how I should have handled the situation at the counter, when I was attempting to order a simple cheeseburger with nothing but pickles added.

When the poor lady insisted that I had to tell her what I did NOT want on my burger instead of what I did want, here is what I should have said:

The French call it staircase wit

Okay! I don't want whipped cream, anchovies, clam sauce, or Brussels sprouts.

I don't want brown sugar, green beans, lemon curd, irradiated shrapnel, or battery acid.

Hold the pickled pigs' feet, the cat hair, the dandelion fuzz, the jellybeans, the marshmallow fluff, and the gerbil toenails.

Because cheese and pickle is all I want.

Not to overegg the custard, I could have said: Oh! Please omit the radish puree, monkey brains, and circus peanuts.

Maybe it would have made her laugh. We will never know.

The takeaway? I hope the lady at Runway Cafe is able to carve a moment out of each stressful day to breathe deeply ... and take a chill pill.

Baby Elliot says, save the drama for your mama.

Or enjoy a nap, or a cookie, or a therapeutic foot rub, or all three. And I pray she has a vacation coming up.

If she doesn't, I may have to send her this shirt to wear at work. FRONT TOWARD ENEMY. Warn the customers ahead of time. Honesty is the best policy.

But most of all, I hope she gets a new job. One that does not make her so miserable.

Because life is both too short and too long for that.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Tuesday

Monday Mirth :: that was easy

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Happy Monday

Monday Mirth :: business as usual

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Happy Monday

Spring and all the things

Jordan Peterson and our Audrey, on her birthday

I checked and it's true: It has been two weeks since Audrey and TG went to Jacksonville to see and hear and meet Jordan Peterson.

It was Audrey's birthday.

TG and Audrey at the venue

They set out mid-morning for the four-hour drive and got to Jacksonville in plenty of time to check into their hotel and have supper before making their way to the venue.

Which was across the street from their hotel, so that was easy.

Audrey told me that the event was everything she had hoped for, and then some.

This will be on display for the foreseeable future

Even a few minutes in the presence of Dr. Peterson was awe-inspiring, she said.

TG enjoyed it too, and now it's a splendid memory for the two of them.

As VIP ticket holders, in addition to their event badges on lanyards, they each brought home a small poster that had been signed by Jordan Peterson. 

Grilled chicken ... one of TG's specialties

I'm displaying TG's on the refrigerator until I get tired of looking at it, which won't be any time soon.

Dagny stayed with me while they were gone, and we went shopping. She had some money to spend on her mother for a birthday gift, and we did get that, but we looked at lots of stuff and had a great time.

Wavy and BBQ chips ... Erica said the BBQ ones were super hot

The next morning, we got busy getting ready for Audrey's birthday party, which was set to take place that afternoon.

TG and the birthday girl were back in town by three, and by four we were having a cookout.

Got to have burgers and dogs

I'd made the standard go-withs: baked mac and cheese, deviled eggs, cole slaw with tangy homemade dressing, and celery sticks with ranch dip. Erica brought two kinds of chips.

In addition to hamburgers and hot dogs, we had chicken tenderloins done on the grill. All I do is marinate them for several hours in straight soy sauce. TG grills them and they come out phenomenal.

Best dip: just mix the ranch powder with sour cream

I didn't get any pictures of it -- were were too busy eating it -- but for dessert, in lieu of a birthday cake I did the same thing we did for TG's birthday in late January: a Costco plain cheesecake.

Dagny had helped me slice and macerate four pounds of strawberries, and there was lots of whipped cream to go on top of everything.

Homemade slaw dressing of mayonnaise, apple cider vinegar, and sugar

It was heavenly and Audrey said it was exactly what she wanted for her birthday dessert.

She opened her gifts and was happy with everything she received. In addition to giving Audrey a lovely present, Mike brought the balloons.

Kraft Deluxe but add milk and shredded cheddar, and bake

Aren't birthdays grand? We enjoy ours to the fullest, I believe.

Once that festive occasion was concluded, we were cruising towards Easter.

After supper it was time for birthday presents

But first, Baby Elliot turned six months old. Cherica (Chad and Erica) celebrated that happy time by having a special cupcake for him after their family's lunch on the day.

As Easter loomed, it was decided that we would go to Mike's house for Sunday dinner after church.

Audrey received gifts large and small

On the day before (last Saturday), I made all of the food and TG and I took it over to Mike's.

I also took along some decorations for the table, and set all of that up so I wouldn't have to do it the next day.

Baby Elliot turned six months old :: photo courtesy Erica Porter

Mike was game to help with the cooking so I left instructions for him and on Sunday morning, he put the ham in the oven and started up the crock pots after adding to them what I'd told him to add.

Mike's mother joined us for lunch and spent the day, as well as our friend Andrea from church.

Our menu was maple glazed spiral cut ham, apple pie baked beans (if you haven't tried those yet, you really must), pineapple casserole, mashed potatoes, slow cooker creamed corn, seven layer salad, and rolls. 

Our Easter table decorations

For dessert, Erica had made a lemon blueberry trifle and we topped our individual servings with whipped cream.

Yowza. Wish you could have been at the table with us.

Erica's dessert trifle was no trifling thing

While still at the church on Sunday morning, we got some pictures of the families and almost-families.

There was TG and me, Cherica with Rhett and Baby Elliot, and Mike with Audrey and Dagny.

I don't remember who I was waving at

Our weather was perfect: sunny and balmy.

It was a tad bit cooler in Western North Carolina where our Stepanie and her family live, but still nice, with sunshine. They sent us a family picture later in the day.

Chad and Erica with Rhett and Elliot

Our son-in-law, Joel, is a pastor in Lenoir, North Carolina, and they had a big day at their church, with more in attendance at a single service than ever before since he became the pastor there in 2007.

Back here in Columbia, Mike's house is on a golf course, so after lunch, when we weren't all sitting on the deck drinking coffee, some of us took a walk onto the links.

Audrey, Dagny, and Mike

There were hardly any golfers on Easter Sunday.

Rhett had a bottle of bubbles and when he wasn't getting into minor skirmishes with Dagny (they behave just like a brother and sister), he busied himself with that.

Stephanie, Joel, Melanie, Allissa, Andrew :: photo courtesy Stephanie Bixler

Mike asked his neighbor if he could borrow his golf cart, and of course the answer was yes, so he took Audrey and Dagny and Chad and Erica for a ride.

Next thing I knew, he had jettisoned Cherica and Dagny, and made off with Audrey by herself.

Rhett busied himself blowing bubbles :: photo courtesy Audrey Weber

Clever chap. Eventually he brought her back.

Back here at home, I am still decorated for spring, but with the exception of a small selection of my many bunnies, I have put the Easter decorations away.

Bunnies will be on display throughout April

Because here we are in April, and Easter is already done. Next stop, Mother's Day -- only five weeks hence. Time to start planning your gifts and get-togethers to honor all the moms.

That holiday will coincide with another pretty spectacular event, but I will not give any of that away just yet.

A bit of bovine levity

All I know is, you will be delighted and amazed and you'll say so. For now though, keep your powder dry and be patient.

TG is already talking about getting the pool ready for opening day, which, if the weather cooperates (as in, if it's not raining), will be Memorial Day.

Sheep dog and sheep

But wait. First we will celebrate our second-eldest granddaughter Allissa's sixteenth birthday next week. 

She was born on Tax Day but as is our habit, we'll get together next Friday evening up at the North Carolina / South Carolina line and have a meal at the Cracker Barrel there, and a birthday party for sweet Allissa.

Allissa and Piper :: photo courtesy Stephanie Bixler

How can she be sixteen? Five minutes ago she was five, and then seven, and so on. You know the drill.

We've got special things in store for that momentous birthday in a girl's life, and you know that I will tell you all about it after the fact.

Meanwhile, tell me all about how your Easter went, and your upcoming plans for this glorious springtime.

And that is all for now.

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Happy Friday