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Memories that last
Thursday, November 19, 2020 at 04:45PM 
Happiness (and cake) was on the menu
In the early afternoon of last September first, I was hanging out in the living room of my mother's home. She was relaxing in her recliner nearby, looking at her phone.
That morning, she had walked slowly into that room from her bedroom, still in her robe, and had announced her intention to cancel an appointment with her hairdresser.
But we talked and I said I'd carry her to the salon in my car, reasoning that if she didn't get her hair trimmed on that day, then when?
One last exuberant swim of the season
So she pulled on a summer dress and I helped her to my chariot and got her comfortably seated. We drove to the place and I waited outside while her stylist, Judy, did what was needed and then wouldn't let Mom pay her.
Just give me a hug, she said. It was the last time the two women saw one another; Mom would never require Judy's services again.
Back home, after lunch, we'd resumed chiling out in the living room when I announced:
TG: Master of the Weber Grill
Mom, I'm fixing to go shopping. Is there anything you need?
Oh! She said. (Mom loved shopping.)
I need to find a few presents for Stephanie, I said.
Andrea with Cherica
(Our Stephanie had a milestone birthday coming up eight days later.)
As always, we planned to celebrate the event while everyone was gathered for swimming and a cookout, on Labor Day.
Well here. Let me give you some money to get her something from me, Mom said, reaching down beside her chair for the cute polka-dot Betsey Johnson mini-tote she'd been carrying around for a few years.
Birthday greetings were in the air
(The handbag sat beside her chair because Mom liked to delve into it several times each day for her mirror, lipstick, and comb, the better to freshen up for her frequent visitors.)
(The last time I saw that purse, I was rooting around in it to find her Revlon lipstick in Red Revival, to give to the undertaker.)
She produced some bills and I took them, and set off for TJ Maxx at Cherrydale Point, first swinging by to pick up my sister, who wanted to ride along.
Stephanoel with their own firstborn: Melly
Once in the store, I got as far as the jewelry counter. I and my girls all love jewelry and I knew that Stephanie would enjoy just about anything I came up with in that department.
I made several selections, including (on my mother's behalf) an impressive sterling silver chain with oversized quatrefoil stations, that I knew would delight Stephanie.
It cost a few shekels more than Mom had given me (but just a few) and I knew Stephanie would be all about it, so I didn't mind making up the difference.
Festive from the first moment until the last
Except, when I got back to Mom's and showed it to her, she noticed that it cost a trifle more than she'd given me (I should have removed the tag ahead of time).
She reached for her young-at-heart Betsey Johnson mini-tote beside her chair once more, and produced the balance. I want to pay for all of it, she said.
Mom knew it was one of the last times she'd buy any of her grandchildren a birthday gift. In fact, in the days she had left, only one other grandchild would have a birthday -- eight days after Stephanie's.
Dagny: goofy with goggles
Both my sister's firstborn child (a daughter) and my firstborn child (also a daughter) were born in the month of September, three years apart.
I think I remember hearing Mom say she'd sent Elisabeth a gift card, or some money.
A few days later, I went home to prepare for Labor Day weekend and a houseful of company. I planned the meals and readied the guest rooms and looked forward to getting the party started.
She hadn't seen anything so scrumptious since her last birthday
In a departure from our customary routine, I invited a friend from church who was otherwise unengaged that day. Her name is Andrea and I wish you could know her because she is special.
She's always smiling, always upbeat, always happy to be wherever she is, and best of all, she's a rock-ribbed conservative and a patriotic flag-waving American.
The only ones missing were Andrew, Brittany and Ember; Andrew was at OTS and Brittany spent the holiday with friends.
Make a wish
At any rate we'd be together with Brittany and Ember a few weeks later, at the beach.
The grandkids were psyched to the moon to have a hot day for one last long, luxurious summer swim.
We ate hamburgers and hot dogs and BBQ baked beans and all of the trimmings, working hard to leave room for birthday cake.
What have we here
When it came time for the birthday party, everyone gathered around the table to watch Stephanie blow out her candles: one for each decade.
It was thrilling.
Then she opened her gifts while we noshed on cake and drank coffee and the kids went outside to swim some more.
Grandma nailed it ... with my help
As I'd predicted, the birthday girl loved her necklace from Grandma. (I've seen her wear it once since then, and it's truly stunning on her.)
When I went back to be with my mom for several days the following week, she ooohed and aaahed over Stephanie's birthday cake. She loved pink and thought that was so pretty, admiring it almost as much as the picture of Stephanie having just blown out her candles, which she also found enchanting.
Mom loved this shot of pretty Stephanie
Stephanie received some other nice things and when it was all over and the families began to depart for home, we felt we'd more than adequately celebrated another year of our firstborn's life.
Oh my dear how these birthdays do pile up! Not just on me or on you, but on everyone.
We will be celebrating Ember's first birthday a few days after Thanksgiving -- not on her actual birthday, which is December third, but close enough.
I can't wait.
Make those memories good enough to last, my friends. You never know when they will be the last.
And that is all for now.
=0=0=0=
Happy Thursday
Reader Comments (15)
I am so sorry for your loss.
Wonderful memories. I'm glad you shared a photo of the necklace. It's very pretty and I know Stephanie will cherish that last gift from her Grandma.
I enjoyed the pics of Stephanie too. Your girls are all such classic beauties.
You are so right about the memories; make them good and then savor them.
@Ginny ... Thank you. xoxo
@Mari ... I just can't believe that I am the mother of a forty-year-old. Say it ain't so ... Haaahaaha xoxo
You barely look 40 yourself Jennifer.
I'm so glad your Mom could see the party via your photos and that necklace you picked out from Gramma, is beyond beautiful
Your photos are just so excellent...they really draw you into the story and make you feel like you are there!!!! Something else that "jumped out" at me was when you said you were "fixing" to go shopping! Us Southerners are all about "fixing" to do something...except where I live we say "fixin":) Love it!!!! Andrea sounds like a wonderful person to have for a friend...wish she were my neighbor (instead of the unfriendly one I have!) I could use more cheerful, upbeat people in my life right now!!! You have wonderful, sweet memories of your mama and I know you cherish them...one more thing to be thankful for this year:) Hope you and your family have a very Happy & Blessed Thanksgiving.
@Judy ... hahahaha with the help of airbrushing maybe, on a very good day! But thank you for the compliment and yes, the necklace is a stunner and best of all, really suits Stephanie. Happy Thanksgiving to you! xoxo
@Cheri ... Girl I'm sure that I DID say fixin' ... hahahaha! That's a southernism that will outlive us all. Thanks for the compliments and yes, you would love our friend Andrea. She's a ray of sunshine. We have neighbors with whom we've had one semi-tense time but we are friends now, although I converse with them perhaps two or three times a year. All in all we have wonderful, kind, considerate neighbors but there's always that one, isn't there? Yes we need to concentrate on what there WAS to be thankful about in 2020 ... thank YOU for reminding me because I need reminding. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! xoxo
Isn't it nice to have such wonderful memories of your mom? I still smile and sometimes tear up at memories of my mom even 18 years after she died. The necklace you picked out for your daughter is beautiful! I'm sure it will always be cherished by her!
Lovely memories made.... Each and every one of them...
Gentle hugs,
Mari-Nanci
✨💛✨
@Jeanette ... I hope so and yes, I can imagine that for the rest of my life, certain situations will bring a pang for my mom. I wouldn't want it any other way. xoxo
@Mari-Nanci ... Agreed! Again let me say, I loved your wedding photo. You were a beautiful bride. xoxo
A beautiful post and what wonderful memories.
@Jane ... thank you and Happy Thanksgiving! xoxo
A belated Happy Birthday to Stephanie! What a cake! I love the story of your Mom and the gift. Also glad she got to go to her stylist one more time. I still remember taking my mom's lipstick to the undertaker. That pool party sure looked like fun for everyone. Hugs to you all.
@Barb ... there's just something about giving your mom's makeup to the undertaker. It's a moment. And I'm glad I was able to take her to the hairdresser that last time, although I still remember how slowly she walked in. But God is good and we have wonderful memories. Love you xoxo
Such a sweet circle of love you all share! I know your mom will be missed always by you and all her loves - and rightly so! I'm hoping Henry is doing ok - it was rather sudden for him too. And I agree that all the Weber ladies are classic beauties!
@Sydney ... Coming from someone who herself is a classic beauty, that is quite a compliment! Ys we are fortunate to have one another. Thanks for asking about Henry. He is doing remarkably well, staying busy for now with going through papers and effects of Mom's, getting them into the proper hands. I keep waiting for it to "hit" him but everyone is different so maybe he'll escape the worst of that. I know he's leaning on the Lord. We are going to see him in a few days and he says he's excited about that. Merry Christmas to you! xoxo