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That's A Lot O' Open Wah-Uh
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 at 11:44AM 
Today I am doing housework.
I will thank you not to snicker.
Only, I keep finding clear plastic bottles with varying amounts of water in them. Two ounces here, one ounce there, six ounces over yonder.
This makes me mad.
If I open a bottle of water, I finish it. If I don't drink it all in one sitting (or standing), I put it back into the fridge, remember* having put it there, and finish it later. Then I toss the empty into the recycling bin where it belongs.
***adjusts halo***
Apparently TG does not share my philosophy. One of the partially full/partially empty bottles was on his desk. The other was elsewhere in his office. The third was on his bedside table.
Sarah Bernhardt wishes she could've been schooled by this kid.
I showed them to Erica, who is painting the upstairs hallway today.
"Look!" I demanded. "Look at what your father has done in addition to losing his car keys!" In mock* fury I brandished the trio of sloshy bottles.
Erica's chin drifted in the general direction of her sternum and she affected the look of quasi-guilty mutton on the hoof. (Erica is easily mea-culpaed, for some reason. I had nothing whatever to do with this development in her adorable personality.)
"One of those might have been mine," she confessed. She tried to hide her current bottle of water.
(Current ... Water ... if you get it ... good you got it.)
I feigned* outrage. "At least when I open a bottle of water, I drink the whole thing!" I spluttered. "I don't take three swallows and then forget about it and leave the bottle lying around for someone else to pick up!!!"
(I never exaggerate.)
(My dudgeon gets much higher when the situation merits, in case you were wondering. Quite simply, I enjoy entertaining Erica. We do not get out much.)
Erica's chin resumed cruising altitude, then went a half-inch higher. She gestured grandly with her water bottle.
"Three swallows? THREE swallows? THREE SWALLOWS?" Erica thundered.
Sarah Bernhardt wishes she could've been schooled by this kid.
I thought quickly ... something I'm sometimes good at, sometimes not.
"Okay then ... three SPARROWS," I retorted.
To which, Erica spit water out her nose. (She has a drinking problem.)
Water ... Pirate ... I'm good wiv it, y'all.
***sails away***
* key word
Reader Comments (19)
You are so funny! I understand your problems because I have a problem with people from my household taking off their shoes and leaving them laying around. Like you, I would never do that!
Mari, you do not want to get me started on stray shoes. Sometimes I trip on TG's casually strewn size-13's and the result is not exactly attractive! Least of all if you are me! All my shoes are in ... or around ... my closet, LOL!
Haha...this is too funny. I used to have the same bad habit, only with pop cans growing up. My mom used to get soooooo mad at me, I'd drink a few swallows and then never finish it - leaving it warm and flat, past refrigeration-restoration point.
Thankfully for my checkbook, I broke myself of this habit long before I started buying my own soda. ;-)
Oh, I have the same stray, unfinished problem in my home! Son #1 never finishes the water in his bottles! Not being one to waste, I have to hunt them down (he sometimes forgets to throw them in the recycling bin too - where did I go wrong!) and use them on plants, etc. And the shoes! Son #2 likes to display them in his room. The floor of his closet is practically empty!
You did a nice job of entertaining Erica!
@ Angi ... that pop can thing happens at our house too, every time we have a family get-together! I'll be collecting numerous warm cans of soda from around the house and emptying them down the sink after everyone has gone home! I should charge them a quarter per can they open.
@ Keli ... Erica's easy! So good-natured. I'm glad to learn I'm not the Lone Ranger when it comes to family members wasting perfectly good bottled water! I think I'm going to stop buying that stuff.
I am so out of touch...I drink tap water. No bottles. Cheaper than bottled water, Starbucks, gasoline, fuel oil, soda, coffee, milk, alcohol or sniffing glue (I'm probably kidding on that last). So far, no hair growing on my teeth from it, either.
Now strewing shoes all over the place, well, call me guilty ;-)
@ SF ... well, at least strewing shoes is free! Until someone breaks a toe, that is ... anyway, I'm not buying bottled water anymore because, as you point out, it makes no sense. Too expensive, just for starters.
My brother did that (drank half a coke and then set it down somewhere to go flat and die). I say "did" because we kicked him out of the house at age 7 for being so wasteful with his coca-cola.
Too harsh?
@ Kev ... I don't know, man. Knowing how you feel about Coke Zero, it's a wonder you didn't make him STAY and do your chores for the rest of his life! Poor kid ...
ROFL! Well, you outdid yourself there, Jenny! 'Three swallows?' 'Alright then, three SPARROWS!' Ahahaha! Lookie here, sister, if you have three Sparrows, the least you could do is pass one over here! LOL!
@ Jay ... naw girl ... you know I'm gonna hog my allotment of the Captain(s)! LOLOLOL! Maybe you can get yourself a CJS bobblehead like in the pic.
Years ago, I would have gotten on board with you about the water or shoes or whatever items might be strewn about the house .Having had an empty nest now for some time, I have learned that those are signs of life. I now have a 3200 square foot home that stays perfectly clean with the exception of our two coffee cups and a few books hanging around Jim's chair. I find myself treasuring the socks that Jim drops beside the bed...his one fault. I do have Amy at home but she keeps all of her stuff in her one room and bath and I do not open those doors. The playroom that I created for my grands was even sterile until recently when I agreed to be caretaker for my teacher daughter this year and keep my 3 year old grandson. His little superheroes and army weapons and dirty tennis shoes now decorate the playroom and sometimes I find an action figure in the den. I leave them there on purpose....LIFE in the house... I love it and would welcome those water bottles. The only reason I am in this big house instead of a condo is I have the great hope that all the kids and all the grands and all their friends will come and mess it up for me. Having said that, I do get a little irritated when I am the only one cleaning the beach house. We have great water here so we do not buy water ....guess I won't have to worry about the plastic bottle decor. Dixie
Awwww Dix ... they'll all be around messing stuff up soon enough! You know I wouldn't trade my family and the little clutter they make, for anything in the world. All my "ranting" is in total jest.
Three sparrows.. thats just like you, Mrs.Weber.
I sure do miss getting to read your blog as often as I'd like. I'm glad you're still entertaining us with some family events. I love the new page design too.
Robyn me dear! Yeah girl, some things never change but I'm glad you approve of the things that do. When are you coming over to see me?
Ha ha, I love it! Right now I am without a roommate so it's just me and naturally I don't leave anything strewn about. *looks around for former roommate* Nothing.
Hey Erin! **waves excitedly**
Naturally. Enjoy that uncluttered nest while you can!
There are six of us in this house and none of us ever put shoes away unless visitors are coming.
I wish I could be daring enough to leave half-finished drinks and food but I was so thoroughly trained to clear my plate and not be wasteful. The only drawback with this habit is my figure isn't quite what it was!!
Hi Anne ... I hear you on that. Water is the limit in this house as to what one can (at least temporarily) get away with leaving round about! We may eat in other parts of the house (and we generally clean our plates too, LOL!) but the rule is, march your dish(es) right to the sink when you're done. And run water in it/them.